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    Girl to Girl Talk: Struggles with Cutting and Depression

    Every week I go through the “Girl Talk” section of Project Inspired and look for those seeking advice and council. I want to help answer some questions you may have about living out your Christian life and walk of faith! We want PI to be a safe place where you can ask questions.

    This week’s question comes from a PI girl who has struggled with depression and cutting. I want to talk about this, open it up for more questions and advice, and tell you about God’s love for you and YOUR personal value, beauty and self-worth.

    “I have struggled with cutting and depression for almost 5 years now and I am doing ok lately. I still struggle, but God is good! I also was sexually abused as a child and that was a big part of the cutting and depression. I am ok though. I just want to put myself out there and let others know that if they are going through the same things, I am here for you …”

    Read the entire post here.

    First of all, I want to commend the writer, who had the courage to stand up and share about her struggles. Not only that, but this girl wants to help and reach out to others, which is so selfless, thoughtful and caring.

    There are three main struggles I see in this post that other readers may relate to:

    1. Sexual abuse. Sexual abuse can cause so much pain and confusion. If you are being or have been sexually abused, you need to:

    • Reach out for help. Tell a family member or someone close to you, even if you’re afraid of the outcome. You need to report the situation immediately.
    • Pray. Ask God to be your shelter and for wisdom in how to deal with the situation.

    For more information on sexual abuse and help, visit loveisrespect.org.

    2. Depression. Depression is something that is very deep and hard to figure out, and comes not from God but from Satan! It says in the book of John,

    ‘The thief does not come except to steal, kill and to destroy.’ Jesus says, ‘I have come that they may have LIFE, and that they may have it more abundantly’ (John 10:10).

    If you need prayer, reach out to a youth pastor, friend or parent. If you’re having suicidal thoughts or you have self-harming behavior, reach out for help immediately.

    • The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
    • My Broken Palace is an online resource for girls who are dealing with the crushing weight of loneliness, depression, anxiety, stress, abuse, addictions or thoughts of suicide alone. Someone will be there to help you through email, chat and a variety of other ways.

    Remember, beautiful: YOU are a cherished and adored girl with FULL potential! God didn’t make you on accident but for His glory to shine for the world to see. Don’t let the lies of the enemy deceive you because you are a gem, a pearl and a jewel! You are precious in God’s sight.

    Beloved, Nicole and I love you so much! We pray for you regularly and want the best for you. God loves you more than the grains of sand on the seashore. He knit you in your mother’s womb! He intricately designed you for His power, honor, purpose and for His name to be known.

    Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows (Luke 12:7).

    seashore

    [Image Credit: http://www.endlessimpact.com/]

    Before I formed you in the womb I knew you (Jeremiah 1:5).

    3.) Cutting. Cutting is a self-infliction of injury. Cutting is very dangerous and harmful; if you cut or otherwise harm your body, it’s important that you get help immediately. Take a look at this great article on cutting and how to quit.

    Ask Jesus to help you–God the Father knows everything, He knows every hair on your head, He knows EVERY thought. Just talk to Him and cast your cares upon Him!

    …Casting all your anxiety on him because He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7).

    You don’t need to carry out your fears, worries and doubts onto your body. Jesus already did that on the cross. You don’t need to hurt your beautiful skin and precious body! The devil is a liar and I ask you to please, as a believer, rebuke him. It is a LIE and it will not help you, but only HARM you.

    Again, please reach out to someone if you are harming or thinking or harming yourself. There is help out there. We are here for you, we want to pray for you, connect with you and let you know that YOU are not alone! God is always with you and there are many girls who have been hurt and feel your pain.

    PI readers, if you know of someone who is in danger, please tell an adult and PRAY. Ask God to guide you, and be a supportive listener for your friend. Comment below for prayer, and additional questions.

    More Stories Like This on Project Inspired:

    Girl to Girl Talk: “Is Popularity a Sin?”
    Girl to Girl Talk: How Do We Know Jesus Is “The Way”?
    Girl to Girl Talk: How Do I Overcome Fear?

