Taylor Swift’s music video for her new song “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” is finally out! Have you seen it?
If you’re a fan of Swift’s, you may know that, like this song, many of her previous songs were inspired by ex-boyfriends. For example, “Picture to Burn” was inspired by an unnamed ex, “Forever & Always” was written about Joe Jonas and “Dear John” was written about John Mayer. It’s not yet been revealed who this new song is about, but for such a young woman, Swift’s accumulated a pretty extensive collection of ex-boyfriends
And now she’s seeing Conor Kennedy.
For those ready to accuse me of judging Swift, this isn’t a post about Swift herself, but rather one that’s inspired by her dating record and follow-up songs. She usually has short relationships and they don’t tend to end well–many of the ex-boyfriend-inspired songs reflect negatively on the relationship.
My question is whether continuous dating is smart. I understand many people believe that dating is beneficial because you get an idea of what you want and don’t want in a partner. But if you know yourself, you don’t need to date to get that information. In fact, dating may negatively affect your ultimate relationship–your marriage.
Additionally, I can’t help but wonder if Swift’s songs are an indication that jumping into relationships are unwise. Should we use her as an example for why girls shouldn’t date, but rather, should court boys? And since girls shouldn’t be thinking about marriage so early in life, should they then not even be thinking about courting until later?
I recognize that many young girls feel they need a boyfriend. Maybe they’re lonely without one or feel left out because all their friends have one. But what the world dictates is seldom what Christ desires. And He is who we should be pleasing.
I believe if Swift waited for God to introduce her to her spouse, she would likely save herself a lot of heartache. If she focused on herself and being a follower of Christ, she would have more to offer her future spouse. But since she’s dated so much, and with guys who were not meant for her, I wonder if she’s set herself up to be hurt. And because of that hurt, she’s growing somewhat cynical.
Here’s a question to ponder. When Swift does eventually meet and marry a man, will she be afraid to trust because of past hurt? And will she ultimately create doubt in a relationship that would have been perfect had she remained untainted by disappointment and betrayal?
I believe that Swift’s dating career is a great example of why courting is smarter than dating.
Ladies, you are all amazing and you all deserve the best. Your future spouses also deserve the best. So I recommend you don’t date.
Focus on you and your walk with Christ, and when the time comes, God will present you with opportunity to court. It is possible. A great example is one of my role models, Tim Tebow. He doesn’t date. In fact, he keeps his mind off girls because his time for courting hasn’t come. Instead, he’s focused on his career and his walk with Christ.
What do you think? Should girls forego dating altogether and wait until it’s time to court?