Girl to Girl Talk: Friendships and Loneliness
Written by Christi Given | March 23, 2015
Every week, I go through the “Girl Talk” section of Project Inspired and look for those seeking advice and counsel. I want to help answer some questions you may have about living out your Christian life and walk of faith! We want PI to be a safe place where you can ask questions.
“I’m almost 19 years old and I’ve never had a ‘best friend.’ Growing up, I had a few friends that I hung out with at school, but when I try to talk with them or get together now that I’m out of high school, I can’t get any response. It’s almost like I’m invisible. I’m starting to wonder if I’m the problem, and if so, what can I do to fix it? I know God is my ultimate best friend, but it would be so nice to have someone that I can talk to openly about everything in my life and have accountability concerning my spiritual walk. Am I doing something wrong?”
Read the full post here.
Regarding having a lack of friendships, this can, of course be difficult, but is something that can be improved upon. I’m sorry you have to go through this right now, as being a teenager is difficult.
One thing I would recommend if you want to make better friends is to get involved in a Christian club on campus at school. Another idea is to go to your youth leader at church, or maybe your youth pastor can connect you to good people your age.
Another recommendation that I would suggest would be to surround yourself with like-minded Christians who are on the same track as you. Your choice of friends definitely impacts your future. If you tend to have friends who don’t stick around, most likely they are not true believers who genuinely love you.
It is dangerous to walk on the path of those who are not like-minded Christians. In the Bible, it says that light cannot do well with darkness. I encourage you to surround yourself with those who can be an encouragement to your life and can also help you be a stronger believer.
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? (2 Corinthians 6:14)
In the Bible, it says iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17), and that when one falls, it’s good for another friend to pick them up. I pray that you find even just one godly friend.
Regarding friendship, for me it’s more important to have quality over quantity. It’s better to have one Christian girlfriend and to be somewhat lonely at times than to have multiple friends who may not be on a good path (read Psalm 1).
Another thing we need to do as women of God is to pray for our relationships. We need to lift up our friendships and also pray for God to send us Christian like-minded believers.
My dear PI Girls, please realize that sometimes in life we want to be the most popular or liked as a Christian. Sometimes in life we go through dry seasons and sometimes we go through abundant seasons (Ezekiel 34:26). Sometimes we just go through challenges in life or things don’t happen the way we like. I feel for the PI Girl who wrote this and can’t understand why this would happen to her regarding friendships, but I know one thing—trials make you stronger (James 1).
Yes, of course God is our friend and Jesus is always with us, but we are human and we need literal human friendships too. There is nothing wrong with desiring healthy friendships.
The best advice I can give you on this subject? Number one, pray. The next thing I would suggest would be to seek out wise counsel. If your local church can’t connect you with friends your age, then this could also be a test from God to draw you closer to him. Remember, Jesus wasn’t always accepted by man, even though he was the son of God. Jesus understands rejection, and even mockery. Jesus understands loneliness. He knows.
I encourage you to listen to Jeremy Camp’s new song, “He Knows.”
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I pray God sends godly friends and people who will be there for you though thick and thin. Also, maybe you have a trustworthy friend who is loyal and may not be a believer who could end up believing. Just keep on loving that friend, because that is the greatest command of all and it never fails. God bless you all!
PI Girls, does this advice help you? Comment below!
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