“Do I Like Him or Just the Idea of Having a Boyfriend?”
Written by Ask Olivia | March 13, 2014
“So my problem is that I’m not sure if I like this guy. While it may sound silly, I’m confused as to whether I like him, or the idea of having a boyfriend. He is two years older than me and so cute. I love talking to him and want to whenever I can. However, I also view him as an ‘older brother’ figure in my life. I’m confused. Do I like him? Do I not? I just don’t know.”
Crushes can be SO confusing…you’re definitely not the first girl to have had these feelings! But the fact that you’re asking whether or not you like him is a pretty good indication that you don’t–at least, not in that way. I mean, if you like someone, you’ll know, right? Also, you’re wondering whether your feelings are being prompted by the romantic idea of having a boyfriend…oh, and that he’s “so cute.” This is definitely a combination of emotions that could lead to rash decisions!
When you decide to date someone, you should be sure of a few things:
- You’re ready to date.
- You like each other.
- He meets the criteria that you’re looking for in a husband.
You know that you love talking to him and that you view him as an older brother figure. So why not just leave it at that? Why complicate things? I mean, what if you ask him out and he only sees you as a “little sister”? Would he feel uncomfortable hanging out with you? It seems as if your relationship is great as it is.
Here’s what I think you should do…and what you shouldn’t do.
- Don’t reveal your feelings to him, since you’re not even sure that you like him or even that he’s the right person for you.
- Don’t try to overanalyze the relationship. It sounds like it is a brother/sister relationship. And if you’re happy with the way things are, you could risk the relationship if you try to change it.
- Enjoy the relationship as it is, without any expectations. Maybe God brought him into your life for that brother/sister relationship. Maybe that’s what you need right now. So thank God for that blessing.
- Let your confused emotions be a great indication that you may not be ready to date. Take time to learn about yourself, what you enjoy doing, what’s important to you and so on. You don’t want to enter any relationship until you are confident about who you are.
- Don’t get lost in a guy’s looks! It can blind you from seeing his heart.
- Don’t get caught up in the fantasy of having a boyfriend. Seriously! When the time comes and you’re ready, God will open that door!
Good luck and God bless!
Need some advice? Ask your relationship questions in the Ask Olivia Girl Talk forum or in the comments below and I might answer them in a future article!