“I like a boy. I am friends with his friend, and he told me that the guy I like likes me, but then said that he doesn’t like me. The guy I like is always silly around me, smiles a lot at me and seems pleased if I sit next to him! Help me please! I need to know whether it is time to move on.”
I’m not sure how old you are—you probably aren’t ready for a serious relationship until you are at least 18, but that of course doesn’t stop people from dating. I would advise you to let the guy pursue YOU. God has an order to things in this world, and it is not right for a woman to chase a guy. I would recommend starting the relationship with a friendship.
Realize that if you are young and if you don’t know each other well enough yet, he may be shy or not sure if you like him, which is probably why his friend said he liked you and then said he didn’t. He may be interested, but you need to build a deeper friendship rather than just flirting. I want to be clear, though—yes, friendships can blossom into more, but usually when a guy likes a girl, he won’t be confused and will pursue.
Let the guy chase you, and he can step out and ask you out, which is what you deserve. You can have compassion in certain circumstances, but regardless, the beginning is his best foot forward. Don’t let a guy send you mixed messages, and put your foot down if he flirts with you but has no intention of actually pursing you with actions. You can keep it as a friendship, but until he mans up and asks you on a date, I would say don’t assume he likes you.
Tips for Knowing if He Likes You
1. Let him pursue you (Proverbs 18:22).
2. The beginning is his best foot forward: This is the start of something and usually a guy tries to whisk the girl away and tries to impress the girl he likes. If he isn’t doing that, it doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t like you, but actions definitely do speak louder than words.
3. Watch and pray: You will know a tree by its fruit. Does he play games with you and your heart? If so, then that is not the man of God (if he even is) that you would want to be with. Ouch, I know…but it is the TRUTH.
Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit. (Matthew 12:33)
4. Don’t compromise: Don’t let some fool mess with your heart and mind. If he is double minded, then God’s Word says he is unstable…so you want someone who is a leader, who is confident in Christ and can protect you and your purity. If he isn’t showing you the proper respect now, how will he in the future? Yes, you can pray for people, but don’t deceive yourself or waste time with someone who isn’t clear with his intentions (James 1:8).
5. He should not say one thing and do another: Don’t let someone confuse you with their insecurities or their mess. God is NOT the author of confusion, but Jesus is the Prince of peace. Jesus wants you to have a godly leader and Prince, and in the meantime as single women, we are married to the LORD. Stay away from the confusion because it leads to harm. Guard your heart, and when he decides he knows what he is doing, then you can choose if you like him, or if you date—that is your choice. I would advise to be cautious if he is even questioning liking you and sending you mixed signals…red flag.
For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints. (1 Corinthians 14:33)
All you need to say is simply “Yes” or “No”; anything beyond this comes from the evil one. (Matthew 5:37)
PI Girls, what would you advise this PI Girl in this situation? Comment below on how I can be praying for you!
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