Girl to Girl Talk: Does It Matter Who I Am Friends With?
Written by Christi Given | February 16, 2015
Every week, I go through the “Girl Talk” section of Project Inspired and look for those seeking advice and counsel. I want to help answer some questions you may have about living out your Christian life and walk of faith! We want PI to be a safe place where you can ask questions.
Go to projectinspired.com/girl-talk to join the convo.
There is a famous quote that states “Show me your friends and I will show you your future.” This saying is also somewhat expressed in the Bible where it says “Don’t be deceived; bad company corrupts good morals” in 1 Corinthians 15:33.
Recently, a PI Girl asked us in the Girl Talk forum about friendships, and if her friends are genuinely for her (or are as interested in the friendship as she is). Should this matter, and does it even matter who you choose to hang out with? Here is an excerpt from her post:
“I have some really amazing friends. I can tell they really like me, but I don’t know why, and I think they might mean more to me than I do to them.”
Click here to read the full post.
It is sad but true to say that not all people will be truly and genuinely for you, your life and your dreams. Also, people change, seasons change and people can come and go in your life. This doesn’t mean don’t love or trust people, but it is a prompter to be selective in who you choose to befriend and hang out with. Also, remember you can’t please everyone and not everyone will be your real friends. People can be nice to you and especially to your face, but you will know if they are for you not by what they say, but by how they treat you.
I am praying that you PI Girls gain discernment as you grow in your faith because you need to see not only if people are loving you for you, but it’s also the best when you can find Christian, Godly girlfriends who can help you in your faith walk. I love that God brought me Christian friends finally, after years of not having strong Christian girls to hang with or to call and pray with. I had friends who believed in God, but not on the same level as I was spiritually regarding my relationship with Christ.
In high school, it was nice having the Christian Club and my youth group, but I still struggled with peer pressure and temptation just like anyone else. God is faithful, though. I prayed for Nicole, who was not very interested in God in high school and college, but eventually came to know Jesus and is now helping you PI Girls, too! I am so happy and thankful—what an answer to prayer and a dream come true! Praise God!
Girls, let me please tell you something. First, it DOES matter who you hang with because what your friends do, you often do. If they party, guess what? You will probably party, because you won’t want to feel left out. That’s not an abnormal thing to feel, but the reality is, you are who you hang with. Just plain and simple. Be around people you admire and pray for God to send at least one Godly friend. Two are better than one, it says in the Bible (two believers, that is, because when one falls down, the other can help pick the other friend up). Literally and spiritually we can help one another when we fall. It says this too in the Bible: “As iron sharpens iron, so one sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17).
Next, let’s say you have a great friend and she believes in God, but she isn’t as strong spiritually as you are. You can pray for her increase in faith and you can be a light to her!
Just to be clear, I’m not saying disregard your friends and disown them, but sincerely think about the relationship and realize as you mature in your faith and walk with Jesus, God may take you places not everyone can sojourn. Pray for wisdom and that God will help you weed out the people who may hinder your walk. Yes, we are called to love each person, but that doesn’t mean to be best friends with everyone or even see them daily. It can mean praying from a distance, or tough love where you have to separate from a friend who is making poor or dangerous choices.
God will reveal to you what to do. I pray you use wisdom, ask a parent, pray, read God’s words and overall, majority-wise, discern if the person is a genuine, real, authentic friend.
Girls, with the demands of life, it’s really impossible to be friends with everyone. Just as Nicole and I said on the most recent chat, quality over quantity. It’s better to have one Godly friend than 10 unbelieving, worldly friends who may take you on another path. God will show you your circle, and for those not as strong, well, maybe you can lead them to Christ by your actions. God bless you.
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