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    “Dear Beloved-to-Be…” By PI Girl Jayne

    Patience has never been my strongest suit…in fact, I’m working on it every day! However, I made a commitment to myself and God that I wouldn’t date. I would court. And when I court, it will be a man who I’ve gotten to know and is a man who could be my potential husband.

    Does that mean that I don’t notice guys around me? That I don’t wonder where my Mr. Right is? That I don’t wonder when God will introduce us? Of course not! I wonder all the time, and I do notice guys. It’s hard to keep myself focused on my commitment. I would really like to have a boyfriend. It would be fun, but I know that God has already chosen the best man for my future. He’s out there somewhere…

    But waiting is hard! And as I said, patience is not something I come by naturally (I doubt there are many people out there who do!).

    So I decided to add something to my commitment. I decided that not only was I going to wait for the right man, I was going to love him…now! I was going to keep a special place in my heart especially reserved for him, and I wasn’t going to let it get dusty and forgotten. Every day, I pray for him, wherever he is. I pray that God will protect him, and let him know that I am waiting for him.

    But I also do something else. Something that some people might think is silly, but I find that it is really helping me!

    I bought a journal, and every night I write my beloved-to-be a letter. I tell him everything! I tell him about my day, what I did and saw. I tell him how I am growing spiritually, and that I am waiting for him…even though it is really hard sometimes! I am honest with him. I imagine that one day, when he and I are married, I’ll let him read these letters. They are to him, after all!

    You might be thinking, “How can you write a letter to someone you don’t even know?”

    I wondered that too, when I first started writing him letters. Of course, I don’t know certain things about him, like what he looks like, what his sense of humor is, what movies he likes, what books, what hobbies…

    But I do know a few things that he will be if he is the man God intended for me. He’ll be honest and kind. He’ll have resolve for what he believes in. He’ll be a man of prayer. He’ll have love for his family. And most importantly, he’ll be a man of God, dedicated to his faith in the Father.

    You see, I may not know specific little details, but I do know a lot of important things about him. The man I am writing to may not have a face yet, but I’ll see it someday, when God introduces us.

    And until then, I’ll write him a letter every day, striving to become a young woman that such a young man will look for…

    Written by PI girl Jayne

    Team Project Inspired
    We here at Project Inspired want to guide and inspire teen girls to be true to themselves and to God. We want to show young girls how to be people of value and confidence – how to be your own best selves – through leading a Christian life. Who are we? We're a team of girls, like you. We edit the site, we post to social media, we hang out in the chat rooms and forums. We talk with you, we listen to you, and we love you!

    66 COMMENTS

    1. This is really good! I’ve been struggling with this a lot lately. The boy I’ve liked for some time now asked my good friend to be his girlfriend..they’ve been going out for a couple of months now and I’ve been pretty down about it..hopping there may be a chance for us..I know it sounds VERY selfish…I just want a “Happy Ever After” kind of story and thought maybe I would get it with him.But knowing that God has a plan for me..whether it includes this boy or not is really helpful!

    2. I loved how you said you’ve reserved a special place for him by loving him now and that you pray for him and want him to know that you’re waiting because I thought I was the only one who did that. It’s amazing how God works! thanks for posting this! 🙂
      I also love the letter thing, I think I’ll try that as well!

    3. Wow this is Awesome!! I felt God speak to my heart along time ago and that He wants me to wait for my future husband too! So I have and let me tell you it is hard!! I don’t know of a girl that would say ( Thats easy I could do that with no problem) Same thing with guys.. We are gonna be tempted in life, but if we are strong in God we have the power to say no!! I started writing letters to my future husband about a year ago. I cant believe i am saying this but it has made it easier for me to wait for him. Sometimes I am still tempted but then I remember that he is out there somewhere waiting for me right now and do I want to give that up and date until he comes around! No!
      One thing that has helped me in the past is when I look at a guy remember that he has a future wife out there somewhere and if she was standing right there beside him would I be looking at him like I am now or trying to get his attention!!! Just remember that girls the next time you look at a guy:)

    4. hi! i love your post! i first heard about the whole writing letters to your future husband thing like 2 years ago when I was reading the christy miller series( it’s a christian novel series and I recomend it for every girl out there). Christy also had a hard time with boys and started writing letters to her future husband to help her overcome temptation but I guess I never tried it because I thought it was silly. Knowing that there are actually girls out there that do this has kinda made me realize that this could actually help so I guess I’ll give it a try. Thank you for the post 🙂

    5. OMG A GIRL I KNOW DOES THIS! I was going to but i kept forgetting. But now im totally doing this, lol my entrys gunna be Dear Awesome Future Husband,hehe. And ive totally been praying for him! Also i have a special place in my heart for him! Also i hav a list of good characteristics he needs to have. Like he has to be sweet and loving. Its my list of standards in a guy. So that i have my eye out for a good Christian guy. And i never lower them. Because i believe God will give me someone that matches my list. Well its just what i do. God bless ya!

      • To be perfectly honest, I have wondered (and worried!) about perhaps never getting married. But I take heart in knowing that God has planned my future which is best suited to me and His plans for me. And, sometimes, us romantic girlies believe that what would make us truly happy and complete is to have a perfect guy. But really, no guy on the face of the planet can do this for us, and it is unfair to them to expect that. Where our true fullfillment and happiness comes from is Christ. NOTHING (not even the cutest, nicest guy) else can do this for us. 🙂

      • I do. There is no reason to worry. I don’t think it’s true that everyone has someone out there if you know what I mean. I think some the disciples were not married. God can fully satisfy you…if you let him.

