Desiring Marriage Isn’t Bad, But Don’t Fall Into Idolatry
Written by Christi Given | June 8, 2018
Many of us young women desire to be married someday. Some of us have to wait longer than others. Some people get married sooner just because they lack patience. There is nothing wrong with strongly desiring marriage, because it is a godly desire that glorifies Christ, when done in order. We know that God wants us to be married to Him first as He is a jealous God. The Lord wants us to run to Him first with our desires and our needs, and He wants our worship.
Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life. Don’t think I’m being harder on you than on the others. I give this same counsel in all the churches. (1 Corinthians 7:17)
When we seek God first and build His Kingdom, then we can build our home and He will build ours. Many people only serve God when they get what they want and then they forget about Him and end up putting their Bible on the shelf. When people get wrapped up in having kids, housework, bills and just life’s mishaps, God can easily become second, third, forth or even last priority. We can even do this when we’re dating and become boy crazy. We need to guard our hearts and keep the King first (Psalm 37:4, Matthew 6:33).
When we follow our God-given desires and glorify Christ first and foremost, we are pleasing our eternal husband and then he can give us our earthly husband. If you are truly called for Kingdom work and evangelism, and you are married, it’s not easy to divide up your time. Granted, it says in the Bible that “one can chase a thousand and two can chase ten thousand” (Deuteronomy 32:30), but Paul reminds us that it’s better to remain single if we want to focus the most on the eternal Kingdom of winning souls. Time is so short and we don’t have a guarantee of tomorrow, so we can build an earthly home and family that will be gone one day or focus more of our energy on winning eternal family members in an unshakeable Kingdom.
God knows that not everyone will be at this spiritually mature level to want to sacrifice such a desired thing as marriage and family. He knows we have flesh and earthly needs. God is compassionate and has given us earthly families as a blessing and as a picture of His love for us. Of course it is all God’s idea, but everyone has different callings and races to run.
If you do desire marriage, that is totally normal and is a beautiful thing, especially in the culture we live in where marriage is often debunked and discredited as not working. We need people to champion healthy marriages and to desire purity in a monogamous covenant relationship. Don’t ever be ashamed to desire marriage, but one thing I must caution you on (and we can all be guilty of this) is wanting it more than Jesus (1 Corinthians 7).
We just need to keep our priorities in order and make sure Yeshua is number one in our hearts. When we put anything before God our Lord and King, it can become idolatry. This can even happen by accident when we love or want something more than our Abba Father. We kick, scream, stomp and complain when God doesn’t give us what we want when we want it or when dating doesn’t work for us, but if He is truly LORD, Lord over our lives, shouldn’t we trust Him?
Trusting, waiting and believing by blind faith when you cannot see is so much easier said than done. Look at Sarah and Abraham; look at Noah building the ark (in a desert for years without rain); look at David, who was a little shepherd boy who faced a giant man who could easily have killed him. Many people who stand out in the Bible were not normal bystanders. If you have to wait, take it as an honor and a compliment because God can trust you to wait on His perfect timing to meet “The One.”
God had your life planned out before you were even born, and He wrote each day in His book (Psalm 139). When we trust in Him like a child trusts their Father, He can give us more to entrust (get it EN-TRUST) us with. When we act like brats, complain, refuse to surrender and doubt His goodness, we further delay His good blessings. God has BETTER in store for you than you even have for yourself. Do you believe this, PI Girls?
Do you know how valuable, special, precious, beautiful and set apart you are for God’s glory? God loves you so much that He sent Jesus (His son) to die on the cross for your sin so that you would not be separated from him in darkness. Yeshua (Jesus Christ, the messiah) is light and has come into the world to save His bride as a bridegroom. Can you allow Jesus into your heart first to take up residence with the Holy Spirit so you can be reunited with your Heavenly Father?
Once our eternal priorities are in order, we can then receive earthly blessings. I know this is not easy, especially with the recent royal wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle (the Duke and Duchess of Sussex). It’s not easy when we grow up watching the fairy-tale stories of Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and Snow White. We expect this prince to come on a white horse and save us, but guess what? Jesus Christ of Nazareth is coming on a white horse (Revelation 19:11) to rapture His bride one day (the church), and He desires that your heart is with him so you will be ready like a bride prepares herself in dress.
Let us clothe ourselves in humility, patience, kindness, righteousness and with goodness until our eternal bridegroom returns. Let us have the oil (anointing of the word on the fire of our hearts) like the wise virgins have for the wedding supper of the lamb. Let us read the word, fill our souls with truth and be prepared to pour out to other empty vessels so we can share the good news of salvation with the world.
Then, and only then, when we are not distracted and sidetracked by the cares and riches of this world, can we really accept the man of Christ that the Lord has for us. Can you release the urge of idol worship in the area of wanting something so much that you end up desiring it more than God? Let us lay it all down on the altar. Let us lay down our Isaacs (future husbands) like Abraham did with his awaited son (being the picture of Jesus and God the Father laying down his promised son).
PI Girls, do you sometimes catch yourself in comparison or covetousness with marriage or family? Comment below and let me know how I can pray for you! God bless you! Jesus loves you so much.