    Christi Given
    Christi Givenhttp://www.christigiven.com
    Christi Given is a former Trinity Broadcasting Network host for the JUCE TV NETWORK, and has been featured on the Hillsong Channel. Her passion is to reach the youth with the Gospel and her music. Given has been writing for Project Inspired since 2011, and hopes to encourage the younger generation in their faith.

    56 COMMENTS

    1. This is what I (kinda) need. When I get frustrated, I want to scratch myself in the face and I call myself a problem. Even though I was never abused or cutting, Thank you Christi for giving us an article to help us through this who are struggling. I still want to scratch my face and call myself a problem…but I thank you with ALL my heart! God Bless You, Emily <3

      • Thank you Emily for your honesty. Lord I pray in Jesus’ name you will heal Emily and help her to call upon your name and not take out her frustration on herself, I thank you Lord in advance in Jesus’ mighty name, amen.

      • Wow, I am so sorry @BonitaGirl I will pray now. Dear God, please cover this young girl with your feathers (psalm 91) I ask you removed any demonic spirits or oppressive thoughts from her now in the power of the name of Jesus Christ! Thank you God for hearing our prayers! You are all powerful and you are the healer. <3 Amen.

    2. This is awesome, i noticed there are alot of girls on here that have struggled with depression or cutting at some point and i am so glad this amazing PI girl was able to do that so bravely and this article is great! I really hope that it helps every girl who reads it!!!

    3. What do I do if a girl I know is cutting? We aren’t super close, she hasn’t even told me, but we swim together and have gym class and well…I’ve been praying for her, but other than that I don’t know what to do!

        • I think most of her friends know, but all they do is talk about it…they tried to tell our principal since he’s pretty close with my grade but she just lied about it and said she fell in a bush..

        • Definitely a problem :/ I’ll be praying for her and the situation! If I were you, I’d keep a lookout at your school to see if theres anybody who can help her, but really, if there isnt, there isn’t much more u can do then pray.

          ~Natalie Noel~

        • My friend was doing this the same situation i kept going to the social worker and finally she confessed to cutting herself, so just keep pursuing help.

        • Also, your principal probably isn’t dumb, he or she probably knows, but if they don’t, it is super important to get her help. Talk to a counselor for her, but don’t let it slide. she needs help. And keep praying! I will pray for her and to give you courage. good luck.

        • As someone who has personally experienced this, I strongly advise against telling ANYONE unless you think that the friend might take their lives. I know this initially sounds horrible, but this makes the person not only feel worse, but also aggravates their behavior (cutting, in this case). It is so very, VERY difficult to understand why someone would do this to themselves, and why getting help makes it worse, but please trust me. I would suggest making it clear to this person that you know what they’re doing and that if they want help, you’re available. If they know someone is watching out, they’ll most likely feel less lonely first of all, but also won’t want to risk getting caught with more scars.

      • Praying for you! Something that always comforts me is Romans 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called for His purpose.” and Jerimiah 29:11, which I cannot quote off the top of my head….. <3

      • Yes I will pray right now! Jesus bless this person and cover them, heal @vonamc13 and help her to trust in YOU, not in our flesh which fails us God, oh How we need your Spirit oh Lord. Please please help this young person Father, We thank you in advance! In Jesus’ mighty name, amen!

      • Lord, please heal this young girl, and please remove the lies of Satan from her right now God, please be near her and I ask God you will increase her trust in YOU and not believe the lies of the enemy. I praise you for healing her in advance God.

    4. I visited My Broken Palace, and it was an amazing experience. I watched a video that totally left me in tears. http://www.youtube.com/user/mybrokenpalace?feature=watch I may not be addicted to drugs, or cutting, or alcohol, but I have my own problems, and my own mistakes. I’m scarred. But a scar shows I survived. This other video also really stood out to me, because it was so inspiring that God redeemed even a story as broken as this one. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWTuFidBD_s&list=PL86B9952F95F10112

      Thanks so much!

    5. I believe I needed this especially lately. I have been in counseling for almost a year trying to get help but there are still a lot of times I struggle with both of these and lately since I havent in 3 weeks (which is a huge step for me)it seems to be getting harder and harder to keep from doing it. Thank you posting this!!