    6. I’m sitting with my friend FinallyFoundHope on my laptop and we got on PI, and the title really stuck out to us because WE DO THIS TOO! A few weeks ago we decided to journal to our future husbands!! So cool that we’re no the only ones!
      FinallyFoundHope: It’s great to know that friends are doing it too!

        • everything. i tell him about my day,my walk,my feeling. and sometimes just random stuff that pops into my head. i kinda feel bad for my future husband… i mean he’ll be married to me. lol

        • Me too! I write to him about all sorts of stuff. I write him every night, so sometimes I don’t know what to say. So I just babble about not knowing what to say and then I find something to say. I believe he’ll think it is funny later… I hope! 😀

    7. i do the same thing, i feel like i already know him more even though i may not have met him :)im glad i have a way that i can tell him anything ill probly give my journal to him as a wedding gift

    8. wow, that’s a great idea! I’m so trying that out! i never really realized the difference between dating and courting, but then i started reading articles on this website and realized that there really is one…. so thank you for that realization!:)

    9. This reminds me of that shirt “Purely Loving My Husband and i haven’t even met him” haha!! I sort of do this too, except it doesnt say “dear future husband or anything, i just write as if i was talking to my best friend. Sometimes i talk to him, and sometimes it is more like talking with God, but i just like the idea generally!!! And i agree, this was one of the most interesting, creative and inspiring articles on here! Thanks Jayne!!

    10. That is really beautiful (: I get scared that I’m telling my guy friends too much about my life, and I think this might be a good fix. I’m just really scared that I’ll create an imaginary man in my head. I’m not too sure, but I still am. Any advice on how I can use this great tool but still keep from creating a fantasy that could be potentially harmful?

      • When I write in my journal, I talk primarily about myself. I tell him everything I would very likely tell my husband- that is, if I was married now. Like a week or so ago, I was working, and someone was rude to me over the phone. I felt very embarrassed and hurt, but my first thought was I was going to tell “him” in my journal. Because, I know that the man God is going to provide for me will be sympathetic when my feelings are hurt because he loves me dearly. Also, I write when exciting or fun things happen in my life, because I know my hubby will be happy for me 😀 I tell him pretty much anything and everything.

        I’ve read about this in several awesome books, but I think every girl should make a list of what they know they should watch out for in a guy. Go through the Bible and find stories about godly men and write down characteristics that you know God would want you to have in a good, Christian guy!

        This is a good book that talks about this: Before You Meet Prince Charming by Sarah Mally.

        When you know what God is looking for in a guy, then you’ll have him pretty well- realistically- imagined. And that is a good thing! You won’t know what he looks like, or sounds like, or fun personality traits, but you’ll know a lot, too! And also always remember that no one on the face of planet earth is perfect. Just remind yourself of that when you are making a list of what your husband will be.

        (I’ve also made a list of what I should be. Because a good, godly man will marry a good, godly woman. No matter where you are right now in life, you can be CERTAIN that God can grow you and mature you in His ways if you ask Him to and seek avidly to follow Him 🙂 “Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children” Ephesians 5:1. God is the perfect Father, and He wants to grow you in goodness and strength. Just go to him in prayer, and read His love letters to you. The Bible has so many encouraging, and convicting, verses. All of them written to teach us how to better, maturing children.)

    11. that’s a really good idea… ya it does sound weird but it’ll keep me going in the mean time since i dont have a bf either… honestly i dont know how i do it! everywhere around skool there are people making out constantly! it makes me sick sometimes! but if they’re doing that then they aren’t in God’s will so what does it matter anyway?! ill start writing letters to my future man..even though it is weird!:D

    12. I think that’s a great technique I do some of the things you said and it does work i’m almost 17 and I’ve been able to keep waiting for my future husband thank you for the advice may God bless you.

    13. really enjoyed reading this, this has been something that has been placed on my heart and last night at the women’s event my church had another girl close to my age had shared a story similar to this and it made me truly think about how I have been living. which was i was searching for my “mr right” in all the wrong places this helped me to realize that i need to take a step back and know that God already has my “mr right” for me and i just have to learn to “wait” and let God write my love story.

    14. This is such a cool idea!! I also read about this in the Christy Miller book series, which are AMAZING btw!!!:) anyways, i just wrote my first letter and I’m so excited, this is such a cool idea!!! Also I think it helps to know that other girls are doing this out there, and how special it will be formy future husband

    15. I made that same commitment, and I write letters to him, too. I can really say it’s really hard not to want to date, because everyone at school and in books and on TV makes it look so great. But I made a promise to God, and I will not back down on it. I also promised that my first kiss would be at the altar on my wedding day, and that I will still be a virgin. But sometimes it’s so hard to hold to those,because right now our culture is telling us its fine “to just sleep around” and stuff i find that I am being tested in my faith almost every day. Girls, please pray for me. Know that you guys are all on my prayer list, too.

    16. I like your idea of writing a journal to your future husband. I am going to start with that too. Though I don’t want to marry, it might happen that GOD will provide me with a husband who loves the Lord as much as I do and live with Christ in him.

    Project Inspired

    We here at Project Inspired want to guide and inspire teen girls to be true to themselves and to God. We want to show young girls how to be people of value and confidence – how to be your own best selves – through leading a Christian life. Who are we? We're a team of girls, like you. We edit the site, we post to social media, we hang out in the chat rooms and forums. We talk with you, we listen to you, and we love you!

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