Every week, I go through the “Girl Talk” section of Project Inspired and look for those seeking advice and counsel. I want to help answer some questions you may have about living out your Christian life and walk of faith! We want PI to be a safe place where you can ask questions.
Recently, a PI Girl asked if it was weird to wait to have your first kiss at the altar. I want to address waiting on God in general, and then go into topics such as waiting on God for your first kiss at the altar and/or for the right person to marry, waiting on the direction of your life in your career and so forth. All of these questions are important and are significant, and they matter to God. He created us and knows the depths of our hearts, minds, our motives, our desires and our dreams. We need to trust in HIM and HIS perfect timing, and that God teaches us in life to walk with Him, to grow, to learn to be patient and to ultimately grow in character (Romans 5:4-5, Ecclesiastes 3).
Let’s first address the question “Is waiting on God weird?” First off, no, it is not weird to wait on God. You may have moments of doubt, or may feel some warfare or persecution because you are trying to not take matters into your own hands, but waiting on God’s timing is a part of the journey of faith and trusting God. We also need to do our part in whatever it is we are praying for or asking God to do in our lives. We need to take personal responsibility, to take a step of faith in the process as we wait on the final result from the Lord. For example, you can pray to attend a specific school, but until YOU apply, the answer will be no. You have to fill out, print and submit paperwork and the materials, and you can wait and pray about it, and then you will find out if you have been accepted to your potential school.
No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame, but shame will come on those who are treacherous without cause. (Psalm 25:3)
Another question, which was recently addressed at JUCE TV Network, is whether or not you should wait to kiss until you arrive at the altar and get married. This, of course, varies from person to person and will be a conviction for some, but shouldn’t necessarily be mandatory for all, unless you feel that is what God is calling you to. We may have something God wants us to do, but others may court and have a kiss (read my article “Is Kissing a Sin?” here). Of course, it is proper to not kiss every boy, and definitely you need to guard your heart as the Word of God says, but you need to seek Jesus and counsel within your fellowship group, and ask a parent for advice. Never give into temptation or to a guy if he is pressuring you! Set the standards high! My theory is a guy is not worthy of kissing you until he is committed to you.
Click here to watch the JUCE TV interview with a godly couple who chose in their relationship to have their first kiss with each other at the altar.
PI Girls, if you have kissed a guy or have been physical with a guy, you need to remember that the man God has for you will treat you like ROYALTY and will respect your purity. Don’t feel pressured, even with so-called “Christian” guys, because they can also try to pressure people. It goes both ways, too—we need to try to dress modestly and not stumble—but I pray you will listen to the Holy Spirit and the conviction in your heart.
PI Girls, if you have a bad feeling or don’t feel comfortable in a situation, tell the guy, “No, thank you” and “I don’t feel comfortable” and so forth. If he respects you, he will admire that and can wait until he is mature enough to commit. If not, he can move along. As they say in London, “Keep calm and carry on.” The right guy will honor you, the wrong guy will pressure you. Period. Girls, you will know what is right from wrong; listen to your gut. I pray you preserve your purity, even with not kissing guys, because seriously, it is NOT worth jeopardizing your heart, emotions and feelings for someone who is NOT your husband. I know it may seem extreme, but that is my personal opinion and my advice from personal experience.
God says in Proverbs 4:23, “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” The Bible also tells us to not awaken love until the right time…hmm, sounds to me if you’re dating (getting to know the person) and want to kiss, that is awakening love, and maybe could not be the right time. Why not build a friendship, and if the guy is WORTHY, he can court you into a proper relationship leading with the intention of marriage? You can have guy friends and get to know them, but kissing can lead to other things, so protect your heart, mind and emotions.
Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, not to awaken love until the time is right. (Song of Solomon 8:4)
Regarding a job, career or following your dreams, remember that God will test your character before promoting you. In James 4, God tells us to humble ourselves and that the humble shall be exalted and the proud will be brought down low. Also, the Word tells us that Joseph (the dreamer) went through many years of suffering in jail, was falsely accused, was betrayed by his own brothers and so forth. God raised him up with favor and honor because Joseph was faithful to God and to his master. Joseph didn’t bow to sin in the times of temptation when he could have been with Potipher’s wife (who tried to seduce Joseph, and then lied and said Joseph tried to be with her). Joseph interpreted dreams, and through his gifting, God used that to bring favor to him in the eyes of the ruler. Joseph went from the pit to the palace over time, and in God’s Holy Word it says (underline this, PI girls…):
Until the time came to fulfill his dreams, the LORD tested Joseph’s character. (Psalm 105:19)
An article in Christianity Today quoted a Canadian photographer about character, and I really thought the quote was inspiring and true to how we can feel when being “developed” spiritually, like how a photograph is:
Character, like a photograph, develops in darkness. —Yousuf Karsh
PI Girls, before you chase after money, relationships, power or success, follow JESUS and pursue the things of God’s Kingdom that are of eternal value. Honestly, money comes and goes; people, power and fame fade; and this life doesn’t last forever. Is waiting on God weird? No, absolutely not…in fact, it is the BEST choice you can make by putting your hope in God’s Word, which does not return empty or void (Isaiah 54). God ALWAYS keeps His covenant and will protect you. You may not see results overnight or have everything on your dream list come to pass the WAY you thought, but God’s ways are HIGHER (Isaiah 55) and yes, ultimately, are BEYOND better than what you can fathom or imagine (Ephesians 3:20).
I can vouch for that. Just look at what God is doing in my life and Nicole’s life. I am beyond grateful and thankful she came into the Kingdom and that I didn’t give up hope when praying for her salvation. Imagine if I did…we may not have a Project Inspired, and maybe you wouldn’t be reading this now.
Girls, GOD has plans WAY BIGGER than you could ever dream of. I know it’s hard when you can’t see it, but that is what faith is. Faith is hoping for the best in the unseen…but guess what? God proves Himself to be true time and time again. Just look around you and count your blessings from when you did wait on God, and you have your answer.
Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments. (Deuteronomy 7:9)
If you would like to contact me, have any other questions or need prayer, message me: