Girl to Girl Talk: “Help! I Want to Change…I Don’t Want to Be a ‘Mean Girl’!”

    This week, a PI Girl said she was struggling with her attitude, with criticism and with being mean-spirited. This girl wants to change and wants to show her parents she is not a mean girl, but rather a loving girl. How can she change?

    First off, it’s a good sign that this girl at least recognizes that she needs to change. She at least wants to change. If you want to change, you need to ask God for help and for a new start! With God, ALL things are possible. (Matthew 19:26) We know alone or in our own efforts we will fall short, so let us CHOOSE to change, to repent and to obey. Does this indicate we will never make a mistake or fall short? No, of course not, but we are trying to aim for godliness and righteousness. We need the help of the Holy Spirit. In the Bible, the Lord Jesus said when he left this earth that God would send the counselor and the helper, the Holy Spirit. (John 14:26/Acts 1:8)

    We who have asked Jesus to be Lord of our lives and want to honor God receive the Holy Spirit when we are baptized by water, and by accepting and confessing Jesus Christ as Lord of all. God is our Father; Jesus, the Son of God (who died for our sins); and the Holy Spirit is God’s presence that lives inside of all believers and is with us wherever we go! How powerful is this? We can call upon God at any time and we can have fellowship in God’s presence because of the blood that was shed on the cross 2,000 years ago. Jesus is God in flesh who dwelt among men (John 1:14). He came to earth to die so we could live eternally. He rose again on the third day to show his power and to overcome the fall of man beginning with Adam (the first man on earth) and because of sin and death.

    When we desire change, what do we need to do? We need to repent and ask God for forgiveness in the name of Jesus. We need to seek the Lord’s Word, the Holy Bible, which is God’s living Word that He breathed into man to write and to be given to us as an instruction manual to guide us. The third thing we need to do is to pray and ask for the Lord’s help and for wisdom.

    Making changes is hard and requires humility and flexibility. I pray that anyone who reads this will be motivated to change and to become a more serious follower of Jesus. I pray that you desire to make an impact, not for just yourself for success, but for God’s Kingdom to advance. People are hurting and need the truth. People need Jesus, they need LOVE, they need hope. We have those answers, so let’s dig deeper into God’s Word and press into His Holy presence even more this year, amen?

    Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. (Galatians 1:10)

    I urge you young girls to step up as leaders and examples. God is looking for someone, even one person like a David, an Esther or a Daniel, to make a positive impact on others and to be different and set apart. It is easy to follow the crowd, to say what you think or feel even if it isn’t right, and it is hard to make the RIGHT decisions all the time. With God’s help, we can ALL make changes, day by day. Don’t you want to be known for being the loving light and bright star for Jesus? Don’t you want to be known as God’s Princess who stepped up for the broken, lonely and hurting person, even if it wasn’t the most popular thing to do? Jesus hung out with the unpopular people who were lepers, who were prostitutes, who were sick, who needed a healer and a Savior. No, sinning isn’t to be accepted in the sense that it is okay to sin, but Jesus revealed through His actions we love the sinner, but hate the sin.


    Ye that love the LORD, hate evil: he preserveth the souls of his saints; he delivereth them out of the hand of the wicked. (Psalm 97:10)

    Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. (1 John 2:15)


    Another reason I share this is that you may have friends who don’t want to sit with someone because they are geeky or not as popular, but Jesus sat with those who the “religious” thought were unacceptable in society. You see, that had a sin which is called “self-righteousness,” which is when you think you are better than someone else. Sorry, we are ALL sinners in need of Jesus. We need someone to rescue us from our darkness and to pull us into the light. There is no fellowship with God without Christ. He was our High Priest. Let us reflect His loving actions toward those who were outcasts in society and do the same. You can love people in the world, but don’t love the world, because it will fade and eventually will fail you. Man will fail you—looks, money, homes, popularity, people will fail you—but God and Jesus will NEVER fail you! Amen?

    When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?” (Matthew 9:11)

    It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man. (Psalm 118:8)


    Don’t you want to have God’s approval at the end of your life when you stand by yourself before God, Jesus and all of the angels in heaven? Will people’s opinions matter? No! Only God’s approval and opinion! I want to be in the hall of FAITH (Hebrews 11), not the temporal Hall of Fame. Both are special, but one is eternal. My point is, what are we aiming for? Do you strive for a perishable crown of popularity or an everlasting crown that you will receive if you run this race called life?

    I pray and urge you all to take a moment, pray, ask for forgiveness and write in your journal. Ask God to show you areas in which you need to change. We ALL need to change something. We ALL can improve in some area. Is your area pride? Is it desiring the approval of man? (Galatians 5) Is it lust? Is it doubt or worry? Is it gossip? Ask God to prune you and to make you a NEW creature in Christ with a soft, loving, open heart, rather than a closed, hardened heart.

    I am praying for you all. Thank you for reading this, precious girls.

    Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. (Romans 12:2)


    Don’t be a mean girl. It isn’t cool, and trust me, good looks, popularity and high school (middle school, college, etc.) will fade away. Even people leave this earth. How do you want to be remembered? Do you want to be known as the snobby “mean girl” that Hollywood portrays as “cool” or do you want to leave a legacy of excellence, humility, courage, faith, love, truth, hope and perseverance for your faith in Jesus Christ?

    I challenge you all to seek out the person who isn’t popular or who may be alone, hurting or broken. Share your lunch with someone or spark up a conversation. If you are too shy, even a smile or high-five can change someone’s day for the better.

    I pray that this PI Girl reads this, and that those of you who desire to change, to be different than this world and to challenge the status quo of what pop culture tells us to be will actually make that change starting today.

    Write down your prayer requests in the comments section below! You are worth more than gold; you are priceless, beautiful and have a calling on your life no matter what you think or feel or despite what people say—because it is what GOD says! (Psalm 139/Jeremiah 1/Jeremiah 29:11)

    Message me with any questions you have about faith or this article:
    Tweet me: @ChristiGiven
    Instagram: @Christi_Given

    God bless you, PI Girls! I am praying for you!

    Christi Given
    Christi Given
    Christi Given is a former Trinity Broadcasting Network host for the JUCE TV NETWORK, and has been featured on the Hillsong Channel. Her passion is to reach the youth with the Gospel and her music. Given has been writing for Project Inspired since 2011, and hopes to encourage the younger generation in their faith.


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