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    What Do Christian Girls Need to Know About Dating?

    Ah, dating. Navigating the world of romantic relationships can be like navigating a minefield blindfolded, especially when you’re trying to figure out who you are, what you believe and how to keep your grades up (much less where you’re going to college and juggling all those extracurricular activities). There are some things you probably don’t have to worry about in high school and, trust me, we’re not trying to push you into a relationship if you’re not ready for it.

    The point of this roundtable is really for those of us who have traversed the minefield of romance before, to offer to you what we wish we would have known when we were your age. You might have heard some of this stuff before, but some of it is stuff your parents probably wouldn’t tell you.

    Whether you believe that dating, courtship, or some other format for relationships is right for you, I hope that you can take these things to heart and have the best friendships and relationships possible.

    So, without further ado, here are our Top 5 Tips for Relationships:

    zachhuntersquareZACH’S VIEW: SAY WHAT YOU MEAN (AND MEAN  WHAT YOU SAY)

    “I know a lot of girls who think they have to try to act mysterious or keep a guy guessing in order to keep him interested. I’m gonna let you in on a little secret, ladies…” (READ MORE)

    Zach Hunter, Anti-Slavery Activist and Author of Chivalry and Be the Change

     

     

     

     

    Jaimie RamseyJAIMIE’S VIEW: “LOVE IS NOT A FEELING”

     

    “‘Love’ is not a feeling. Choose to love someone whether or not they always act in a loving manner toward you…” (READ MORE

    Jaimie Ramsey, Writer, Jaimieramsey.com

     

     

     

     

     

    Matt Shirley - HeadshotMATT’S VIEW: HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY

    “Maybe you’re slightly messy, maybe you have one of those 2nd toes that’s longer than your big toe or maybe your family really is crazy. So what? Ditch the cover-up and be honest.” (READ MORE

    Matt Shirley, Writer, We Are the Vigilant

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Ciona Rouse HeadshotCIONA’S VIEW: “THIRST FOR WATER, NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND

    “God within us fulfills our emptiness. You do not need anyone else to make you happy, whole or complete.” (READ MORE)

    Ciona Rouse, Poet and Storyteller at Do the Crazy Thing

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Whose advice do you think is most relatable?

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    Zach Hunter
    I'm... not a girl. But I am a proud contributor to the upcoming Project Inspired roundtable discussions on a variety of topics! I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts! Hit me up- Twitter: @zachjhunter Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ZachHunterOfficial

    9 COMMENTS

    1. Zach: Definitely agree! I like what you said about being friends first! So many girls date guys that they have known for a week, a few days, even a few hours, then say that they love them after the second date, then get hurt because the guy turned out to be a real jerk. It is so important that a girl and guy be friends first, because a dating relationship ultimately is about finding who you want to spend the rest of your life with, and you want to make sure you know the person first.

      Jaimie: I love everything you said. So many young women date for the fun of it, because everyone else is, or because it makes them “feel happy”. But I much prefer courtship, which is about considering the other party as a lifelong partner. You put my exact thoughts on that angle of dating perfectly!

      Matt: Really well said! So many young ladies, myself included, have a habit of hiding the things about ourselves that we think others will find unattractive. For instance, I am extremely talkative and a huge nerd, and I was always afraid to show it to others for a long time. When I finally was willing to be myself around other people, I discovered that it was so much easier to make friends, including forging friendships with guys.

      Ciona: Beautifully put! I hate it when people say that their significant other “completes them” or they “can’t live without” them. I hate it because it means they are determining their value, their completeness, by whether or not they have a date on Friday night. The only person who can possibly complete you is God. Not your boyfriend or your husband, GOD!

      I loved this week’s! Next time, perhaps you could do one on making wise choices in the world of popular media?

    2. Zach: I totally agree with what you said about not being too available. Friends and family are more important than guys. Let’s say your crush wants to hang out with you the same day you’re going to the movies with a friend! I’d obviously choose a friend because guys come and go. 😉

      Jamie: I agree with what you said about love not being a feeling. To love means to respect that person and love them no matter what!

      Matt: I totally agree with what you said, especially about being yourself around a guy! I know that guys don’t appreciate girls who try too hard for them to like them.

      Ciona: I totally agree with thirsting for God and not your bf. God will always be there for you, forever and always! 😀

    3. Zach: I really like your list. It’s empowering and SO TRUE. Many girls will plan their whole lives around this guy who is “the one” and it can be harmful. I was best friends with my current boyfriend for 4 years before we dated.

      Jaimie: I really liked what you had to say about love not being a feeling. I agreed 🙂 I personally have different boundaries with my boyfriend, and to be honest, we’ve gotten so accustomed to them that it’s not even hard anymore. We’ve chosen not to have sex so we don’t. Cuddling on the couch doesn’t really affect that, at least for us 🙂 But I definitely agree that boundaries are important!

      Matt: I loved yours! I really enjoy your writing style. It’s so important to be honest with the other person about your flaws. I wouldn’t be truly happy in my relationship if I felt like I couldn’t burp every once in a while 😉 maybe I’m exaggerating, but whatever. I feel like your rules were perfect!

      Ciona: Yours really resonated with me! Grace is a beautiful concept, and it’s not taught enough in relationships.

    4. My thoughts:
      Zach: I really enjoyed your writing style. I liked that you gave guidance then really took the time to explain what you said. The content was spot on. I really liked what you said about the mind games… It made me laugh because I have also had guys do that to me and I never really quite got what they were trying to say 😛

      Jaimie: You made some really great points! I love what you said about staying vertical. Not only does it help with purity, but if you break up, having not stayed vertical makes it even harder. Rule 5 was my favorite though. I have been guilty of over looking things (even in friendships) that shouldn’t have been over looked. Guess I really ought to start opening my eyes, huh? 😉

      Matt: I feel like you just wrote down, pretty much word-for-word the dating advice I give the younger girls in my youth group. It’s kinda creepy. I really liked what you said about friendship first. I recently dated and broke-up with a really good friend. We broke-up because it became evident that we weren’t supposed to get married. That being said, we are just as close of friends as we were before dating and just know and get each other better now after dating.

      Ciona: I love your point about life being like nail polish! I never thought of it like that. Having Grace is a huge thing. I have had many times where I haven’t wanted to be graceful about things because of a boy and looking back, I now see that God was working in that. I think how you focused on God and you more than the other person or other things is a very unique perspective and very true. If things aren’t right between you and God, you have no business bringing someone else into the circle.

    5. Wow, I loved everbody’s advice! All of their articles had something I could relate to! It was nice having both genders writing on the subject of dating, so I could get two perspectives! One thing I got for each article is: to do it God’s way. Talk to Him about it and look to Him for the answer!

    6. My mom gave me one of the best pieces of advice when I started dating: You’ll either be together forever or you won’t. Those are the only two ways this can go. Be prepared for either.

    Project Inspired

    We here at Project Inspired want to guide and inspire teen girls to be true to themselves and to God. We want to show young girls how to be people of value and confidence – how to be your own best selves – through leading a Christian life. Who are we? We're a team of girls, like you. We edit the site, we post to social media, we hang out in the chat rooms and forums. We talk with you, we listen to you, and we love you!

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