Girl to Girl Talk: I’m a Preacher’s Kid, But I Don’t Want to Be Different!

    Every week, I go through the “Girl Talk” section of Project Inspired and look for those seeking advice and counsel. I want to help answer some questions you may have about living out your Christian life and walk of faith! We want PI to be a safe place where you can ask questions. Contact me @ChristiGiven.

    Here’s a post from a PI Girl who is a “preacher’s kid” and wants some guidance:

    “All my life I’ve been ‘the preacher’s kid.’ I also have a relatively large family. So when I’m at church, people actually refer to me as ‘the pastor’s kid,’ and don’t get me wrong, I love my church and I love my family, but my parents tell me that I’m always going to be different. I don’t want to be different! I’m also homeschooled, so I feel like I’m isolated from the rest of the church. People ask me if I like being the preacher’s kid. I just say I’ve never known any different. My entire family wants to come to an upcoming youth event. I say, ‘Mom, no one’s entire family comes.’ Her response is ‘Your youth pastor’s entire family comes.’ (They have two baby girls.) My dad’s response is ‘No one else is the pastor’s daughter.’ Like I said, I don’t want to be different. Please help.”

    Read the post here.


    For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required. (Luke 12:48)


    First thing about being a pastor’s daughter or child: It is difficult to be a leader’s daughter because yes, you are held to a higher standard and calling, and whether you like it or not, your parents will watch your life, your choices and behavior. Granted, the pressure and the responsibility isn’t always desired, but God says, “to whom much is given, much more will be required.” You need to expect to be different, which is probably what your parents meant (not saying this is a bad thing). In addition, realize you are not alone or isolated, but rather we ALL have times we feel alone or different, are mocked or are persecuted for our faith. We are BLESSED when we are persecuted for righteousness or when we are misunderstood. God’s Kingdom is the OPPOSITE of the world, so take it as a compliment.


    For our citizenship is in heaven, from which also we eagerly wait for a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. (Philippians 3:20)


    Embrace being different and realize that there are many people who would love to be in your shoes. There are people who go to Bible college or seminary, or spend years trying to learn how to be a pastor and would dream of going to camps with their family. I know you may not like this and it is challenging to always be with your family, but ask God for His strength and guidance. On the other hand, some people may feel that they have to share their parents with others, but it is a balance.

    Look on the bright side of things. What if your family wasn’t saved? Things could be worse. Realize we all have family issues or dynamics we wish we could change, but it is just a part of life. At this point you cannot change anything really, until you are 18 and go off to college to gain full independence. So in the meantime, I would recommend and pray that you just embrace it and love on your family because time is precious and life is short.


    Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. (Matthew 5:11)


    1. As Christians we are different: As Christians we are called to be salt and light and to share the Gospel with the world, which makes us strangers and aliens of the world because we know this isn’t our home.


    You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot. (Matthew 5:16)


    2. Regardless of your parents’ roles, you are blessed: Whether your parent is a pastor or not, you are blessed that they are in the faith. Imagine if they didn’t believe the same way as you, and you were persecuted or rejected for not believing the same as them? Let us count our blessings and pray for the persecuted church (Matthew 5:11).

    3. To whom much is given, much is required: For some reason God chose your parents to be leaders and they obeyed, and now you are a young leader in a way. Many people want to be a role mode, a leader, a celebrity, a CEO, but they don’t want to put the work in or the responsibility…remember the Bible verse “to whom much is given, much more will be asked for or required” (Luke 12:48).

    4. Know sharing your parents with others is for the Kingdom: If you are sad about sharing the time with your parents and the church, don’t fear—you can always look at it as sowing into the Kingdom. Although it is not easy sharing time with your mom and dad, you must look at the bigger picture, too. Also, look at it as when you don’t want to spend all of the camp with your family, then you have a balance of sharing the time with your parents in the ministry.

    5. Don’t be ashamed of who you are: You are fearfully and wonderfully made! God loves you and placed you in a special family (Psalm 139).



    Christi Given
    Christi Given
    Christi Given is a former Trinity Broadcasting Network host for the JUCE TV NETWORK, and has been featured on the Hillsong Channel. Her passion is to reach the youth with the Gospel and her music. Given has been writing for Project Inspired since 2011, and hopes to encourage the younger generation in their faith.


    1. You know I feel like this is conformation from God. There are days when I see people walking and they’re in relationships or have really close friendships and I don’t because I’m homeschooled and out church is fairly small but it is growing slowly. However overtime I wish I could have a good friendship or even a relationship I feel a tug in my heart leading me to feel that I am different. I am not of this world and It’s going to be different for me. Though it can get lonely at times, though I am still young, I know that Jesus and God our my best friends and their the only relationship I should focus on until God’s timing comes to pass and I get to meet my husband. Though the father is so faithful and generous and has actually let me seen him before at a concert not once but 3 times in a building with thousands of people. That has also given me hope because what I felt when I saw him and a vision that God had given me… It is well worth the wait and I am so grateful. So my point is, I’m growing to enjoy being different and I take this time as I wait to focus on God and my family and school.
      Great article I really needed it!

    2. Thank you for writing this post. I really appreciate you writing this. I have slowly started to feel better about being “the pastors kid.” I have gotten closer with my friends and made a few new ones. I don’t feel embarrassed about it anymore. I hope this has helped others as well. 🙂

    3. Thank you for this article!!!!! My parents are the youth leaders,so I feel werid sometimes and I am homschooled, so that adds to that feeling,too! But being different is good! Stand out of the crowd, as my parents would say! Be the light to your friends and people in general!:)

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