Reply To: Does God care?
Here’s the funny thing about women: we have been created to have relationships. That is the number one thing we desire. Whether it be our friends, our families, or a significant other, we want deep and lasting relationships. It’s how we were created. However, it is also part of the curse in Genesis 3. Our desire is to our husband, whether we have one or we want one. One of my favorite books, Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge, really opened my eyes as to why God has put in place and allowed the curse on mankind. In relation to the woman, she desires relationships. But that desire for relationship can only be fulfilled in the One who fills, God himself. Our desire for relationship is supposed to be the force that drives us back to God. If we could find fulfillment elsewhere, like in a husband or boyfriend, why would we need God.
I’m 19 and have not had a boyfriend yet. My goal in life is to become a wife and homeschool mother. But I also have faith that God will give me what I need. That might not be a husband or the fulfillment of my plans. He might have other uses for me in his mission field (I am currently studying to become a teacher if I am called to serve outside my home). He might have other plans for you too. In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul said it might be better if we don’t marry so that we can serve God better. Marriage is a time-commitment and hard work. The question is, are you ready to step out in faith and accept what He has for you? Will you serve Him where you are and let Him take care of you?
This doesn’t mean God doesn’t want you to get married! Not at all… But what is more important, God or a relationship? Is God first in your life? You mentioned that you hadn’t been reading your Bible lately. Start doing that. Every day. God’s Word is how he communicates to you. If you cut off your lines of communication, you won’t be left with much! Your relationship with God should take priority over anything else.
Fellowship is also really important. I know it’s hard when you are shy to go to places where you don’t know many people. That’s OK. Even if you just go and don’t talk to anyone, you are still putting yourself out there. Also, if you are going to a good church, there should be people there who will talk to you! If not, find a church (that preaches the true gospel of Jesus Christ, check what you’re hearing against the Bible!) that embraces you with open arms and loves you like Jesus does. There are some great Christian groups on most college campuses. Campus Crusade for Christ (Cru), Christian Challenge, and Navigators have an active presence at many campuses. Search the internet for Christian groups near you!
You’re also probably not the only shy one around. When you go someplace, look for the other person hanging out in the corner. Remember how you feel standing alone? They feel the exact same way.
No, it is not guaranteed that by seeking fellowship and “getting out” more you will find a prospective future husband. It is not guaranteed that you will even get married one day. What is guaranteed is that God is faithful. He knows the desires of your heart and as His child, those desires are very precious to Him. He knows what is best. Trust.