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    Does “Purity” Only Refer to Sex?

    Teenagers these days can’t seem to keep their hands off the opposite gender for more than a second…

    And I want to say that this generation of teenagers (and yes, even CHRISTIAN teenagers) have it all wrong.

    Most of the time, when youth leaders talk about purity, its ONLY about sex. So teens think kissing, etc. is totally okay, and as long as they’re not having sex, they’re TOTALLY pure. Most of the time, when youth leaders talk about boyfriends, they ONLY say that he has to be a Christian.

    I’m here to say they have it wrong.

    Yes, purity can consist of not having sex before marriage, but it’s also saving yourself for your husband in SO MANY other ways. Being pure for your husband is also restraining yourself from ANY sensual relationship (and by sensual I mean not just friendship) and focusing TOTALLY on Jesus so that when you meet your future husband, you have done your best to be the best person you can be–clean before God and seeking Him instead of messing around with guys.

    Song of Solomon is a collection of love letters between an adoring couple and their friends, the onlookers. It shows real, dedicated love. And it also gives some advice to young people from those who have experienced love.

    Their advice? “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires”(SOS 8:4). You could also put it this way: “Do not seek out love, but let it come to you when it wants to.” Quick reminder: God is love (1 John 4:8). That being said, you could also put it this way: “Do not seek out love, but let God give it to you when He wants to.”

    Let’s face it: When we have a boyfriend or crush, who do we think about more? Who do we think about when we look in the mirror to examine the way that we’ve dressed? Who do we talk to more? (P.S., texts are included…) I don’t think I have to answer that for you.

    If we are getting into relationships at our age (10-20), we are no longer focusing on Jesus as the center of our lives. We should be SO passionate about simply ADORING our King that we won’t consider relationships because they take up the attention that Jesus should have!

    Written by PI girl, Faith

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    98 COMMENTS

    1. my ant she made a promis to not kiss anyone uless that was the one god gave her and she kep to her word and her first kiss was when my uncle chris perposed to her. Also he asked my grand parent if he could perpose to her. Sweat right. I think i am going to be like my ant and wait for god to give me the right one. 🙂

    2. In the Bible it says that it is good for a man not to touch a woman… also to flee youthful lusts… don’t give into thoughts of young men, it will only lead to sin. God thinks of sin as anything we think, say or do!! He hears every thought we have and is not too pleased either.

    3. I believe, that if you think lustfully or dress immodestly then you are losing some of your heart. I have never kissed anyone, I wish I could say that I never got emotionally involved with guys but I would be lying. I think that if you can wait (doesn’t have to be till your wedding day) to kiss, then that’s an accomplishment. On the other hand I think you should wait to have sex till your married. nuf’ said 😉

    4. I have a purity ring, i’ve had it for almost a year now…and my mother made me read this book called “Waiting for Prince Charming”, and it was a story about a princess who had to get married. this prince who was full of himself wanted to marry her right away, but she said no, because she knew he wasn’t the right one. she waited…and waited, and WAITED and finally, her TRUE prince charming came 😀

      • I think that depending on your age (high school +) it is okay and depending on the place. For instance, kissing on your bed with your door shut is NOT okay, but kissing goodbye on your doorstep after a date is okay. Just make sure you both have set limits and that you stick to them.

    5. I really don’t think this is true. I’m 15 and have a boyfriend.. and not only did we both pray and pray and pray beforehand to make sure it was okay, we’re still keeping God at the center of our relationship. I get that I’m probably the exception to the rule, but “If we are getting into relationships at our age (10-20), we are no longer focusing on Jesus as the center of our lives” IS legitimately a false statement.

    6. Does holding hands count as being pure? And like friendly hugs? But not all the guys but the guy that you really love, and loves you back, he’s also christian and he respects that you cant kiss and stuff, but what about holding hands? I want your opinion ppl….. thnx 🙂

    7. Does holding hands count as being pure? And like friendly hugs? But not all the guys but the guy that you really love, and loves you back, he’s also christian and he respects that you cant kiss and stuff, but what about holding hands? I want your opinion ppl….. thnx

    8. This is absolutely ridiculous. I am 18 years old and perfectly capable of handling myself within a relationship. I would never date someone that I had no intention of marrying. I plan on allowing my children to date when they turn 16. Any earlier is pointless, but 20?! My parents were married by then. My boyfriend has actually been what’s influenced my relationship with Christ to become stronger.

    9. Okay, I know this was posted forever ago, but hey. I, personally, think kissing before marriage is okay. Not making out, not really passionate or anything. Just a kiss. As long as you know the person well (like, you were good friends before you started, or you’ve been dating for a comfortable amount of time), then kissing is okay, in my opinion. I wouldn’t go any further than that until marriage, though.

    10. Look, this article is so old, but I have to comment. I personally think that it may be hard to have a relationship without any intimacy at all. A good compromise would be to just set the boundary at kissing and hugging.

      Also, I think having a relationship only when you’re twenty-one or above is ridiculous. Having a relationship below twenty doesn’t mean all of a sudden, Jesus is not the focus. Besides, people who can’t put Him in the center at age twenty (and below) still may not do so above this age. Even people get married at nineteen or twenty!

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    We here at Project Inspired want to guide and inspire teen girls to be true to themselves and to God. We want to show young girls how to be people of value and confidence – how to be your own best selves – through leading a Christian life. Who are we? We're a team of girls, like you. We edit the site, we post to social media, we hang out in the chat rooms and forums. We talk with you, we listen to you, and we love you!

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