Girl to Girl Talk: What Godly Girls Really Want in a Guy

    Every week, I go through the “Girl Talk” section of Project Inspired and look for those seeking advice and counsel. I want to help answer some questions you may have about living out your Christian life and walk of faith! We want PI to be a safe place where you can ask questions.

    Join our Girl Talk forum by clicking here.

    Since it is the month of love, I want to share some words from a Project Inspired Girl who recently posted on Facebook about what she believes godly girls want in a guy. Here’s an excerpt from what she wrote:

    “So here is the answer you have all been waiting for…GODLY GIRLS want Jesus.

    We don’t care about anything or anyone else more than Jesus. We love Jesus. We want to serve Jesus all of our lives. And if Jesus tells us to be single forever, we will do it.

    So know that there is nothing you can do to take His place. However, if we believe you are a man who will make us more effective in living out God’s personal calling in your life, we will be drawn to you….”

    Bottom line, if you are a woman of God, you will desire a man of God.

    We also want someone we can look up to as a leader in the relationship, one who draws us to Christ, not away from Him. We desire to be able to openly discuss our relationship with God unashamedly and also to be able to grow together with the man of our dreams. We desire to flourish in our home church and to have strong fellowship within our study groups and so forth. It’s not just important for our man to be a provider and leader; we first and foremost want a man of integrity. Not someone who is perfect, but who is chasing after the Kingdom of God.

    What kinda of guy do YOU look for? Are there characteristics or traits that you desire to have in a husband someday? What are those qualities?

    On the flip side, what traits will you have to contribute to a godly relationship? Do you desire to become a Proverbs 31 woman?

    Here’s what the Message version of the Proverbs 31 verse says:

    A good woman is hard to find,
    and worth far more than diamonds.
    Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it.
    Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long.
    She shops around for the best yarns and cottons and enjoys knitting and sewing.
    She’s like a trading ship that sails to faraway places
    and brings back exotic surprises.
    She’s up before dawn, preparing breakfast
    for her family and organizing her day.
    She looks over a field and buys it,
    then, with money she’s put aside, plants a garden.
    First thing in the morning, she dresses for work,
    rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.
    She senses the worth of her work,
    is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.
    She’s skilled in the crafts of home and hearth,
    diligent in homemaking.
    She’s quick to assist anyone in need,
    reaches out to help the poor.
    She doesn’t worry about her family when it snows;
    their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.
    She makes her own clothing,
    and dresses in colorful linens and silks.
    Her husband is greatly respected
    when he deliberates with the city fathers.
    She designs gowns and sells them,
    brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.
    Her clothes are well-made and elegant,
    and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.
    When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,
    and she always says it kindly.
    She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,
    and keeps them all busy and productive.
    Her children respect and bless her;
    her husband joins in with words of praise:
    “Many women have done wonderful things,
    but you’ve outclassed them all!”
    Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.
    The woman to be admired and praised
    is the woman who lives in the Fear of God.
    Give her everything she deserves!
    Festoon her life with praises!

    Amen and amen to that! PI Girls, make sure you really seek out the Lord before giving yourself away to anyone, whether it be emotionally or physically. Honestly, it’s not worth hurting yourself to just assume any guy who even “says the right things” is going to protect your purity and walk with God. I love what Ruth wrote about what “godly women want.” That doesn’t mean godly women are perfect, but they are seeking a perfect Savior.

    I pray this message blessed you and encourages you to be prudent and wise in your selection of dating and in courtship leading to marriage.

    God loves you SO much—more than the stars in the sky and more than the grains of sand on the seashore!

    PI Girls, do you think that God is #1 in your life? Do you agree with PI Girl Ruth’s post?

    Christi Given
    Christi Given
    Christi Given is a former Trinity Broadcasting Network host for the JUCE TV NETWORK, and has been featured on the Hillsong Channel. Her passion is to reach the youth with the Gospel and her music. Given has been writing for Project Inspired since 2011, and hopes to encourage the younger generation in their faith.


    1. Proverbs 31 has always scared the crap outta me. I KNOW I’ll never be able to measure up to all that. I have no place to expect anything from a guy, because I’m imperfect and can’t fit the criteria for a good female.

      I’m kind of wondering if Proverbs 31 puts this pressure on all girls that have grown up hearing it, and if this might hurt their relationships and self-esteem. I’ll never be able to jump up every single morning and cook a delicious meal for my huge, happy family, then go be a succesful, creative, businesswoman, then go make clothes for my huge happy family, and then go volunteer at the homeless shelter, and keep a garden, and make sure my many many children and my husband all get some time and feel loved and cared for, all the while being cheerful, wonderful, beautiful, humble, friendly, kind, and fun to be around. Oh, and I should stay up late every night to do this, then jump up at four AM to start my next perfect day. I’d crash and burn a week later. So, should I go hide away until I’m perfect enough for God and a man?

