Every week I go through the “Girl Talk” section of Project Inspired and look for those seeking advice and counsel. I want to help answer some questions you may have about living out your Christian walk of faith and any miscellaneous topics! We want PI to be a safe place where you can ask questions and become bold in your faith. We love you, PI readers!
This week, we take a look at a question a PI Girl asked about whether she should let her crush hold her hand or hug her. The anonymous PI Girl wrote: “Is it bad to hug your crush or to hold your guy crush’s hand?”
Click here to read the full post or to join the Girl Talk forum.
Should You Let Your Guy Crush Hold Your Hand?
First, it depends if you like the guy. Then, if he likes you back, I would say yes, holding hands is innocent. If you are boyfriend and girlfriend, then obviously that is totally fine. I would say in certain settings you will want to use wisdom on PDA. You don’t want to be all over each other in youth group, for example, or so inseparable in front of family or friends. When hanging out together, or walking on the beach or into a restaurant or park, it’s nice to hold hands or to give a loving quick hug.
Public Displays of Affection: What’s Appropriate vs. Inappropriate
Do you think that holding hands or hugging for long periods of time can lead to more intimacy with your crush? This could be another question some may have, for example, if you are watching a movie. I would say in general if you are in middle school, holding hands is fine and you should try to really limit it to that if possible because you are so young. If you are in high school, most people tend to hold hands, hug and kiss, but the key is to hang out in groups (group dates if you are able). It’s wise to have accountability if you want to keep the boundaries in your purity and/or in regard to temptation physically with your crush.
One PI Girl on the Girl Talk forum commented and gave this advice to her PI peer: “Well, I would say it depends. Are your parents okay with that? Do you feel comfortable with it? Are you prepared for what might happen next? Because a small thing like holding hands could lead to you guys dating, and more physical stuff. Are you ready for a committed relationship? Ask yourself those questions, and of course pray! Because holding hands may seem small, but it’s really not. Also is he a godly man? I know that may sound stupid, but who are you willing to invest in?”
I agree with this other PI Girl that you should consider if you are a couple or developing a relationship. I think it is harmless if you are dating and/or getting to know each other, but I do believe that for the younger teens like middle schoolers, you really should guard your heart and wait until the guy is your official boyfriend before letting him hold your hand, if that makes sense. It’s always wise to set a boundary in your mind of what you are going to allow and what you will not allow.
Another PI Girl said that she and her boyfriend discussed what they will and will not allow:
“Personally for me, I have been dating my boyfriend for a while and we hold hands occasionally, but have strict rules about if either one of us has any type of feeling or thought about impurity, then we talk openly about it … It’s different for everyone and I respect people…who [have] the courage and self-control to hold off!”
PI Girls, what do you think about holding hands with your guy crush? Does it make you nervous to hold hands or do you think it’s normal and fun? Do you think hugging is okay?