      • Thank you for writing and taking the time to share. I will pray for you right now. Dear God, please help your Daughter recover, heal and to help others in her future God-just like others you have healed Jesus, oh You are amazing Lord, we thank you in advance in faith for full healing and recovering in your Holy name, amen.

    6. This is a hard topic. God pulled me out of something different than this, but it left its ugly mark. I think most people have that story they never want to tell. Something they are ashamed of, whether it be something small or big. Something someone else did, or something they brought on themselves.I have an emotional (if thats even the right word.) scar, but physical scars are just there, nothing more. Emotional scars are the same. They dont ever have to hurt again, once it’s healed. 🙂 the day that I realized this, I felt a sudden realization and hope. It happened, it may even turn people off, but it NEVER has to hurt again or effect you from doing something.
      ~Abbi

    7. I kinda can relate. Everytime I get in a argument with my parents/mainly mom I cute myself because thats my way of punishing myself. Its horrible, but it makes me feel better. I havent done it in a while because I havent got in any arguments lately. I’m trying. And praying.

    8. HurricaneMurphGirl, what you said my a lightbulb go off in me: “I may not be addicted to drugs, or cutting, or alcohol, but I have my own problems, and my own mistakes. I’m scarred. But a scar shows I survived.” A scar shows I survived. Well, I have my scars; emotional and physical. Scars of when others have hurt me when they should have loved me, scars of when I have hurt myself. We ALL have our scars, and many of us try to hide them, but GOD sees. It is so hard in times of depression to remember how loved you are, and that we are healed by CHRIST’s stripes! HE took the scars of our souls already! I know, ladies, how difficult it is to see yourself as something beautiful when the world hurts you so much. I know, that sometimes, it is easier to hurt yourself than to hurt those causing the pain. But, I also know, that if you treat yourself like the problem long enough, you will start to believe that you are the problem. AND YOU ARE NOT!!!! YOU ARE FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE! Please, believe that! I am mostly talking to myself. ;} I love every one of you PI girls and I am praying for you, and I hope that you will find hope in this sea of hopelessness. YOU. ARE. NOT. ALONE!!!!!! You are NEVER alone! GOD bless you all!
      Love,
      Lexi

    9. I struggle with depression. And I’m a cutter. Two days ago I promised my best friend, Pat, that I would throw my razors away, and I did last night. And the trash truck came today, and took them away forever. It’s only sense this morning, but I’m struggling. I’m not used to not having a razor near. I don’t know if I can do it. I’m not used to this. Most of my scars are fading, they are about three years old, but one is not. It’s a small white scar that no one would notice unless I made a note to it. And perfect timing on this article, being tomorrow is self-harm/suicide awareness day. But, as I said not having a razor near is not the most comferting thing. I hope I can stay strong through this. :/

    10. I’ve cut myself before, and it never helped me. My family still yells and tells me i’m next to nothing, and I’ve fallen before to believing them. Thank u for this article. It’s helping me a lot. lots of love<3

    11. Thank you so much for posting this. I’ve been having issues with depression, and a few months ago I had began cutting (surprisingly the same day as my best friend). She’s fought through her battle, and now she’s better and found again. I’m still struggling, still cutting, still feeling like I’m a bother, and nobody would miss me if I was gone(most days). I’m trying to stop, but it’s just so hard with all that’s going on in my life, it doesn’t get easier, and it just gets harder and harder to stop.

      And for Emily:
      Lord I pray you heal Emily, and when she calls to you, you help her keep from hurting herself more, and to take her frustration and pain, and put it in a place where no-one will get hurt. In the Lord All Mighty’s name, Amen.

    12. This is true. And helps a lot. I use to cut myself in 7th and 8th grade. I would cut myself because I felt like I couldn’t tell anyone how I actually felt. I would take all my anger or sadness but cutting myself. My friends helped me to stop. They would always check my backpack to see if I had safety pins or anything that I can use to cut myself. I stopped cutting myself for 3 years now and know how to express my feelings in a healthy way. I also would pray every night and ask God to help me through the struggles.

