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Christian Life

Girl-To-Girl Talk: Heartbreak, Internal Worth and Validation


Every week, I go through the “Girl Talk” section of Project Inspired and look for those seeking advice and counsel. I want to help answer some questions you may have about living out your Christian life and walk of faith! We want PI to be a safe place where you can ask questions.

To join the Girl Talk forum or to read more on this week’s post, click here:

A PI Girl opened up her heart and shared her story about how she liked this guy and he ended up liking another girl. She felt bad when she found out, and was heartbroken. This brings up the question: What validates you? Do you know your internal value and worth?

God loves you SO much and has so many big plans for you! Recently, I posted a quote I felt God speaking to me: “God can pursue you more than any man ever could.” This is so true. God loves you so much that He sent His son Jesus to die on the cross for your sins (John 3). You and I deserve the wages of sin, which is death, but God gave us a FREE gift (Romans 6:23) of eternal life, not because He had to, but because He loves us! How precious are we to the Lord? He prizes you and considers you to be the apple of His eye! Even when man rejects us or fails us, we can look to Jesus.

Keep me as the apple of the eye, hide me under the shadow of thy wings… (Psalm 17:8)

When we hear certain things in our head or when people treat us a certain way, we need to look at it and examine the fruit of how God would look at it. Is what is being spoken over me of God or of the enemy? Is it uplifting or is it wounding? Your words have power. The Bible says:

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. (Proverbs 18:21)

If whatever we are thinking doesn’t align itself with the mind of Christ or the Word of God, we need to learn that we are in a battle. We need to refute the thought and cast it down, and we need to put on the full armor of God to withstand the devil’s schemes and tricks (Ephesians 6). Also, we need to guard our hearts because if we allow a seed of negativity or a lie get implanted into our hearts, we don’t want it to grow into fear, anxiety, bitterness, resentment, doubt and other forms of sin. That is why the Bible says very clearly over and over, “Do NOT be anxious” (Philippians 4:6) … “Do NOT fear” … “GUARD your heart” (Proverbs 4:23). Why? Because the DEVIL and the DEMONS know that if they can get your heart and your mind, you will slowly slip away from the faith and it can lead you down a path of destruction.

The enemy comes to steal (your joy, peace, sound mind, trust in God, etc.), kill and destroy. According to John 10:10, it says:The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. Amen?

Beloved girls, you need to be jealous for the things of God and want to protect your heart. You may have good intentions and you may like a boy, but guess what? If you are not guarded or protected, you are allowing a door to be open for the enemy to crouch in. He slithers in sneakily like a snake (1 Peter 5:8/ Genesis 4:7). In order to detect this, you need to examine the fruit of how your spirit is. Are you joyful, at peace and bearing the gifts of what the Holy Spirit is? Or are you fearful, on edge, uncertain, confused? God is NOT the author of confusion (1 Corinthians 14:33)—rather, Satan is, and he is the father of lies. Don’t believe the enemy when you feel lonely or are hurt by people or words. Remember how much God loves you and cherishes, prizes and ADORES you!

For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints. (1 Corinthians 14:33)

You are a treasure! Any guy who likes you and would be worthy of being allowed to hang out with you at all should be someone who honors, respects, cherishes and appreciates you as a daughter of the King! Amen?

God is our defense, our Father, our shield, our Lord! If anyone harms you, a daughter of the King, they have to deal with the Lord Jesus! Why? Because He intercedes for you!

I love you, PI Girls, and want the best for you! I know it isn’t easy—rather, it is very difficult—but we can do all things through Christ (Philippians 4). He will give us grace, joy, peace and will help us in ANY situation if we just call upon His name! Also, we need to be whole before we can be in any kind of relationship. If a person is trying to fulfill their life with a person or relationship, they aren’t in a position to be in one because they need to put God first. Man will fail you, but God never will. We need to be content FIRST with the things of God, then all of those other things will fall into place, amen?

Jesus is our Prince—the Prince of peace (Isaiah 9:6)—and he is all we need right now. We need to put the Kingdom first, serve and help others, and the man of God will chase you down. Also, I recommend being at least 18 to date, because when you are a teenager, you don’t really know what you want. Maybe even early 20s unless a guy is pursuing you with marriage and you are the age to be courted and marry. This is because the majority of the time, guys are more immature than girls and don’t know what they want at a young age. (Not all the time, but most of the time this is common.) If you are ready for that next step and you are in college or finishing college, good for you, but if you are just going into high school, you may want to pray about dating and focusing on Jesus and that relationship first.

