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Love

Girl to Girl Talk: Does He Like Me?

Every week, I go through the “Girl Talk” section of Project Inspired and look for those seeking advice and counsel. I want to help answer some questions you may have about living out your Christian life and walk of faith! We want PI to be a safe place where you can ask questions.
This week, a PI Girl asked if the guy she likes also likes her back. From what she posted, it sounds like he flirts with her and is somewhat interested, but it seems like she is getting mixed messages.

I like a boy. I am friends with his friend, and he told me that the guy I like likes me, but then said that he doesn’t like me. The guy I like is always silly around me, smiles a lot at me and seems pleased if I sit next to him! Help me please! I need to know whether it is time to move on.”

Click here to read the full post.

I’m not sure how old you are—you probably aren’t ready for a serious relationship until you are at least 18, but that of course doesn’t stop people from dating. I would advise you to let the guy pursue YOU. God has an order to things in this world, and it is not right for a woman to chase a guy. I would recommend starting the relationship with a friendship.

Realize that if you are young and if you don’t know each other well enough yet, he may be shy or not sure if you like him, which is probably why his friend said he liked you and then said he didn’t. He may be interested, but you need to build a deeper friendship rather than just flirting. I want to be clear, though—yes, friendships can blossom into more, but usually when a guy likes a girl, he won’t be confused and will pursue.

Let the guy chase you, and he can step out and ask you out, which is what you deserve. You can have compassion in certain circumstances, but regardless, the beginning is his best foot forward. Don’t let a guy send you mixed messages, and put your foot down if he flirts with you but has no intention of actually pursing you with actions. You can keep it as a friendship, but until he mans up and asks you on a date, I would say don’t assume he likes you.

 

Tips for Knowing if He Likes You

1. Let him pursue you (Proverbs 18:22).

2. The beginning is his best foot forward: This is the start of something and usually a guy tries to whisk the girl away and tries to impress the girl he likes. If he isn’t doing that, it doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t like you, but actions definitely do speak louder than words.

3. Watch and pray: You will know a tree by its fruit. Does he play games with you and your heart? If so, then that is not the man of God (if he even is) that you would want to be with. Ouch, I know…but it is the TRUTH.

 

Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit. (Matthew 12:33)

 

4. Don’t compromise: Don’t let some fool mess with your heart and mind. If he is double minded, then God’s Word says he is unstable…so you want someone who is a leader, who is confident in Christ and can protect you and your purity. If he isn’t showing you the proper respect now, how will he in the future? Yes, you can pray for people, but don’t deceive yourself or waste time with someone who isn’t clear with his intentions (James 1:8).

5. He should not say one thing and do another: Don’t let someone confuse you with their insecurities or their mess. God is NOT the author of confusion, but Jesus is the Prince of peace. Jesus wants you to have a godly leader and Prince, and in the meantime as single women, we are married to the LORD. Stay away from the confusion because it leads to harm. Guard your heart, and when he decides he knows what he is doing, then you can choose if you like him, or if you date—that is your choice. I would advise to be cautious if he is even questioning liking you and sending you mixed signals…red flag.

 

For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints. (1 Corinthians 14:33)

All you need to say is simply “Yes” or “No”; anything beyond this comes from the evil one. (Matthew 5:37)

 

PI Girls, what would you advise this PI Girl in this situation? Comment below on how I can be praying for you!

If you would like to contact me, have any other questions or need prayer, message me on social media: @ChristiGiven.

Image: Lightstock | fotoman

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10 Comments

  1. Project Inspired

    Posted by Alexis0512 on May 28, 2016 at 15:56

    I totally agree with you, I’m almost 20 and persueing guys wasn’t the best decision I have made, until I understood what you said here. I have the same idea and feeling about it! Hope this can help the girls who are passing through this so epthey don’t make the same mistake cause most off the times you will end with a broken heart. Just leave it on God’s hands, he has the perfect plan for each of us.