    13. I actually wrote an article for PI a year and a half ago about this. I struggle with cutting myself, and I offered reasons on why you shouldn’t, the top one being that you were created in God’s image. I may seem like a hypocrite, but I’m just trying to help someone else out. Get help. Any kind of help. God doesn’t want you cutting. I don’t want you cutting. It’s a road you don’t want to go down. I would know.

    14. I love an interview with Demi Lovato, in which she states that these problems aren’t something that you can just “fix”, like a car. They need constant “fixing”; they’re not something you can just get over. I have struggled with depression and anxiety for 7 years, and cutting for about 4. I had a wonderful spiritual and physical experience with God a few years ago, and even that didn’t work as a cure for my problems.
      That being said, God provides hope in the everyday occurrences. If you struggle with any traumas, know that it gets better. You may not realize it in the moment, but in a few years you will look back in awe at the blessings He has provided for you throughout your journey. 🙂

    15. Recently I’ve thought about cutting myself or running away. I know its wrong and dangerous but I just havent known what to do. I dont know how to express my feelings. I’m always the strong one and for me to breakdown would be so exposing of who i am inside. Its been really tough and I just want to be heard and listened to and for someone to let me vent how I’m really feeling. People would be so shocked of me. I need prayer…

      • I want you to know I was in the same situation as you a couple years ago and I understand what it is like to feel like there is no one to talk to but it is sooo important! If you want to I would be absolutely willing to listen to you vent. And if I may I would LOVE to pray over you. My email is jordan.sanders@Aol.com. Any time you want to talk just let me know!! please don’t think you have to be alone. You have a community of girls around you who are willing to love you just the way you are. I will be praying!!

        • Thank you so much for that 🙂 I really appreciate it. Maybe I’ll take you up on that sometime. Sure, you may pray for me. :)Thank you so much!

    16. I am struggling with cutting. I cut myself three times today. I feel like I’m over-reacting. But some people might say that my mom is emotionally abusing me. It’s a minor case. She isn’t insulting me to my face or anything. It’s complicated, and I don’t really want to talk about it.

      I don’t want to tell anyone. I’ve told my friend who’s struggling with the same situation, except worse. And another friend who I would trust with my life. They’re helping me, but I don’t know if I can tell them that I won’t do it again. There’s a great possibility that I will.

    17. Over the past two years, I’ve struggled with depression and a self-harm addiction. I’ve attempted suicide once, and considered it multiple other times. I still struggle with the urge to cut, but haven’t done it in a while since my youth minister found out and had a talk with me. She just looked so, so sad, that I felt so guilty for it. I began praying for the strength to hold back, and God’s really come through for me.
      A few months ago, I also got out of an (emotionally and sexually) abusive relationship that lasted around four months. It was hell, and I’m glad that chapter of my life is over. If you’re stuck in one of those, remember: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. If you ever need to be reminded what love truly is. If someone is taking advantage of you or manipulating you, it is not love.
      There is always someone around who cares and is willing to help you. My friends and family have been a great support in this tough time. And if you truly don’t feel like you could reach out to anyone, God will always listen and give you His time.

    18. I struggled with depression for longer than I care to admit, but for a much shorter time than many others who I pray for very often. Here is what helped me:
      > I always felt like talking to someone about it would cause a huge mess I didn’t want to get into. I realize that I should have told someone I was in such a dark place, but I didn’t. What I did do was start talking about my day or my week to people very close to me who I trusted. This helped me show them I was upset and gave me a chance to vent without admitting to them I was depressed. So while you work up the courage to tell someone (which I am telling you will help A LOT), just talk to them about what is upsetting you at the moment.

      > In regards to cutting, I thought about it for a long time. I had sudden urges to just do it and I came very close many times. For a long time, the only reason I held myself together was this verse “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit?” This verse isn’t JUST in reference to keeping sexually pure (though that is a big part of it). In general, we need to respect ourselves. God made us the way we are. He made us fearfully and wonderfully. We should appreciate that and take care of our bodies which are just as much His creation as anything else.

