Every week, I go through the “Girl Talk” section of Project Inspired and look for those seeking advice and counsel. I want to help answer some questions you may have about living out your Christian life and walk of faith! We want PI to be a safe place where you can ask questions.
Here is an excerpt from a PI Girl’s post about being single:
“[I don’t know] if it’s just because most of my friends are dating or married or what, but I’ve felt so pressured lately to find a bf. Not by anyone in particular, I just feel like people expect it from me. (I’m 20, and I haven’t had a bf before.)”
Read the full post here.
This PI girl is struggling with peer pressure and family pressure regarding having a relationship. She wants to know if there is any point in dating before marriage, especially if she is not ready. She wants to focus on family, travel and figuring out her life, and also doesn’t want to deal with drama because her family is going through a lot right now. Can anyone relate? She also needs to deal with being genuine to people around her because she feels she is pretending to be something and is frustrated with her situation and with herself right now.
Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. (1 Peter 5:7)
One thing I would say is that if you are looking to focus on your life right now and know what you want or need, good for you! You are a 20-year-old and you’re a grown adult, so you don’t need people telling you how to live your life. Of course you can accept advice and wise counsel, but people in your life don’t need to pressure you. From the title of your post, it seems like you are happy and independent being single.
I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When you’re unmarried, you’re free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master. Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your attention. The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God. I’m trying to be helpful and make it as easy as possible for you, not make things harder. All I want is for you to be able to develop a way of life in which you can spend plenty of time together with the Master without a lot of distractions. (1 Corinthians 7:32-35)
Here are some of the reasons why it is a blessing to be single. These are reasons to enjoy this season without the pressure of people telling you what you should and shouldn’t do, and without forcing God’s timing.
10 Pros of Being Single
1. More time to focus on God: The Bible says that the single person is able to focus on the Lord more than a person devoted to their family, their marriage, kids and so forth (1 Corinthians 7:32-35).
2. Save money: When you are single, you are able to save versus spending money on dates, homes, weddings and other expenses.
3. Opportunity to travel: You are able to be more free and travel at your own leisure while single. Why not go overseas and explore across the world?
4. More time for passions and dreams: Sure, if you were married, you could follow your dreams, but you have MUCH more time as a single person to pursue your passions and the things you set to do in your heart.
5. Serve: You are able to serve the church more, and can open yourself to volunteer and to contribute to society and the community.
6. Health and exercise: This is a time and season where you can build good, smart and healthy habits. Start grocery shopping in the produce aisles, eat healthy, work out and set goals.
7. Learn something new: Want to learn to cook, speak Spanish or dance, or want to go to a class? Spend time on YOU before jumping into a relationship. Pursue what you love and the rest of life will follow.
8. Grass is greener on the other side: In life, it is easy to compare ourselves to one another. One word of advice: DON’T. Seriously, comparison can be the thief of joy, just as Theodore Roosevelt stated. In life there will always be room for growth; we always think we need or we want more, but really we need to just be content. The Bible says “Godliness with contentment is GREAT gain” (1 Timothy 6:6).
9. Meet new people: This is a time in your life when you can truly meet so many different types of people, from getting connected in a small group to doing a Bible study. You can host or meet people through church and so forth. When you are married, you will meet people, but again, everything is somewhat limited because you have to respect your mate and consider his time, and also your work/life/etc. will be busy and can potentially make it harder to commune with people as much as you can as a single person. When you are married, especially if you have kids, you may be limited because of babysitting and/or may not have as much time to mingle after church or through extracurricular activities. So enjoy it now while you are young and single!
10. Enjoy your youth—marriage is forever: This may sound cliché, but it’s true. You are only young once, and while I believe in building a life of marriage and growing together, there isn’t a timeline according to your family, but rather God’s timing. Marriage will be forever, so don’t worry what people think! Focus on Jesus, and your education, goals and the rest will fall into the right place.
…for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. (Philippians 4:11)
PI Girls, do you have any advice regarding being single and tips on how to enjoy singleness? Comment below if you have advice for this PI Girl regarding pressure from family and friends as well!
Find Christi Given on social media: @ChristiGiven. Message her for prayer or further questions: facebook.com/ChristiGiven.