Catch Nicole in Catching Faith 2 now on DVD and streaming, buy your copy here!

Catch Nicole in Catching Faith 2 now on DVD and streaming!

More

    Dating Roundtable: Say What You Mean (and Mean What You Say)

    Zach Hunter headshot

    I’m not a marriage counselor or a “relationship expert,” but I’ve dated before and I’m (very) married now. So while I’m no expert, I’ve had my feelings hurt in bad relationships/friendships, but have also been affirmed in my marriage.

    I want to help you realize that, while there are some good things to do in any relationship, there also are a lot of different ways to do relationships that might not necessarily be bad. Listen to people who’ve come before you, respect yourself and the other person, and most importantly, stay sensitive to what God may be trying to teach you.

    All right, let’s get straight to the good stuff. Here are my five tips for dating:

    1. Don’t Lead Him On.

    If a guy expresses interest in you, it probably feels pretty good to have someone think you’re attractive, interesting and fun to be around. Or maybe you like flirting with a lot of guys because it’s pretty harmless and you like getting them to flirt back. Here’s the deal: Of course it feels good to know that others find you attractive, and of course it’s fun to get a reaction. But ultimately, you could be ruining some potentially great friendships by leading people on, or pushing away a really great guy if he sees you flirting with lots of other guys.

    2. Don’t Be Too Available.

    Here’s what I mean by “don’t be too available”: Don’t always rearrange your plans if a guy you’re into texts and asks if you want to hang out. Not only is there something attractive about a person who has her own life, but it also helps you draw healthy boundaries so your entire life doesn’t revolve around a boy.

     3. Don’t Play Mind Games (Say What You Mean).

    I know a lot of girls who think they have to try to act mysterious or keep a guy guessing in order to keep him interested. I’m gonna let you in on a little secret, ladies: We don’t get you. You don’t have to play mind games to be mysterious; we do not understand you. You are already intriguing and you don’t have to manipulate us to keep us interested–just mean what you say and say what you mean.

     4. Don’t Talk About Marriage (Right Away, at Least).

    I don’t think it’s a great idea to begin dating someone by declaring that your “intentions are for marriage.” This rushes the process of the relationship and makes it easier to jump into premature intimacy, emotionally and sexually. Hear me out: I think one of the things young, single Christians are taught is that we should date with marriage in mind. I agree, inasmuch as I think a mature person who’s looking for long-term companionship should only date someone they think is marriage material. Knowing something like that means that you need to be friends first, and that’s a great place to start.

     5. Learn His Love Language. 

    If you’re already in a relationship, you can start using this one right now, but if you’re not, this will definitely come in handy in a future relationship and in all of your friendships, too! Gary Chapman wrote a book called The 5 Love Languages. He talks about how every human has a kind of affection that speaks to them most deeply. The five love languages are Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time and Physical Touch. Find out more about your significant other, and about yourself, so you can adequately express your appreciation for each other as is appropriate for the maturity of your relationship.

    We all come from different cultures with different backgrounds that have different expectations of family involvement in relationships and modesty in clothing, among other things. I just want you to find an amazing guy (not “the one,” because he doesn’t exist) who loves God and you, and supports you in all of your efforts. Love is awesome and worth waiting for.

    Zach Hunter

    Which of these 5 tips do you think is the most important?

    Loading ... Loading ...

    Speech-Bubbles MORE ON DATING: Go back to the Dating Roundtable now!

     

    Team Project Inspired
    We here at Project Inspired want to guide and inspire teen girls to be true to themselves and to God. We want to show young girls how to be people of value and confidence – how to be your own best selves – through leading a Christian life. Who are we? We're a team of girls, like you. We edit the site, we post to social media, we hang out in the chat rooms and forums. We talk with you, we listen to you, and we love you!

    11 COMMENTS

    Project Inspired

    Hey there, welcome to Project Inspired. We're here to inspire you to know that God created you for a wonderful purpose. We are a community of believers who love God. You have gifts and talents from God that are unique to you, and we're here to guide you along the way.

    Read On

    Expectations vs. Reality of Going to a Christian College

    Are you currently going to a Christian college? Are you planning on it one day? You're going to have an amazing time—but check out...

    How to Encourage Your Boyfriend’s Spiritual Leadership

    We often talk about spiritual leadership only in the context of men: Husbands, boyfriends, fathers and sons are called to be “spiritual leaders,” and...

    How to Disagree Well and Pursue Unity: 5 Truths to Remember

    2020 has been a hard year for all of us in one way or another. Not only have we been navigating the challenges of...

    11 of the Funniest Christian Memes on the Internet This Week

    It's safe to say that memes are taking over the internet by storm. Something that kids used to post is now popular amongst politicians,...

    ‘My Faith is the Foundation of Who I Am,’ Actress Candace Cameron Bure Shares Her Experience As a Christian In Hollywood

    Candace Cameron Bure has been acting and living in Hollywood for pretty much the entirety of her life. Most known for her acting as...

    Subscribe!

    Stay connected with Project Inspired.