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    First Move Roundtable: Focus on Friendship First

    Scott Erickson

    Last night my wife and I were up half the night taking care of our puking kids. It was a lot of cleaning bedsheets and pillowcases. And then a restful evening of being kicked in the back by my three-year-old as both kids crammed into our bed with us. This is what eight years of marriage looks like for me. And there is no other person that I would want to do this with than my best friend…my wife.

    When thinking about the question “Can a girl make the first move?” my immediate thought is “Move to do what?” I mean, what’s your end game? My guess is that most of you who are reading this have the goal of having a healthy marriage with someone one day. There is the joy of love to experience in that, yes…but there are also a lot of mundane and even gross responsibilities that you are going to have to share together. And for that, I can tell you, you want to have a friend in that place.

    So, speaking to you who desire that, making the “first move” is really the beginning stages of building a friendship. This is the way all long-term decisions are made. Imagine what you hope something looks like down the road, and start making choices now based on that future hope. It’s less of a practice of imagining their looks, habits and skills (those will always be a surprise), but more along the lines of what does healthy look like and how can I foster that from the get-go?

    For me, the idea of someone’s gender being an issue in pursuing that kind of future isn’t an issue at all. Anyone is allowed to say, “Hey, I think we could be great friends.” Then start fostering that work. Because in the end, it’s friendship that is mostly the treasure you were always hoping to find.

    Scott Erickson, artist and husband/father

     

    Speech-Bubbles MORE ON MAKING THE FIRST MOVE: Go back to the First Move Roundtable now!

     

    Team Project Inspired
    We here at Project Inspired want to guide and inspire teen girls to be true to themselves and to God. We want to show young girls how to be people of value and confidence – how to be your own best selves – through leading a Christian life. Who are we? We're a team of girls, like you. We edit the site, we post to social media, we hang out in the chat rooms and forums. We talk with you, we listen to you, and we love you!

    5 COMMENTS

    1. So.True. I love this!!

      This website actually gives real and godly advice for young women. I’ve looked at some other websites and it seems like they are trying to ruin a girl by saying “kiss him, and you’ll be on your way to world of rainbows and candy” but in reality it’s a set up for heartbreak. This site is saying take it slow and have godly intentions with every relationship you have. I love it 🙂

    2. i’ve always gravitated to being friends with girls,that’s just the way it’s been for me.I don’t think i’ll be friends with a guy and if i do it’ll be years and years from now.but thanks for writing this

    3. I really appreciate the time you took into writing this and sharing this with us! Coming from a married man’s perspective, your article is very useful. As I’ve transitioned into college, I’ve met so many new friends, and many of them are guys. It’s now that I realize that you can be friends with a guys without expecting anything more from the relationship. This doesn’t mean that neither one of you won’t ever like each other, but I definitely agree that a strong friendship should proceed any kinds of romantic relationship.

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