  2. Kyleen1997

    Posted by Kyleen1997 on March 24, 2016 at 00:04

    Okay so I’m seeing a lot of people commenting saying they disagree with the fact that girls can pursue the guys is a 50/50 stance and that it’s okay to date before 18ish. I would like to throw in my opinion! So being 18, never been kissed or dated but watched people all over the place date and get their hearts broken over stuff. Most people who date in high school don’t marry that person. I know one couple, in my generation, who has dated since 8th grade and is stronger then ever with each other and Christ is engaged! With out dating, I’ve still had my heart broken so that’s what’s stopped me from dating. I just think there’s a level of maturity that a relationship requires. I think girls might be more ready around 16 but guy definetly aren’t ready until 18+ in my eyes. I also think guys should be the ones to pursue the girl! They should be asking for your phone number, snap, Instagram whatever! They should be contacting you first for the first few days/week. I think as a girl we tend to want to take over and “make it work” but all that does is make us look over baring. Let the guy be a man and pursue you! How else is he going to practice leading you in marriage if your trying to lead him?!? I think age is very important (connecting to maturity and probability) and that the guy should pursue you! After you both have figure out you like each other and he’s asked you out, then I think it’s okay to text him first and plan a date here and there! Become one while being godly! And most importantly keep God in the center of everything! He hold you in his hands and he knows the beginning to the end! Trust him!!!

  3. Project Inspired

    Posted by gmstgirl360 on February 7, 2016 at 15:35

    I need some help here. I have a huge crush on this boy. He doesn’t like me back though. Any ideas you might have to help would be really great because I’m going through a lot of heartache so responses soon would be best.

    In God’s Grace
    GraceMarie

  4. Warriorangel4god

    Posted by Warriorangel4god on January 18, 2016 at 10:44

    Ok so I just have to say that in my opinion it’s ok for the girl to pursue a boy but that’s just my opinion, I’m not allowed to date though so I really can’t say anything but I think that if the girl really likes the boy, then she should go for it, but it takes the boys effort too he has to prove to her that he likes her, if he never asks her out, tells her he likes her, then that’s a sign he just wants to be friends, and you should not just keep trying to make him like you, my advice is just wait the perfect boy will come along

  5. ParalyzedbytimeintheTARDIS

    Posted by ParalyzedbytimeintheTARDIS on January 16, 2016 at 11:34

    I think it’s ok for a girl to pursue a guy. I don’t want to just sit and wait for Prince Charming. I think there should be an equal amount of effort from the guy and the girl, but I guess it’s different for everyone. Great advice, though!

    • ArtiseyDisneyGal

      Posted by ArtiseyDisneyGal on January 19, 2016 at 20:14

      I agree with you fully. Something about this article didn’t sit right with me, so maybe a guy needs to pursue a girl but I believe the girl should also do her own work too. Keeping everything, like you said 50-50. A guy needs a bit of a push sometimes, and if he’s doing all the work that relationship won’t work.

    • Warriorangel4god

      Posted by Warriorangel4god on January 18, 2016 at 10:45

      I agree fully

  6. PrayerWarrior

    Posted by PrayerWarrior on January 14, 2016 at 16:11

    I love this article, however something stuck out to me that will definitely stick out to younger audiences, the age. I agree that dating should not just be dating and I don’t support dating younger than 16 {Sorry gals} because those hardly ever go anywhere, but I’d say 16 or 17. If you say 18, many girls see that as until not out of high-school {Which, I am all for, I’m 17 and never date or been kissed! DO not pity me, I’ve simply spent the time with Jesus that I would have with a guy ^.^}. However, I am not saying that age is a major thing, since I have had some friends that have gotten married very young {Like, 18!}. I just wanted to post this so other girls don’t freak out over the age thing {My sister did, hence the reason I am writing}.
    I completely agree with the article, and most of all, he needs to be a man who seeks God, because dating is meant to lead to courting which leads to marriage. So, I guess my real thing is it is not an age, but this article is beautifully written.

    Always remember, other PI girls, Boys Have cooties

  7. Project Inspired

    Posted by annadisch on January 14, 2016 at 06:12

    I can’t not comment on this…while I agree that it’s a good idea to let the guy pursue the girl, you can’t say it’s not right for a girl to pursue a guy! That’s an opinion, and you said it like a fact. I don’t agree with that statement, and I also can’t agree with a set age for when you can have a serious relationship. Sorry, but whether or not you’re right, which I personally don’t think you are, it’s seriously not ok to use language like that when you’re giving advice, or just talking in general.