Faith Saver: What Christian Guys Think About Modesty

    Ladies, modesty plays a major part in our Christian lives. But it’s easy to fall into fashion trends, and often without thought for whether our choices go against Christian teaching. Often, we justify immodesty by arguing that it could be worse, or that certain degrees of immodesty is okay because a Christian friend dresses the same way, or maybe we don’t strive for modesty at all because we feel that it’s the guy’s responsibility to avoid the sin of lust.

    Last year I wrote the post What Do Christian Guys Really Think About Sexual Purity?, which offered insight into how boys think and what they actually thought about modesty. Ladies, if you knew your brother in Christ was struggling on a daily basis, would you help him out? Or would you say too bad, it’s his problem?

    The following clip is a sermon based on young Christian men’s struggles with immodesty. It’s pretty eye-opening and may even surprise you. And for Christian teens who strive for modesty, I pray it strengthens your faith and your desire to stay modest in your fashion.

    If they had any idea what went through guys’ minds, it would probably vastly change the way they dress.

    Ladies, clothes shopping for a Christian girl is not just difficult because every item has to be scrutinized for modesty, but also because modest selections are few and far between in our culture.

    But Christian girls must glorify God in everything that they say and do, which includes how they dress. So don’t despair, girls…your desire to please our Lord God exceeds fashion. And the good news is that you can still find modest and pretty outfits–just check out our weekly Modest Is Hottest posts for design ideas!

    Girls, did this sermon surprise you? Do you you feel it’s your responsibility as a Christian to be modest? Do you feel alone in your desire to dress modestly, or does it not bother you? 

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    T.M. Gaouette
    T.M. Gaouette is a freelance writer, ghostwriter, blogger and fiction novelist. She was born in Africa, brought up in London and is now living in New England with her husband and four children. Devoted to Him, Gaouette is dedicated to glorifying God through her stories for teens and young adults. T.M. Gaouette is the author of "The Destiny of Sunshine Ranch" and "Freeing Tanner Rose," Christian novels for teens and young adults. She's currently working on completing her upcoming novel -visit for more on her Christian fiction work. Connect with her on and .


    1. This is great. Seriously, but no one ever talks about ladies who struggle with lust. What about shirtless men walking around campus? Or tight pants that draw attention to their area? Lust is a struggle for both genders and I feel awful when female lust is not acknowledged.

    2. It’s kind of funny, my co-op did a lesson on this not too long ago xD He even said that exact thing.
      The only thing that ticks me off is this: what about the girls? They never MENTION (in my co-op or the video) the female lusts! Honestly, it’s pretty easy for us girls, too. Like if the guy rolls his oxford sleeves up and shows off his strong fore-arms. That’s really attractive in the physical way. Just saying, it’s not right not to talk about the woman’s point of view on lust temptation.

        • I agree we can’t force guys to wear long sleeved shirts and their clothes are more modest. But are you saying that women are responsible for how they dress as to be the best sister they can be for their brothers, but men don’t have to be responsible for being the best brothers they can be for their sisters.

        • I think for guys they should NOT be wearing skinny jeans or go walking around shirtless, but for me, my struggle with lust has been mostly my own fault. I put junk in front of my eyes when I watch TV. And one of the struggles I fight daily is modesty. I feel like I am not noticed at all unless I wear something a little tight.
          I believe guys struggle a lot more with lust than we may even know and it is SO important that we do our part to help them out. If you see a brother dressing inappropriately, tell him! Let him know that he is slipping up. That is our call.

    3. I love this video. It makes me rethink the ways that I dress daily and I couldn’t be more grateful to the guys who turn to God amidst their struggle. This convicts me, and reminds me of my duty I have to the Lord and my brothers in Christ. Thanks for posting this video!

    4. This was so beautiful, and deep. So blessed to be able to have friendships with my brothers. At the end, it’s the selfless act of glorifying God and serving our brothers and as well sisters in Christ!

    5. I posted the following comment earlier but I think that it applies also to this post so I’d like to re-share my thoughts. 🙂

      I don’t think we should be held accountable for our brother’s sins, even just a little.

      Matthew 5:30

      30 And if your right hand causes you to stumble,(A) cut it off and throw it away.
      It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

      That verse says to me that if you commit a sin then YOU are responsible and should cut it off.
      As for the verse that has been brought up many times before and in the above post, I don’t believe it is really read as a full chapter. Yes, that verse says we should not cause our brothers to stumble but previous it specifies that those “brothers” are people who were ignorant, who did not know that God said it was okay for people to eat sacrificed animals. Verse 7 just before says “But not everyone knows this. Some people are still so accustomed to idols that when they eat such food they think of it as having been sacrificed to an idol, and since their conscience is weak, it is defiled.” My point then is that women should not be blamed because men are not unknowing like the people in Romans 14. Christian men have the Bible just as we do and were created with no less ability to turn away from sin.

