Girl-To-Girl Talk: Heartbreak, Internal Worth and Validation
Written by Christi Given | July 14, 2014
Every week, I go through the “Girl Talk” section of Project Inspired and look for those seeking advice and counsel. I want to help answer some questions you may have about living out your Christian life and walk of faith! We want PI to be a safe place where you can ask questions.
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A PI Girl opened up her heart and shared her story about how she liked this guy and he ended up liking another girl. She felt bad when she found out, and was heartbroken. This brings up the question: What validates you? Do you know your internal value and worth?
God loves you SO much and has so many big plans for you! Recently, I posted a quote I felt God speaking to me: “God can pursue you more than any man ever could.” This is so true. God loves you so much that He sent His son Jesus to die on the cross for your sins (John 3). You and I deserve the wages of sin, which is death, but God gave us a FREE gift (Romans 6:23) of eternal life, not because He had to, but because He loves us! How precious are we to the Lord? He prizes you and considers you to be the apple of His eye! Even when man rejects us or fails us, we can look to Jesus.
Keep me as the apple of the eye, hide me under the shadow of thy wings… (Psalm 17:8)
When we hear certain things in our head or when people treat us a certain way, we need to look at it and examine the fruit of how God would look at it. Is what is being spoken over me of God or of the enemy? Is it uplifting or is it wounding? Your words have power. The Bible says:
The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. (Proverbs 18:21)
If whatever we are thinking doesn’t align itself with the mind of Christ or the Word of God, we need to learn that we are in a battle. We need to refute the thought and cast it down, and we need to put on the full armor of God to withstand the devil’s schemes and tricks (Ephesians 6). Also, we need to guard our hearts because if we allow a seed of negativity or a lie get implanted into our hearts, we don’t want it to grow into fear, anxiety, bitterness, resentment, doubt and other forms of sin. That is why the Bible says very clearly over and over, “Do NOT be anxious” (Philippians 4:6) … “Do NOT fear” … “GUARD your heart” (Proverbs 4:23). Why? Because the DEVIL and the DEMONS know that if they can get your heart and your mind, you will slowly slip away from the faith and it can lead you down a path of destruction.
The enemy comes to steal (your joy, peace, sound mind, trust in God, etc.), kill and destroy. According to John 10:10, it says:The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. Amen?
Beloved girls, you need to be jealous for the things of God and want to protect your heart. You may have good intentions and you may like a boy, but guess what? If you are not guarded or protected, you are allowing a door to be open for the enemy to crouch in. He slithers in sneakily like a snake (1 Peter 5:8/ Genesis 4:7). In order to detect this, you need to examine the fruit of how your spirit is. Are you joyful, at peace and bearing the gifts of what the Holy Spirit is? Or are you fearful, on edge, uncertain, confused? God is NOT the author of confusion (1 Corinthians 14:33)—rather, Satan is, and he is the father of lies. Don’t believe the enemy when you feel lonely or are hurt by people or words. Remember how much God loves you and cherishes, prizes and ADORES you!
For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints. (1 Corinthians 14:33)
You are a treasure! Any guy who likes you and would be worthy of being allowed to hang out with you at all should be someone who honors, respects, cherishes and appreciates you as a daughter of the King! Amen?
God is our defense, our Father, our shield, our Lord! If anyone harms you, a daughter of the King, they have to deal with the Lord Jesus! Why? Because He intercedes for you!
I love you, PI Girls, and want the best for you! I know it isn’t easy—rather, it is very difficult—but we can do all things through Christ (Philippians 4). He will give us grace, joy, peace and will help us in ANY situation if we just call upon His name! Also, we need to be whole before we can be in any kind of relationship. If a person is trying to fulfill their life with a person or relationship, they aren’t in a position to be in one because they need to put God first. Man will fail you, but God never will. We need to be content FIRST with the things of God, then all of those other things will fall into place, amen?
Jesus is our Prince—the Prince of peace (Isaiah 9:6)—and he is all we need right now. We need to put the Kingdom first, serve and help others, and the man of God will chase you down. Also, I recommend being at least 18 to date, because when you are a teenager, you don’t really know what you want. Maybe even early 20s unless a guy is pursuing you with marriage and you are the age to be courted and marry. This is because the majority of the time, guys are more immature than girls and don’t know what they want at a young age. (Not all the time, but most of the time this is common.) If you are ready for that next step and you are in college or finishing college, good for you, but if you are just going into high school, you may want to pray about dating and focusing on Jesus and that relationship first.
Hope this helped and answered some questions of yours. Remember, guard your heart—don’t just fall for any guy. Keep watch, read the Bible and pray!
Love you, PI Girls! Feel free to connect with me on social media @TheChristiGiven.
PI Girls, write down a prayer request. I want to pray for you!