Every week, I go through the “Girl Talk” section of Project Inspired and look for those seeking advice and counsel. I want to help answer some questions you may have about living out your Christian life and walk of faith! We want PI to be a safe place where you can ask questions.
This week’s post comes from a PI Girl who’s having her first crush and is unsure of how to handle it.
Click here to read the full post or to join the Girl Talk Forum and ask us YOUR question about anything from faith to boys to peer pressure and more!
The best thing when you have a crush on someone is to build a genuine friendship and let the guy pursue you. Guys usually know how to chase and want to be the one to initiate.
If you are of age to properly be courted into a marriage, I would say bathe your friend or crush in prayer and ask for God’s perfect will for that relationship. Other times, a crush isn’t so serious. Since this particular PI Girl is having her first crush, it may come and go, and in life she will probably have little crushes until she meets “The One.”
The good news is you don’t need to do anything but be yourself. The worst thing to do is lock up, act awkward or be so quiet you just aren’t yourself because you’re so nervous. In life, normally they say people date and marry their best friend, probably because they are both themselves with no masks, and are free and happy together. You don’t want to hide when you are in front of your crush, but nerves are normal.
Be friendly and smile and say hi when you see him, but don’t be overly flirty. You want to treat him the same way you treat your peers in class, and make him wonder. Let him lead you, pursue you and ask you out. If he doesn’t know how to do that and/or if he doesn’t want to, then let him move on and know your worth doesn’t change.
Let’s review the main points of advice for what to do when you have your first crush.
1. Be yourself: You don’t need to do anything but genuinely be yourself. Don’t put on a front or a mask—it will only heighten any awkwardness about knowing if he feels the same way. Just be the happy you!
2. Let him pursue: You don’t need to calculate or figure out what to do. If a guy likes you, he will ask you out. You don’t need to chase him. Guys like the hunt.
3. Be friendly: This means smile, be kind and treat him like any other guy friend you have in class. They say most people marry their best friends, so don’t overthink everything and just enjoy a nice friendship. Crushes can come and go, but a friendship lasts much longer!
4. Smile: Laugh, have a good time and don’t focus on him, but just be present. Don’t lock up and be awkwardly quiet—that is the worst thing to do. Be with your friends and laugh and make him wonder what makes you so happy! Let him try and figure you out! 🙂
5. Know your value: Your worth isn’t altered if this “crush” of yours doesn’t ask you to your first dance or to the football game after-party on Friday night. Your value sure doesn’t change if he ignores you or doesn’t reciprocate. Sometimes crushes are fleeting, but know that the guy who God has for you will pursue you, love you and cherish you forever! Don’t overthink the relationship, because if you’re in middle school, it could fizzle out, and in high school, many people change (but in some cases there are high school sweethearts). Just guard your heart and know Jesus loves you! Your value is that you are child of the Most High God! (Read Psalm 139.)
But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. (1 Peter 2:9)
If the guy asks you out, just make sure he respects you, that your parents give the green light and that you protect your purity. Ask God for wisdom and know that you are the Lord’s Princess! Don’t compromise or put yourself in tempting situations. Again, a crush can be harmless, but this is some advice for those who never have had one! God bless you, PI Girls!
PI Girls, comment below on how you handled your first crush.
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