      Anyways… just wanted to throw that out there. I know a lot of debate goes on about these posts but I think it something important for us to talk about because it involves our views of human beings- of each other.

      • @Sheilla Kiwi, thanks for the question. It’s important to know that boys are accountable for the sin of lust, but girls are also held accountable for causing the sin of lust. “So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God. Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister. I am convinced, being fully persuaded in the Lord Jesus, that nothing is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for that person it is unclean. If your brother or sister is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy someone for whom Christ died.(Romans 14:12-15)

        • Amen, ma’am.
          I was looking for that verse the other day, but couldn’t remember where it was. 🙂

        • To me, that says then that you believe the female body is unclean. That is how you are interpreting that Scripture.
          God created women…so then do you believe God created a cause of sin?

          Women are NOT the CAUSE of lust. Yes, at times all of us offer up temptation but the sin originates from the heart of the individual who is sinning.

          And again I would point out that the verses you quoted are taken from the same chapter and so still are held under the topic of people who are ignorant being stumbled. Do you believe men are ignorant?

      • So I do have a correction to make. It was not Romans 14 that I was quoting… I was pulling from 1 Corinthians for a reason that is kind of long to explain. So the verse…
        “But not everyone knows this. Some people are still so accustomed to idols that when they eat such food they think of it as having been sacrificed to an idol, and since their conscience is weak, it is defiled.”
        …that I posted earlier is not in Romans 14 and so is not directly connected with the verses 12-15 that you posted. Sorry about that!

        For now I don’t have an immediate response to Romans 14:12-15 but I will think on it. But the first part of my previous comment still stands. 🙂

        • The Bible says we are born INTO sin. We are created in the image of God, but we are sinners, we can cause temptations. Yet we can also minimize the temptation by dressing modestly. Men can minimize it as well through prayer etc.

        • @blonde4god
          We cannot cause temptations though we can be a temptation. Temptation is not a problem unless you have a desire for something. A girl modestly or immodestly dressed would not be a temptation for a guy who did not desire women in a lustful way.
          Facebook is not an unhealthy temptation in and of itself but can be an unhealthy temptation if that is what you desire in your heart.
          Cookies are not bad… only if you have a desire in your heart to eat a ton of them and eat them in an unhealthy way.
          See where this is going?

    6. I’m so glad you all posted this. So many people on here talk about how modesty doesn’t really matter as long as you’re rocking or body and feel comfortable with it… but it’s so not true. We’re called to love and help our Christian brothers 🙂

    7. This might be a little off topic, but…I don’t know. There’s something that bothers me about the modesty debate. I think that whatever we do for God will naturally benefit others anyway. I guess I’m annoyed by the “rules” that have accompanied what it means to dress modestly. Skirts and shorts can’t be too many inches away from the knee. No spaghetti strap tank tops or strapless dresses. Shirts can’t be too far from the collar bone. It’s so easy to be weighed down by legalism. For me, I would never dress in a way that would cause anyone to lust after me or feel uncomfortable. I don’t want to be disrespected nor would I want to disrespect anyone else. There are so many different standards of modesty, and I can’t know what makes every individual guy stumble. So I believe a modest heart will dress in a manner that will please God, not necessarily what will please everyone else. Don’t get me wrong, I support modesty wholeheartedly. Just not “rules”.

      Someone said that women are not the cause of lust, and I agree. Our bodies are created in the image of God, not to be dirty or shameful. Why are men not held to this same standard? It’s something worth looking in to. However, thank you for sharing. It’s nice to know that modesty is appreciated.

    8. So happy to see that so many of my Christian sisters are FINALLY questioning the basis of the “modesty debate”.

      Don’t get me wrong, I loved the video, it was touching, yadda yadda yadda. But telling girls that they are made in the image of God, and in the same breath telling them that they are single-handedly responsible for every lustful thought that passes through a man’s mind is spiritually, biblically, and intellectually dishonest.

      The concept of modesty is not, I repeat: IS NOT FOR MEN. It is to honor God and to honor ourselves; mind, body, heart, and soul! The second you deviate from that thought, is the second you begin to drown in a big sea of legalism and unattainable standards.

    9. Major conviction right there! Growing up I was always overweight, but a couple years ago I had to drastically change my diet because of health issues. With changing my diet I have lost substantial amount of weight in a very healthy way, and I feel great! So now I’m at the proper weight for my height. But with that, I’m finding I actually look pretty good and I can pull off the slimmer shirts and shorter skirts that I was always afraid to try on let alone wear in public! lol
      Where’s the balance between dressing modestly and wanting to wear clothes that may be more or less border line immodest?