Hope this helped and answered some questions of yours. Remember, guard your heart—don’t just fall for any guy. Keep watch, read the Bible and pray!

Love you, PI Girls! Feel free to connect with me on social media @TheChristiGiven.

PI Girls, write down a prayer request. I want to pray for you!



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  1. Project Inspired

    Posted by Precioustime22 on July 20, 2014 at 17:36

    Hi Christi. How do you not focus on somebody or something? I know it’s a weird question. Also, if guys don’t approach you and see you as pretty that doesn’t mean your value decreases, right?

  2. Project Inspired

    Posted by pretty10 on July 17, 2014 at 20:50

    Christi I struggle with fear also.I’m not saved,I been trying to seek GOD doing these lessons on setting captives free website. it is called the cross. the website doesn’t claim to save people but it is to understand the gospel.my old mentor told me to pray for the gift of repentance Because I said the PRAer of salvation so many times. BUT could you pray for me.as I seek GOD.it doesn’t touch me like other s that CHRIST died.for me. could you just.pray.for me.

  3. USGIRL95

    Posted by USGIRL95 on July 17, 2014 at 18:51

    I been blessed to not “Ve this happen to me☺️

  4. Project Inspired

    Posted by angelgrace on July 17, 2014 at 07:30

    This was very helpful. Today, people need to put our God first and focus on what is more important in our early stages of growing up. Thank you for this word of wisdom. Very grateful.(:

  5. ChristinaGiven

    Posted by ChristinaGiven on July 16, 2014 at 16:32

    @goatwrangler its not in the commandments-I never indicated that, but fear and doubt we see in the Bible are not of God. Of course we all face doubt and all deal with some types of uncertainty-not saying that isn’t normal, but we should give it to God and ask for the Holy Spirit to give us peace-no this isn’t easy by any means and there are real struggles but here are two verses to back what I mean. Also, I write these to help give courage to people to not doubt and fear- not saying you are bad if you deal with this-a lot of people do. When I say the Word of God speaks on how doubt and fear is not from the Lord and or does not glorify God. I think you misunderstood what I meant fear and doubt are not glorify to God because they don’t come from faith.

    In the Bible it says, “And he that doubteth is damned if he eat, because he eateth not of faith: for whatsoever is not of faith is sin.” Romans 14:23

    “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”
    -2 Timothy 1:7

    “But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.”- James 1:6

    God bless you!

  6. goatwrangler

    Posted by goatwrangler on July 15, 2014 at 11:55

    Excuse me? Could you show me the eleventh commandment that says fear and doubt are sins? They’re human nature. I don’t believe there’s an extra commandment that says you’ll be sent straight to hell if you’re afraid or doubt.

    I’m really getting tired of this type of crud; “If your relationship with God is strong enough, you should never feel lonely or depressed!” “Stay away from the SIN of fear and doubt!”

    • ChristinaGiven

      Posted by ChristinaGiven on July 16, 2014 at 16:44

      Hello Connie,

      I am sorry that you misunderstood my post in the latest about heartbreak. I meant that anxiety and fear don’t bring us closer to God-they are very REAL emotions that hurt us and can be damaging. I understand that it is hard and I even experience these emotions too–I am trying to help you girls recognize that even though we cant always help it, we can choose to be in faith or in fear. Not saying that if someone clinically deals with depression or anxiety its their fault-not at all–I am talking about what we focus on-where our heart is and where we focus our attention is what grows. So I say this to help people focus more on praying and asking God for help, rather than the emotion or feeling of fear (if that makes sense.) hope this helps. Let me know if you need any prayer or anything 🙂

      • goatwrangler

        Posted by goatwrangler on July 16, 2014 at 20:58

        Thank you for explaining. I take things too seriously these days. 😉 😛

  7. Project Inspired

    Posted by Precioustime22 on July 14, 2014 at 20:25

    Thank you soooo much Christi for writing this! I really needed to hear because I’ve been struggling with this as well. Thank you for understanding how it feels and encouraging us. I feel better. 🙂