Girl to Girl Talk: Should I Let My Crush Hold My Hand?
Written by Christi Given | December 29, 2015
Every week, I go through the “Girl Talk” section of Project Inspired and look for those seeking advice and counsel. I want to help answer some questions you may have about living out your Christian life and walk of faith! We want PI to be a safe place where you can ask questions.
This week, a PI Girl asked if she should hold her crush’s hand.
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“My guy friend and I have been hanging out for a while now (not officially dating) and today we are going to the park for a walk or run, just the two of us… I have a feeling he will try to hold my hand… I want him to. Should I let him?”
If you like your guy friend as more than a friend, and the feeling is mutual, then I don’t see why you can’t hold hands. If you think he will hold your hand but really isn’t interested, then I would suggest guarding your heart. Of course only God knows man’s intentions, but I would say that if your crush wants to hang out one-on-one and is expressing interest in you and asks you to be his girlfriend, fine. If not, and if there are red flags or he sends mixed messages, be honest and open and tell him you would rather hold hands only if you were in a committed relationship.
Here are five tips to help you decide if you should hold your crush’s hand:
1. Ask God to give you discernment. (James 1:5)
2. Guard your heart. (Proverbs 4:23)
3. Use wisdom: In the situation, don’t deceive yourself—you will know if he says something wrong or ungodly. Don’t just hold his hand if he doesn’t pursue you in a godly way. If you know he is a player or flirts with everyone…the answer is NO. If he is respectful and a gentleman, sure—and use discretion.
4. Ask yourself if he is walking with God and can lead you: If not, then I would say do not hold hands, and hang out in group settings. Also, in general, hanging out in a group is safer and a better choice. (Of course in middle school and high school, this is appropriate; for adults, this may be different, but women of God need to be watchful so that they don’t open the door to the enemy or a counterfeit.)
5. Don’t let hand-holding turn into more or sin: Hand-holding is pretty innocent, but it could lead to kissing. Every situation is different, but don’t let him lead you on or pretend to be a gentleman but then send confusing signals. If he is your boyfriend, I don’t see why you cannot hold hands. Pray about this and listen to the Holy Spirit, and God will guide you. If you have peace, you will know you are in God’s good will; if not, then maybe ask a mentor or parent for further advice.
PI Girls, what would you do in this situation? How can I pray for you?