      • For me i find that if i’m aiming to just get away with as much as possible, or get as close as i can to the “line” without crossing it, then i’m not dedicated to what i’m trying to do. It’s so easy to just keep going further and further, or in this case showing more and more skin/wearing tighter and tighter clothes. Ask God to help you sort out your desires and what’s in your heart, he always helps. i find it really hard to dress modestly. I’ve just realised that at the moment i’m not doing so well. i’m going to get changed as soon as i go to my room 😛

    10. I really like this video. Most girls don’t see that modesty is hot. I didn’t really see it. I am a pastor’s daughter, so I have always dressed modestly and I’ll admit I hate it sometimes. I have tons of friends who are guys but I never got the feeling that they liked me. I thought it was because I dressed so much more conservatory than those around me. I wanted to dress more immodestly to get someone to like me who was actually decent. I am going to college in about a year and I don’t want to become one of those girls that wears almost nothing. But I want guys to like me for me, not what I wear.

    11. I like this, but it does not really give a definition of modesty, like what bothers guys, etc. So here is this link. This is a survey that Christian guys took where there was a statement and they would click disagree, strongly disagree, neutral, agree, or strongly agree. They also could leave comments explaining their answer, the comments include their age range as well. So for anybody who is interested in Christian guys definition of modesty here it is.

    12. This is so, SO amazing. Every single young woman needs to hear it. It almost brought me to tears in the acknowledgement of how I have sometimes hurt my brothers walk with Christ. Lately, I’ve realized in myself that I’ve become a little loose with my dress once again. This video has inspired me to remember what it means for a guy when I dress immodestly! Thank you so much for posting this!

    13. AMEN! Almost made me cry! 🙂
      We should let men come to love us because of our love for God, not because we blend in with what society tells us is right. Modesty is a must. I have met so many great guys who are attracted to girls not by their clothing, but by their personality, and their passion for Christ.

    14. I love this! I think that although both genders struggle (and I totally understand how some of you ladies wish there was one about how we struggle, I feel like it’s just important that we all take in what is being said here. I think about this a lot and I always feel like I could be doing more to help out the guys and to just make being around me a safer place for their hearts and I think that this gives me more insight to why it is so important and why it is such a struggle to them. Definately going to be thinking about this more this summer when I’m going out with friends.

    15. Great video! I have a question what if you are dressing modest and a man has lust are you still accountable for his sin? Because in today’s times men lust after anything & I do dress modest.

      • I know you were probably asking the author of the post but I thought I would throw in my opinion as well. Hope you don’t mind. 🙂
        I would say no, you are not accountable for his sin. And I would also say that I would hope you don’t always expect men to lust all the time…they have a choice you know and were not created to be lust machines.
        You are accountable for yourself if you dress immodestly or modestly…are you honoring yourself? What are your motivations? etc…

    16. I’ve never really thought about my outfits like this. But after seeing and hearing this message, I understand that I really need to be careful the way i dress and act in public. Not only because I should be a modest young lady, but also because I am a young woman in Christ and I should follow the Lord’s way. Thank you for posting this. It really has helped to open my eyes.

    17. I read some comments below that talked about women who struggle with lust, and no one seems to talk about it. This is true, but another truth is, is that woman are truly beautiful creatures. We have “more tempting parts” (ex: chest, butt, stomach) then men do, and immodesty in men is harder to define and point out then in women. Yes, woman struggle, but in my opinion, the men struggle a great deal because we have so many beautiful things about our body, and it tends to be harder for us to cover up and hide them since we have so many. Women have more of a tendency to create lustful thoughts then men do. In my opinion 🙂

      • You aren’t tempted by men’s chest, butts, or stomach? I think that men are beautiful creatures too. Yes, modesty is harder to define in men and yes it does tend to be harder for women to cover up mostly because of the clothes that are made for us, but I think men have a lot of beautiful parts of their bodies too and women struggling with lust should be addressed. It is something that is pushed to the side and shouldn’t be because women do struggle with it.

    18. Wow. Is this a wake up call or what? I dress very modestly but I have never thought of it from these perspectives before! Lets face it, guys are lustful. Not all and some more than others, but if we aren’t part of the solution, we are part of the problem. I’m sure many of you, as well as me, have walked through your school hallway during passing period hear some guy make a comment to his friend that someone’s butt looks cute in that pencil skirt or that the tight fitted shirt they are wearing fits their body well or shows cleavage. Your first instinct is to think what a rude inconsiderate jerk! Think again. If she were wearing something modest if her shirt wasn’t as tight or didn’t show cleavage, if her skirt was a little bit longer and a little less tighter, maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t have said it.

