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Christian Life

Dealing with the Silent Treatment? Learn to Forgive

Have you ever experienced a family member or friend giving you the “silent treatment”? Has someone held a grudge against you and didn’t give you a second chance? Are you having a hard time forgiving someone? Here are some tips!

1. Pray for the person in the situation. Pursue peace.

Even if you are upset and feel like you and your friend had a miscommunication, you need to pray. There is POWER in prayer. Ask God to soften your friend’s heart and that there will be a mending and forgiveness on both ends. The Bible talks about pursuing peace:

Therefore let us PURSUE the things which make for PEACE and the things which one may edify another (Romans 14:19).

2. Know that God forgives you. Therefore, forgive others.

The Lord is UNCHANGING. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. That is why we don’t put our trust in man, because man can fail or disappoint us.

 Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool (Isaiah 1:18).

The Lord also says he will remove your sins in the deepest oceans and will remember them no more–as far as the east is from the west! Thank Jesus for salvation and forgiveness!

God forgives us, so we need to love others as Christ loves us. If we don’t it is hard for us to be forgiven.

But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses (Mark 11:26).

3. Give it time. Be Patient.

Usually it takes time for people to heal or be open to returning to a relationship that has been broken. Be patient and know the Lord will see your heart. Sometimes time allows people to have the space to breathe and realize that forgiveness is the right thing to do.

Love is patient… (1 Corinthians 13:4)

4. Forgive yourself.

Not only is it important to ask God or the person you’ve hurt for forgiveness, but it’s also important to forgive yourself. It is easy to harbor your mistakes, but don’t belittle the forgiveness God has offered you. What Jesus did on the cross is more than enough to cover any sin. Know that the Father still loves you NO MATTER WHAT you’ve done. If you don’t let the matter go it can turn into even more hurt!

Know that everyone has made a mistake and upset a family member or friend at some point in their lives. It’s okay to make mistakes once in a while. It is inevitable you will–no one is perfect. It is not about when you fall, but what you do to get back up.

Praise the lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits–who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s … The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the EAST IS FROM THE WEST so far has he removed our transgressions from us (Psalm 103:1-5, 9-12).

Let the power of God’s love move you and trust He is mighty to heal.

Watch Sanctus Real’s song “Forgiven.” I love it!


Image: iStockphoto | Thinkstock


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  1. Project Inspired

    Posted by HollyK96 on December 27, 2011 at 18:48

    I really like this article, but what if your the person who is upset or holding a grudge? I have a younger sister and she has a habit of getting very mad at me and flying off the handle; saying mean things out of anger and hurting my feelings. I know that she doesn’t actually mean what she says, and that she’s just angry and has a short temper, so I usually give her some space and let her cool down. I’m not the kind of person to hold a grudge, and after a while we’re fine with each other, but part of me knows it will happen again. What should I do? I don’t like being/staying mad at her; she’s my sister, and I love her, but I don’t like the fact that she thinks she can treat me like this and get away with it; that she can say all this stuff to me, and then act like it never happened.

  2. Paris

    Posted by Paris on December 14, 2011 at 20:46

    If God forgave us by sending his son to die,we can forgive others.

  3. jones.dana46

    Posted by jones.dana46 on December 14, 2011 at 12:29

    Colossians 3:13 “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”