For the Single Girl in the Middle of Wedding Season
Written by Phylicia Masonheimer | June 19, 2017
Summer is here, and with it…wedding season! Whether you’re in a wedding or just attending, it can be a tough season when you’re single. It’s easy to compare lives, ages and relationships, wishing for something not yet here.
But rather than spend this time being sad or bitter, what if you lived this season with joy and strength? Because you can! Christ in you has the power to overcome every circumstance. As you walk with Him through those romantic receptions, remember these things.
There Is No Timeline for Marriage
No one—and I repeat, no one—has nailed down the perfect age to marry. Marriage will be difficult no matter when you enter it, and everyone has a unique journey leading them to the altar. Just because your friend gets married at 22 doesn’t make her story the same as yours. God may need to strengthen, teach and stretch you in singleness to prepare you for what your marriage will demand. You don’t know the future, so instead of trying to speed up the timeline, make the most of the years you have! Every moment you spend learning and growing is a moment you bring to your someday relationship.
Embracing the Joy of Others Is Selfless
Our emotions are not trustworthy. Emotions respond to circumstances; they aren’t even the real problem. So when you’re at a wedding and you feel jealousy crop up, acknowledge that this emotion is subject to your will, which is subject to the Spirit of Christ. You can sit right there at the reception table and pray: Lord, help me to sacrifice my desires for the sake of my friend. Strengthen me to love her and her story, to celebrate with her and to embrace her joy. God will answer that prayer, but you must step out in faith by actively rejecting your negative thoughts and emotions and choosing to trust His promises instead:
I will never leave You.
I bind up the brokenhearted.
My perfect love casts out fear.
Prepare to Fight Lies
The lies will come at you in this season: lies that you’re behind the times, that you’re undesirable or that you’ll never get married. Reject them! Walk by the Spirit, not by your thoughts. Memorize God’s Word as it speaks to your situation and speak that over yourself. Write the verse on the palm of your hand and look at it throughout the day. Be ready to fight the lies and allow Christ to be strong in you, giving the enemy no foothold in your heart.
Remember Your Purpose
Finally, remember that your purpose in this world is not to get married or raise a family—it’s to make disciples of the people in your community; to love God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength; and to glorify Him with your time on earth. Marriage might be part of that one day, but it’s not the end goal. If you’re struggling to release this into God’s hands, it’s probably an idol in your heart—the very thing that could be making your quiet times boring, your worship lackluster and your struggles with loneliness and sin much harder than necessary. Idolatry—paying more attention to a desire than to Christ—can be conquered. But you have to be willing to let the idol go and trust God when He says He’s enough.
When you walk in this trust, wedding season can’t fluster you. You’ll be free to celebrate with your friends because God is leading you toward your future, and you’re walking by His voice. You might be single in the middle of wedding season, but you are never, ever alone.