I’m not married. Also, I just ate Doritos in my bed, and no one could tell me not to.
Before we get into all the other reasons singleness is awesome, I’ll be honest: Singleness hasn’t always been awesome. At my lowest moments, I’ve had a deep longing for a guy to see and know me, while my insecurities played on repeat through my mind: You’re weak, you’ve gained weight, your skin looks weird, you shouldn’t have said that, you’ll never change…. At the worst times, my playlist convinces me that I am unlovable.
The low moments have pushed me to explore contentment and embrace the truth that contentment isn’t about stifling my desires and insecurities, or pretending that I’m okay. God never asks us to be dishonest about how we feel. Contentment comes from embracing the truth that God knows the longings of my heart, He loves me deeply just as I am and He is never late. If you’re in a season of singleness, embrace it. God is working in you. I hope these words from me and my single friends provide perspective and encouragement as you consider your desires both now and for the future.
Being single is awesome, because…
- You have time and space to figure out who you are. My friend Brittani said, “I’ve been able to do spiritual direction and go to a marriage and family therapist for over four years now to understand myself more. I know who I am as a daughter of God, and I know how I function. I will be a better wife and mom one day because I have many, many tools for how to be in relationship with people.”
- You get to develop realistic expectations. It’s easy to think our problems will disappear when we fall in love. In the past ten years, I’ve stopped thinking of guys as romantic archetypes whose purpose is to solve my problems. Guys are incredible—dynamic, goofy, fun, interesting. Their purpose goes far beyond fixing our problems, and our purpose goes far beyond fixing theirs. Use this time to learn to respect them as whole, real people, as they should respect you.
- You get to travel and be spontaneous. You can be spontaneous and travel with a spouse, but your choices look different when you have to negotiate your plans with someone else. My single friend Trevor has visited 81 countries, and I think he’s currently in South America, but with a record like that, he could be anywhere. My single friend Amy was too busy to respond, because she’s leaving for South Sudan on Saturday. Enough said.
- You get to grow in your knowledge of God’s character. Single or married, your spiritual life will always be intimately yours and God’s. The experiences I had in my twenties were pivotal in shaping my trust in Him. I got to take a lot more risks, because I didn’t have to worry about the well-being of another person. I traveled to India multiple times to work with women who were victims of sex trafficking. I wouldn’t have been able to throw myself as fully into my work if I’d had a husband waiting for me to come home. I witnessed Christ’s immense love and restoration in these women’s lives. His faithfulness to them renewed my gratitude to serve a God who sees and knows the desires of my heart.
What are some other ways singleness is awesome?