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Reply To: what should i do? Please help

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#110487

Maria
Member

Essentially, what Eurydice said.

This is one of those moments where you need to do the right thing instead of what your flesh feels like doing. The heart and the desires of the flesh are deceitful (Jeremiah 17:9; Ephesians 4:22) and lead us wrong. If you know for a fact that he’s taken, distance yourself from the situation—I would add not just physically, but also rid as much information as possible coming in through your eyes and ears about him, including your mind’s eye; so, don’t fantasize/day dream about him either, don’t talk about him. Submit every thought to Christ. Emotions are like that: don’t feed the flame, the flame goes out. What’s feeding these emotions is your consistent source of interaction or information about him. If you don’t see him, you won’t think of him; if you don’t think about him, the flame will go out.

I personally am asexual/celibate, but I tend to get too involved in the emotional problems of others and similarly distance myself away from them when it gets too much, re-focusing the object of my attention on Christ instead. The moments you can’t avoid him, instead of thinking “I like him” “I wish I were with him”, offer up a prayer for him and the person he’s with, wishing for everything to go well with them and for God’s will to be done in their lives. Basically, stop yourself from coveting by using that opportunity to bless another through prayer. It’s all about what you do with the thought/emotion when it enters your mind: seek God’s help with it, or linger on a desire that can never be fulfilled in a way that gratifies God? The latter won’t help and will only encourage you to pursue the sinful course even more. So instead, pray for that couple to stay together and be blessed the moment those butterflies come, in doing so getting the attention off of your emotions and onto the well-being of another. That’s denying yourself, real self-less love (agape).