Confessions of an Online Dater
Written by Christi Given | July 28, 2017
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This week, a PI Girl shared her story about the effects and dangers of idolizing your crush or boyfriend, and/or the effects of compromising through online dating.
I’m not saying people can’t safely date online, nor am I saying it’s good; the following story is just someone’s personal experience. Although PI doesn’t support dating apps, we’re not saying people can’t meet their potential husband online—however, girls, make sure you’re over 18 if you are dating, and if you’re living at home, make sure your parents approve of you going out with someone if he’s not connected to you directly through friends or family. In this day and age, there are many counterfeits and it can be very dangerous meeting strangers online.
For thou shalt worship no other god; for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God. (Exodus 34:14)
Below is an anonymous PI Girl’s testimony of how she was negatively affected by a guy she met through a well-known dating app who “claimed” he was a believer, yet treated her poorly.
I pray this article touches you to lean on and trust in the Lord and not on yourself, amen.
CONFESSIONS OF A PI GIRL:
“For [many] girls, having a boyfriend is essential to being completely happy. However, is this really godly? I hope that in sharing my story and my experience that some of your questions will be answered.
“About six months ago, I met a guy on a popular dating app…. Never did I think that this guy would become someone so special to me, and someone whom I came to love so dearly. About a week after we met, we started dating and I fell head over heels.
“When we were in the early stages of our relationship, he treated me like a queen. He did everything right, and I thought I was going to marry him from day one, which I later found out was a mistake.
“About three months into the relationship, I started to realize that things were different. He stopped asking to hang out, and wanted to spend more time working or just relaxing himself. I started to think the worst. Does he still like me? Is it something I said? What did I do wrong? I didn’t say anything because he didn’t like confrontation or having deep conversations in general. I just kept quiet and hoped that everything was okay.
“Well, looking back, it wasn’t okay. We broke up, not for one specific reason, but for many different ones. There was so much that I did wrong. I put everything into him, and received little to nothing in return. I had never worked harder for something, and that was a problem in and of itself. I should have been putting God first, not only in the relationship, but in my personal life, too.
“Girls, never settle. Never settle for someone who is not wanting to commit. Never settle for someone who isn’t putting God first. Pray and wait for the Lord to show the right person and the right plan that HE has for your life. Don’t try to plan your life out for yourself. You will only crash and burn.
“Something I have realized in these last couple months is that our God is a jealous God. He does not tolerate people or things coming in the way of Him. When we put Him first, everything else will fall into place. It may not be in the exact path that we created for ourselves, but in the Bible, God says that His ways are greater than our ways.
“Flash-forward to today: I am still struggling to trust God all the time. I am learning to take time to grieve and to really feel. The relationship ended and I was devastated. I put my entire worth into my boyfriend, and I left God out of it. I realized that I need to let God write my love story. We are not supposed to be the authors of our own life; that’s God’s job. God does not tolerate idols, and my boyfriend was an idol. I put him before God, and God didn’t like it.
“In the weeks following the breakup, I recommitted my life to Christ. I asked the Lord to take His desires and make them my desires. I asked for His will to be done. I studied scripture more than I ever have, and it felt good. For the first time, I didn’t feel alone. People gathered around me and sought to remind me each and every day, that I am loved, and I AM enough.
“Girls, this is my prayer for you: that you would put God first in your life and choose him each and every day. When you step out of the driver’s seat and let God take control, God will not disappoint. He is a good father. God never promised an easy road, but He did promise that He will never give us more than we can handle.” —PI Girl
Project Inspired Girls, let us wait on the Lord for the man of God for us, our spouse that He has chosen. When you trust God, you don’t have to track the man down—rather, he will find you (Proverbs 18:22). It is okay to step out on faith and build godly friendships based on purity, but if you compromise, you may regret your choices later. Many times consequences don’t manifest until months or years down the line.
He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. (Proverbs 18:22)
If you wait on God in His timing and don’t seek the approval of man or society to have a boyfriend or “false security,” you will be at peace with God. The Lord says in the scriptures, “Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame” (Psalm 34:5). Jesus never wants you to compromise and take matters into your hands—trust Him and His timing.
Remember when you start to doubt or lose faith that Sarah doubted God and she got Ishmael (which He still could bless…but he wasn’t the chosen awaited son). God can still bless you after your mistakes and turn them for good, but it’s not His BEST for you, His daughter. Sarah and Abraham had a promise of their son, who was eventually Isaac the real blessing, but it took much time, testing and faith.
Do you believe God in His timing and promises? Comment below!
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