      > What helped me a lot was getting involved in things. It was very hard for me at times to even get off of the couch. I was so down. I felt so heavy and I had no motivation. But when I got involved in ANYTHING, I felt better. I was distracted from the thoughts Satan put in my mind and I used the gifts God gave me to make art or lead devotions or laugh with my friends. Sometimes when you act like everything is okay, it really starts to be okay. Get up and be active in the world. Don’t let Satan’s chains keep you alone in your room or house feeling worthless because you aren’t doing anything. God has much better things than that in store for you.

      Lastly, always, always, ALWAYS remember:
      Suicide is a PERMANENT fix for a TEMPORARY problem. No matter how long the hurt lasts, healing will come. Don’t dare to stop praying, because in situations like this, you need God more than ever, and it’s easier than ever to lose sight of Him.

      A very, VERY great skit that had me in tears is the one set to Lifehouse’s song Everything. Just look up “Lifehouse Everything Skit” and pick one. Very moving and very helpful.

      Much love.

    19. I’ve been fighting this battle for almost 6 years now. It’s so hard to believe that I’m worh more than what I’m doing to myself. Trying to stop seems impossible because every time that I’ve attempted to, it’s just come back. I’m just worn out. I’m tired of trying to fight something that’s just going to come right back.

    20. I’ve posted on this thread before but I have some serious questions and I don’t know where to ask them.
      It’s not that I want every single one of them answered specifically but these are things I’d like to see discussed since we’re beginning to look at these serious issues.
      1) when I went through depression I felt like God was disappointed in me for not appreciating what I had. I knew His love should have been enough for me no matter what, but on top of that I felt like I had so much being a privileged white girl in America. I was ashamed to tell God I was sad. Any words of advice for this issue?
      2) how do you even going about telling people who do so much for you and care so much for you that you feel like you need more help (therapy)? Getting help is extremely scary and I did not know what would land me in a hospital, what would land me in therapy, and what would just make doctors throw some pills at me.
      3) this is kind of like the first question… The Biblical person I look up to most is Paul (aside from Jesus of course) and this is mostly because of Philippians. He wrote the letter while he was in jail. He was facing death and had been tortured and knew his friends were suffering because of their faith. Everything was against him and yet this letter was filled with joy and optimism. When I was depressed the devil turned this book of hope around for me and I saw it as something. That made me feel ashamed. Paul had every reason to be depressed as yet he seems full of hope. This is obviously because he had the love of The Lord. But there I was depressed without a reason even close to his and so I wondered if I really had the love of Jesus like I had thought.

      I’d like to say I am out of my depressed state and I am loving The Lord and I know He loves me in a way I can’t even fathom and I am really becoming happy with my life. However these are questions I never got clear answers to and I feel like there are a lot of people out there who need them to be answered as well.

      Thank you!

    21. No, I am so sorry but I have to disagree with some of this. “Depression … comes not from God, but from Satan!” Depression tends to be a chemical imbalance in the brain that needs to be medicated, and God gave scientists the wonderful wisdom to create those drugs. Depression may come from the devil at times, yes, but usually it does not. That is like saying when someone breaks their arm it is from Satan. What if, at the hospital when that person breaks their arm, they witness to all their doctors and he woke ER over 100 people get saved? Would you still say that the broken bone was from Satan? I think not. I think it is a SITUATION that God used abundantly. We are all given trials to face, whether it be physically or mental, they are not all from satan. Some people have depression and become addicted to self harm for n o obvious r e a s o n. It, once again, is the chemical imbalance of the brain. I went through a self harm addictive period, and i have major Depressive Disorder for which I am medicated. I have helped bring countless people to the Lord since I can relate to them on a personal level about this subject. So please, break this stigma about mental illness in the Church. It’s incorrect, it’s harmful (honestly it made me feel horrible when people told me it was all Satan), and you probably just don’t know! Just to reiterate; it may be from Satan to tear you down as an attack, but it’s more than likely a trial from God that will develop into somehing beautiful. Stay strong out there guys, we are just passing through

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