Every week, I go through the “Girl Talk” section of Project Inspired and look for those seeking advice and counsel. I want to help answer some questions you may have about living out your Christian life and walk of faith! We want PI to be a safe place where you can ask questions.
Go to projectinspired.com/girl-talk to join the convo.
This week a PI Girl asked about cuddling. Click here for the full post.
“So is wanting to be close to my guy friend and maybe snuggling with him a bad thing? Like that’s as far as it would go and [I] wouldn’t be [trying] to make it go farther. I don’t see it as a sexual thing, more like laying my head on his shoulder, but would it be inappropriate? I guess you could say ‘love on him,’ but not in an inappropriate way. We hug and stand close to [one] another, but that’s just because we’re close. I do like him, but I want to know if it’s wrong to be close, physically, to him…”
This is an interesting question not just pertaining to a guy friend, like in this case, but also a boyfriend. Do you think it’s appropriate to snuggle?
I personally believe that when you are a married couple, there is nothing wrong with snuggling. It is not a sin, but remember that if you are single and cuddling with the opposite sex, you may be putting yourself in the way of temptation. You may end up pushing the envelope and kissing (and more), and you don’t want to set yourself up for sin.
I do think you need to use wisdom and need to guard your heart because sometimes the best of friends, even if platonic, can fall in love. Have you ever heard someone say, “I married my best friend”? I have, and it can happen, so set your boundaries up and don’t be alone with the opposite sex. Stay in groups, go to the movies, bowling, out to eat, etc.
If you think you won’t possibly be tempted to either fall into lust or sin, don’t kid yourself. Also, the Bible says to avoid all appearances of evil/sin (1 Thessalonians 5:22).
For example, don’t sleep over at a guy friend’s house, even if he is your best friend and you would never even like him or kiss him. Why? Because you don’t want to send the wrong message, not only to your friend, but also to others. This is called “stumbling someone”—when you show them something that is a sin or can be harmful to your relationship to God or that dishonors Christ, and you make like it’s not a big deal or overlook it as if it isn’t wrong.
Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” (Genesis 3:1)
You may be blameless, but guess what? It doesn’t help others who may be looking to you as an example. They could then think, “Well, Sally did it, so I can snuggle or hang out at Johnny’s late or overnight.” This is how Satan works: He makes it SEEM innocent, just like he tempted Eve; he had her question what God said by asking, “Did God really say…?” (Genesis 3:1) This is not a matter of rules, but what is BEST for your life. Trust me, there were times in my life when I thought it was no big deal to hang out with a guy friend and I realized that he didn’t honor me spiritually or purity-wise.
Abstain from all appearance of evil. (1 Thessalonians 5:22)
PI Girls, if a guy puts you in an uncomfortable situation, he is NOT the one for you. Even if he is your “close” friend, he can’t be that close to you if he doesn’t respect that you are a Princess, and no one is cuddling with you until they put a ring on it! Just saying, girls—put your helmet of salvation on and really think about the scenario…what seems innocent can turn into the biggest regret of your life. Don’t compromise. As much as it sounds nice, hate to break it to ya, but it sounds like a slippery slope.
Be excited for the one you DO get to marry and the one you can cuddle with and spend the rest of your life with! In the meantime, get a puppy or snuggle with your family or loved ones, not just a random guy, even if he is your “BFF.”
Love you, girls. I’m praying for you! God bless you, PI Girls!
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Do YOU think it’s appropriate to cuddle with a boy, even if he’s just a friend? Comment below!