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Christian Life

Girl to Girl Talk: Does It Matter Who I Am Friends With?

Friends-Friendship-Together-Outdoors

Every week, I go through the “Girl Talk” section of Project Inspired and look for those seeking advice and counsel. I want to help answer some questions you may have about living out your Christian life and walk of faith! We want PI to be a safe place where you can ask questions.

Go to projectinspired.com/girl-talk to join the convo.

There is a famous quote that states “Show me your friends and I will show you your future.” This saying is also somewhat expressed in the Bible where it says “Don’t be deceived; bad company corrupts good morals” in 1 Corinthians 15:33.

Recently, a PI Girl asked us in the Girl Talk forum about friendships, and if her friends are genuinely for her (or are as interested in the friendship as she is). Should this matter, and does it even matter who you choose to hang out with? Here is an excerpt from her post:

“I have some really amazing friends. I can tell they really like me, but I don’t know why, and I think they might mean more to me than I do to them.”

Click here to read the full post.

It is sad but true to say that not all people will be truly and genuinely for you, your life and your dreams. Also, people change, seasons change and people can come and go in your life. This doesn’t mean don’t love or trust people, but it is a prompter to be selective in who you choose to befriend and hang out with. Also, remember you can’t please everyone and not everyone will be your real friends. People can be nice to you and especially to your face, but you will know if they are for you not by what they say, but by how they treat you.

I am praying that you PI Girls gain discernment as you grow in your faith because you need to see not only if people are loving you for you, but it’s also the best when you can find Christian, Godly girlfriends who can help you in your faith walk. I love that God brought me Christian friends finally, after years of not having strong Christian girls to hang with or to call and pray with. I had friends who believed in God, but not on the same level as I was spiritually regarding my relationship with Christ.

In high school, it was nice having the Christian Club and my youth group, but I still struggled with peer pressure and temptation just like anyone else. God is faithful, though. I prayed for Nicole, who was not very interested in God in high school and college, but eventually came to know Jesus and is now helping you PI Girls, too! I am so happy and thankful—what an answer to prayer and a dream come true! Praise God!

Girls, let me please tell you something. First, it DOES matter who you hang with because what your friends do, you often do. If they party, guess what? You will probably party, because you won’t want to feel left out. That’s not an abnormal thing to feel, but the reality is, you are who you hang with. Just plain and simple. Be around people you admire and pray for God to send at least one Godly friend. Two are better than one, it says in the Bible (two believers, that is, because when one falls down, the other can help pick the other friend up). Literally and spiritually we can help one another when we fall. It says this too in the Bible: “As iron sharpens iron, so one sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17).

Next, let’s say you have a great friend and she believes in God, but she isn’t as strong spiritually as you are. You can pray for her increase in faith and you can be a light to her!

Just to be clear, I’m not saying disregard your friends and disown them, but sincerely think about the relationship and realize as you mature in your faith and walk with Jesus, God may take you places not everyone can sojourn. Pray for wisdom and that God will help you weed out the people who may hinder your walk. Yes, we are called to love each person, but that doesn’t mean to be best friends with everyone or even see them daily. It can mean praying from a distance, or tough love where you have to separate from a friend who is making poor or dangerous choices.

God will reveal to you what to do. I pray you use wisdom, ask a parent, pray, read God’s words and overall, majority-wise, discern if the person is a genuine, real, authentic friend.

Girls, with the demands of life, it’s really impossible to be friends with everyone. Just as Nicole and I said on the most recent chat, quality over quantity. It’s better to have one Godly friend than 10 unbelieving, worldly friends who may take you on another path. God will show you your circle, and for those not as strong, well, maybe you can lead them to Christ by your actions. God bless you.

Contact me via social media for any questions, advice, prayer or just to say hello:

Facebook: facebook.com/ChristiGiven
Twitter: @christigiven
Instagram: @Christi_Given

Image: Lightstock

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5 Comments

  1. Project Inspired

    Posted by kaityloo123 on May 15, 2015 at 17:09

    I have a friend who has actually gone all the way with a 17 year old boy (Or so she says). She is about to be 15. As of right now she is actually my best friend. She has a lot of messed up things in her life and she acts out badly because of that. Her step mom is a Christian, so she pushes that religion on Sierra (My best friend) and the rest of the family. Sierra’s dad is also Christian. Sierra claims that she is Christian, but she doesn’t act it out. She believes in God and that is what she thinks being a christian is all about. no, it’s about having a relationship with Christ. The only reason she wants to come to my church is because she knows that it is a big church that a lot of people go to, including her crush. she only wants to go to socialize. I don’t think she realizes it, but she is bad. she is a bad influence, but I continue to be friends with her because her family treats her badly. Well, not her dad, but her step mom. We went to the school’s counselor last year to report Lori (The step mom) because she abuses Sierra. Mostly mentally. Very rarely is it physically, but sometimes it is. And I continue to be friends with her because she needs someone. She needs someone she can talk to. And I also have a strong feeling that God is calling me to help her. To guide her down the right path, toward a relationship with Christ.

  2. Project Inspired

    Posted by GingaNinja on February 17, 2015 at 15:43

    I went for a few years of my life without any real friends outside of my family, but now I’m in 3 awesome friend groups of believers; some of them are even homeschooled like me!
    I’m so thankful that God hears prayers.

  3. mkay77

    Posted by mkay77 on February 16, 2015 at 15:57

    ‘You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.’ –Jim Roth. I think that sums up everything I have to say about this!

  4. Speak4Elohim

    Posted by Speak4Elohim on February 16, 2015 at 12:13

    Recently had a situation in which I had to cut off contact with a friend for a while. It is never an easy thing, and I’ve gotten a lot of hate from other friends for it, but when God shows you the way, you must never take your own route for the sake of pleasing others above pleasing God.