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Christian Life

Girl to Girl Talk: Cliques in Church, Popularity and Being Jesus to a Hurting World

Every week, I go through the “Girl Talk” section of Project Inspired and look for those seeking advice and counsel. I want to help answer some questions you may have about living out your Christian life and walk of faith! We want PI to be a safe place where you can ask questions.

A PI Girl this week asked about the pressure to fit in, even in church. She mentioned mean girls and to avoid being mean to others; she also talked about being fake to fit in. Do you find that there are cliques or the pressure to be accepted in school, work or even youth group? Read the post here and join the chat.

This isn’t a good feeling or is not something you want to deal with. I pray God protects you from peer pressure, but humans will be humans, and unfortunately even in church there can be cliques or people can feel left out. I pray that you seek out those who look lonely or out of place. Let us be concerned with others over ourselves.


Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. (Philippians 2:4)

We are each other’s brothers and sisters in Christ and we need to keep our eyes out for those struggling. How easy it is to seek our own happiness and comfort, but what about those who are uncomfortable or feel like a misfit? We need to discuss this and we need to be Jesus to a hurting world. I hope and pray churches and youth groups realize this and address this, and let us be the change in our schools and work. We need to be the change as believers, amen?

If cliques and popularity contests happen in church, we have a LOT of work to do because this is really what Jesus fought for. Jesus came for the imperfect, the outcast, the sinner, the broken, the one who doesn’t look the part. We need to be the hands and feet of Christ and be loving brothers and sisters instead of walking in arrogance, pride and with an exclusive mindset.


When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?” On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” (Matthew 9:11-13)


This reminds me of many stories in the Gospel, from the woman caught in the act of adultery to the verse about wanting to sit in the “best” seats in church…we all need to be conscious of this, and of course no one is perfect, but let us be sensitive to people hurting around us, amen?

If you have felt left out, not just in youth group, but at school or elsewhere, you can probably guarantee that others have been either excluded around you, have possibly been bullied or have felt like they didn’t fit in.


Everything they do is done for people to see: They make their phylacteries wide and the tassels on their garments long; they love the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues; they love to be greeted with respect in the marketplaces and to be called “Rabbi” by others. But you are not to be called “Rabbi,” for you have one Teacher, and you are all brothers. And do not call anyone on earth “father,” for you have one Father, and he is in heaven. Nor are you to be called instructors, for you have one Instructor, the Messiah. The greatest among you will be your servant. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted. (Matthew 23:5-12)

PI Girls, instead of pointing out the cliques, being a part of them or even a victim of them, are you willing to help be the change by being Christ-like?

Comment below how I can pray for you! Love you all!

Image: Lightstock


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