      • This video brought tears to my eyes. I never thought much about how an immodest girl can make a brother in Christ struggle. I am happy to dress modestly and help my brothers overcome this. I know from experience that girls struggle with lust too and that the topic should be brought up and not put aside.

    19. Woah, this was so powerful. Thank God for this. Hearing the young man’s thoughts on the way girls dress, and the way it impacts their behaviour really touched me. It made me realise how much power lies in our hands to make life a little easier for our brothers in Christ. It convicted me.

    20. This article has literally changed my life. Since I read it about a week ago, it opened my eyes to what guys think when I choose what to wear on purpose to get their attention. It’s just not fair to them. So, I’ve been dressing more modestly all week: no skinny jean or tight/low-cut shirts. It has actually helped me feel more comfortable talking to guys and I just don’t really care if my clothing or body looks attractive. It’s my personality that matters!

      Doing this has also helped me to control my own thoughts towards guys everyday. I feel less stressed and happier, too! 🙂

    21. Oh, this article gave me chills all right, but not in a good way. This article is so unbelievably damaging and wrong. Let me explain: basically, you are normalizing the idea that women’s bodies are for men to see and to objectify, and that’s okay. You’re saying it’s our job as a woman to dress differently FOR A MAN because WE DON’T WANT HIM TO “STUMBLE” AND RUIN HIS LIFE BECAUSE OF OUR CLOTHING CHOICES. Does this seem weird to you? it should. The problem here is that this is a huge issue in rape culture, which normalizes the “she was asking for it” and “clothing is consent” ideas. Girls, please wear whatever you want to–and if that’s modest clothing, by all means, go for it. I’m definitely not at all against modest clothing. I’m against the idea of saying it’s okay and normal to just assume men will objectify you and have “unholy thought” because of what you wear. That’s his job to take care of, and that’s his problems. It is not yours. Clothing is neither consent nor an invitation. If boys don’t understand that, that’s an entire other issue they need to work out for themselves.

        • Totally Agree. I understand the points made in the video but its definitely leaves the concept that guys can’t be accountable for they’re own actions. Which is false, by the way

      • Your comment sums up perfectly what I was thinking as I listened to this video. For real, though. And to be quite frank, modesty is taken out of context from the Bible and twisted just like so many other things. The Bible doesn’t speak of modesty in regards to clothing, it teaches about spiritual modesty and that of the mind.

        My mom and her side of the family are very conservative (which is fine), but as a result I feel that I’ve been lied to and scared into being “modest” because of what it might do to the men I’m around. Growing up it was constantly, “You can’t wear that tank top because it has spaghetti straps and your brothers are home”, or “Why don’t you wear shorts over your one piece bathing suit? It’s more modest and there will be lots of boys at the pool.”

        I don’t regret the household that I grew up in, and I don’t blame my mother for teaching me what was taught to her, but it’s 2015. This misinterpretation has to stop, if for nothing else than the diminishing of the ever present rape culture that has this country in a death grip.

    22. This was so powerful and thank you God for leading me to this. I struggle with not being modest a lot, but never realized it. I definitely will be putting more thought into the clothes I purchase and wear and how I wear them. Society goes against the Bible in so many ways, it is hard to find clothes today that will not cause battle.

    23. Wow this was amazing and so true. I new that guys didn’t like it that much but I never realized the significance of the effect that we have on guys from what we wear. I will definitely be putting more thought into what I am buying and wearing from now on. I would hate to put a guy through that kind of temptation. I recently got a purity ring and made the commitment to save myself for my husband. But I have come to realize that a commitment to stay pure does not only mean sexually but also in other ways such as modesty. We should not be flaunting around in clothes that do not cover up for everyone to see. The Bible says our bodies are a temple and we are to respect it. This video was a great eye opener for me and I’m thankful that you posted it, as I have come to know more and understand better the full commitment of purity.

    24. Definitely something I never thought of so deeply. I am going to a conference tomorrow for a few days and it really made me think about what I had in my package and what guys would think. Honestly sometimes I wear things not with the best intention, but now this really hit me. And even though yes, the same goes both ways, but why are we focusing on this? If some girls oppose this make your voice be heard as well! Make a video or something, let the brothers know how we feel about modesty by their part too. I have to help the brothers against their battle with temptation anyway I can. And as a child of God I believe it is my duty too to help them have an easier way to turn down temptation. And also (sorry for making this long) lets think of modesty not as somethig to just help brothers or complain about having to change, it should be because we know that is what God expects of us since we only care to please him, no? Thank you so much for this!

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