Catch Nicole in Catching Faith 2 now on DVD and streaming, buy your copy here!

Catch Nicole in Catching Faith 2 now on DVD and streaming!

More

    Dating Tips for the Extroverted Girl

    Both introverts and extroverts can impact the world for Christ. Our unique personalities equip us for our lives! But in a fallen world, our personalities are affected by sin nature. We are all in progress, our personalities being sanctified by God’s Spirit in us.

    Sometimes our personalities blind us to areas that need work. This is especially true in dating, when we tend to put “best foot forward” to impress the people we go out with. Both introverts and extroverts do this! Today, let’s talk about how to date well as an extrovert.

    I learned the following principles the hard way. As a committed extrovert, I’ve seen my relationships damaged when I didn’t follow this advice. I’ve also seen how implementing these simple changes made dating much more enjoyable—both for me and the guys I went out with (and ultimately, the man I married!).

     

    Don’t underestimate the power of listening.

    The stereotype portrays introverts as listeners and extroverts as talkers. While this generalization is not entirely true, many extroverts do find it more difficult to listen than to engage in a thriving discussion. If you’re like me, you get so excited by a topic that you tend to interrupt other people. While our motives are almost always good, it’s important to refrain from interrupting others, particularly on a date!

    Listening is a lifetime habit. By intentionally setting aside your own opinions and thoughts to hear another’s, you are building character—and possibly the foundation of a lasting relationship. Listening is a selfless act and, as such, very appealing in a date.

     

    Embrace the awkward silence.

    Believe it or not, silence is part of a good conversation. It takes 17 seconds to formulate a thought (which you may have noticed if you’ve ever sat, mind racing, to come up with a new conversation topic). While silence might feel awkward, let it happen periodically. Don’t fill every open space with new words!

    Giving space allows a guy the opportunity to ask you questions. If you never give him a chance—peppering him with questions because you’re nervous, or talking in circles because the silence is deadly—you may never get to really connect with your date.

     

    Have realistic expectations.

    Not every person is an extrovert like yourself. Since opposites often attract, there is a high likelihood you’ll go out with an introvert! Given this reality, it’s wise to set realistic expectations for your date (e.g., he might take you to a quiet dinner instead of a sporting event). Let him create the environment if he’s the one who initiated the outing. While you don’t have to continue going out with someone whose personality doesn’t jive with yours, do try to appreciate his individuality.

     

    Give grace.

    Finally, be gracious! Many extroverts are very comfortable in large groups and new situations. They adapt to their environments quickly and draw energy from others. If your date is not as extroverted as you, he might not be able to “keep up” at first. If he’s not accustomed to crowds, concerts or whatever your hobby might be, he’ll need grace for the growing season.

    My husband is the direct opposite of my personality (according to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, I’m an ENTJ; he is an INTP). We don’t share many hobbies, and when we were dating, he didn’t care for the concerts and large, loud discussions I preferred for fun. We both had to compromise to make the relationship work—and we still do! Giving grace in your relationships is much easier when you recognize how much grace God has given you. Let the gospel guide your relationships and personality type will be secondary.

    Phylicia Masonheimer
    Phylicia Masonheimerhttps://phyliciamasonheimer.com/
    Phylicia Masonheimer is an author and speaker teaching women how to discern what is true, discuss the deep stuff, and accomplish God's will for their specific lives. She holds a B.S. in Religion from Liberty University, where she met her husband, Josh, and now lives in northern Michigan with her two daughters, Adeline and Geneva.

    1 COMMENT

    Project Inspired

    Hey there, welcome to Project Inspired. We're here to inspire you to know that God created you for a wonderful purpose. We are a community of believers who love God. You have gifts and talents from God that are unique to you, and we're here to guide you along the way.

    Read On

    How to Encourage Your Boyfriend’s Spiritual Leadership

    We often talk about spiritual leadership only in the context of men: Husbands, boyfriends, fathers and sons are called to be “spiritual leaders,” and...

    How to Disagree Well and Pursue Unity: 5 Truths to Remember

    2020 has been a hard year for all of us in one way or another. Not only have we been navigating the challenges of...

    11 of the Funniest Christian Memes on the Internet This Week

    It's safe to say that memes are taking over the internet by storm. Something that kids used to post is now popular amongst politicians,...

    ‘My Faith is the Foundation of Who I Am,’ Actress Candace Cameron Bure Shares Her Experience As a Christian In Hollywood

    Candace Cameron Bure has been acting and living in Hollywood for pretty much the entirety of her life. Most known for her acting as...

    45 Ways to Have the Best Summer Staycation

    Life looks a little different these days. Because of the Coronavirus, many of us are stuck at home this summer, with all plans to...

    Subscribe!

    Stay connected with Project Inspired.