      And something I’m wondering is if there’s a laundry list like this for guys in the Bible.

      • I understand how you feel! Maybe because I want to have a career as an adult, or maybe because I don’t want to always have to be a traditional Christian woman. Anyway, I hope God thinks it’s ok for me to do other stuff too. Don’t get me wrong, some day I want to get married and have kids, but I don’t want to never be able to have a career or anything outside my house. I also don’t want to have a lot of kids, maybe 2 or 3, but I’ve heard that Christian women are supposed to basically have as many kids as possible. I guess I just don’t want to be an old fashioned woman like that. It’s confusing.

        • Gymnastics14, there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a career. God isn’t going to just tolerate it — if you seek him in everything you do, he’s going to BLESS it! Take this from someone studying to be a chemical engineer, and more seeking God and wrapped up in his person and his grace than ever — doing this science for God, loving my coworkers genuinely, working hard, it’s a really beautiful thing. There’s lots of good choices you can make in life — having a family (small or large), having a career (full time or part time), getting married (or staying single) — all of them are good. God’s will for your life isn’t that you get a job or get married or have kids — it’s that you know him, and let your knowing of him determine who you are. Everything else flows out of that. His will for you is to give thanks in every day, and to get to know him better, and to trust that he takes care of all things. If you need to make a decision — whether to go to college, what to major in, whether to date a boy, when to get married, how many kids to have — just ask for wisdom. James 1:5 says “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” That’s James talking to the people of God, which means it’s James talking to you. I can guarantee that it’s going to be messy. You’re going to make mistakes. You’re going to need grace. But the beauty of it all is, God’s grace will always, ALWAYS be enough for your mistakes. So be brave! Take a chance! Chase that career! Ask God for wisdom, and don’t be afraid to fail, because the bible is chock full of failures that God used to do absolutely incredible things.

      • You asked if you had to wait to be perfect enough for God and a man. Well goatwrangler, you don’t. You don’t need to to plant a garden, make clothes, learn to sew, or cook a huge breakfast for your whole family. Proverbs 31 is just trying to convey the message that a Godly women should be diligent for the Lord, speak kindly, generous, and loving. Proverbs 31 should be an inspiring chapter to read for young women who need advice on how to live their life, so don’t feel pressured by it. Don’t hideaway, be a light for others by just keeping your eyes on Jesus.

      • goatwrangler, don’t worry! There is one thing, and one thing only that you have to do to be good enough for God.


        That’s it. He thought you were worth making. Worth dying for. Because of who you are right now, who you are at your messiest and most broken and most dysfunctional — even then, you were worth dying for. You were worth /creating/.

        God doesn’t want you to do all things, he just wants you to do what you can do all with love. Proverbs 31 is praise for one woman, one who really liked knitting and sewing (and who pretty much owned her own business, might I point out). You’re not that woman. You’re your own woman, your own self, and a beloved child of God. In Ephesians, Paul says, “we are saved by grace through faith, so that no man can boast.” You don’t earn your way into being good enough for God, or good enough for marriage, you’re already loved. You’re already enough. I guarantee you THE Proverbs 31 woman got angry sometimes. She got frustrated. She snapped at her kids. She was afraid. She got upset with her husband. David was a man “after God’s own heart” but he killed a man to sleep with his wife. So he screwed up pretty bad. But God still did amazing things with his life — not because David tried hard enough, but because things that are in contact with God can’t help but become beautiful. Get to know God, get to know his grace intimately, and that beauty will rub right off on you, cover you whole with grace and beauty. We’re all so messy. We all need so much grace. But the power of our God, the uniqueness of our God, is that his grace is enough, and his love is enough, and he already saved us.

    2. Here is my lovely list for what I look for in a guy! I don’t just want a Christian guy, but one who is going to bring me closer to Christ. One who focuses on Christ first, not me. One who is willing to pray with me. Whatever guy I end up with, unless I remain single, needs to be patient because I get on people’s nerves easily and… yeah! He needs to be able to laugh at himself and me.(I know that sounds weird but I don’t want some guy who thinks that he has to skirt around my feelings… I can take the teasing!). It would be nice if he can cook, since I cannot. He needs to initiate the boundaries for our relationship. That’s about all I got XD

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