Girl to Girl Talk: “Help, I’m Under Pressure as a PK and Need Advice!”

    Every week, I go through the “Girl Talk” section of Project Inspired and look for those seeking advice and council. I want to help answer some questions you may have about living out your Christian life and walk of faith! We want PI to be a safe place where you can ask questions.

    A PI Girl who is a pastor’s kid feels pressure to be perfect and is dealing with peer pressure and identity issues. Here is her post on the Girl Talk forum:

    “Hi. I have moved across the United States an awful lot. Every time it happens, my identity feels torn apart and I lose friends because some people just can’t handle long-distance relationships. I’m a preacher’s daughter and I feel EXTREMELY pressured to be perfect and reflect my dad’s (and mom’s) virtues. I’ve always been homeschooled, but now I also take a class at public school…I’ve been wrestling with the Christian faith and under tons of pressure. I can’t handle being that perfect little pastor’s girl anymore! I feel about to break and I can’t take it….”

    Dear PI Girl, I am so sorry you are dealing with this kind of pressure. I want to address the issue of identity here and the pressure to be perfect.

    First and foremost, I want to remind you that no one is perfect, only Jesus is perfect and was the only perfect human on earth. It is hard to be involved in ministry and/or related to those in ministry, as it does require higher standards of living. God calls us to be set apart and a light unto the world, but we cannot strive to try and do this on our own. We must depend on the Holy Spirit and also need to ask God to enable us to be an example for Him while not becoming legalistic, religious or self-righteous.


    So he said to me, “This is the word of the LORD to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the LORD Almighty.” (Zechariah 4:6)


    Regarding identity, we need to remember we are sons and daughters of the Most High God. No matter what happened in the past, Jesus loves you and your identity is in Him. You are royalty and never let the enemy speak lies about who you are. You are not the mistakes you made. Jesus took your place and now you are a new creation. Sure, we make little mistakes here and there, and we need to flee from habitual sin, but more importantly, God says that a man will fall seven times, but will get back up. Jesus understands we aren’t perfect—even He was tempted in the desert when He fasted for 40 days.

    Also, we are not defined by whether we are popular or not, or if we have a lot of friends or not. I am sure it is hard moving so much and having to reconnect, but think of Jesus—He was rejected by His own people! Even some of the disciples doubted Him even though they said they loved Him.

    You are NOT alone. God is always with you and knows every hair on your head. You are precious and valuable to God, and Jesus (God in flesh) walked the earth and knows the pressures of this life. He can relate. Talk to God and pray, and ask Him to comfort you. The Holy Spirit is the wonderful counselor and also is the comforter when we feel alone, or need to feel God’s presence.


    But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you. (John 14:26)


    Remember, the enemy wants us to be sad, doubtful, distraught, hopeless and to give in to peer pressure. Why? Because Satan is the Accuser of the Brethren! He loves to accuse, poke, prod, provoke and tempt…don’t fall for it, sister! Recognize it, laugh it off and declare war on him by speaking out the Word of God over your life! Trust me, I have to every single day! It is a battle! Put on the full armor of God like you do your clothing. Don’t step outside in the morning without your spiritual armor on or you will be a perfect, weak target! Let’s face it, we cannot do anything without God’s power, protection, provision, and His Holy Word and presence. (Read Ephesians 6 and also read my article on warfare.) Also read the article on peer pressure here.

    I recently wrote an article on the difference between condemnation and conviction…there is a difference. The Holy Spirit convicts us and tells us to re-route like a GPS when we are going the wrong way. You know that feeling you get when you know you shouldn’t be somewhere or that warning inside of you like “I shouldn’t go there or be with those people,” etc.? That’s The Lord warning you, but condemnation is NOT of God. Condemnation where you feel so guilty and terrible with no hope is from the devil! He wants to steal, kill and destroy (John 10:10). He uses different tactics on everyone and so do the demonic spirits. We need to protect ourselves with God’s Holy Word (The Bible) and clothe our minds and hearts with the Truth so when the fiery darts come, they will be quenched by the Word, the Living water, amen?

    Don’t be fooled by the enemy—when you lose your joy and peace, recognize who is messing with you! Let nothing steal your joy in God’s presence. Again, it is okay to mourn and be repentant regarding sin, but you don’t need to continue to beat a dead horse—once you ask for forgiveness and if you are genuine, Christ’s blood cleanses us from all filth, stains and unrighteousness. Proverbs 24:16 says, “The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again.” Now, if you purposely sin (some people take grace and mercy as a license to sin, but God isn’t mocked), there is no more blood to cover sins that are being willfully and purposefully committed, so obviously God knows each person’s inner heart and motives. We don’t, so we cannot say, but we need to be accountable for our own actions.

    Remember, if God forgives you, then you need to rest in His mercy and grace, and trust He really forgave you! If you don’t believe this displeases God and it is as if you are saying the cross wasn’t enough. Jesus didn’t come to the world to condemn the world, but the Bible days, God sent His Son to SAVE it (John 3:16-17). We need to receive the free gift and walk in our true royalty and authority, amen?

    Thank you for being honest and writing in. I hope this advice not only helps you, but other PI Girls out there, too!

    If you have any questions or comments, write me at and write a prayer request or advice below this article! Jesus loves you girls! God bless you.

    Christi Given
    Christi Given
    Christi Given is a former Trinity Broadcasting Network host for the JUCE TV NETWORK, and has been featured on the Hillsong Channel. Her passion is to reach the youth with the Gospel and her music. Given has been writing for Project Inspired since 2011, and hopes to encourage the younger generation in their faith.


    1. It seems like people tend to put us pastor’s kids on a pedestal…
      We are usually held up as the example for other kids and when we fall, we feel afraid that we will let people down. I understand how you feel, but Christ has taught me that how he sees me is what matters. I am not striving to please others; I should want to please him! I have a suggestion for you: talk to your parents about how you feel! They may not realize you feel so pressured! I will be praying for you, girl!

    2. My mom was a PK and experienced the same thing, but eventually she settled down in college and soon after married my dad 🙂 You will soon be able to choose to live the life you are lead to lead, don’t fret!

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