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    God, Then Dad, Then Boys! – Written By PI Girl, Morgan!

    I am going to be frank, and I have not even told some of my best friends about this–this freshman year has come with a lot of trials, a lot of challenges, low grades, and has resulted with me not being the Christian I should be. I have sworn far more than I ever had and not listened to my mother’s best wishes for me, but sometimes only remembering the positive things I have done is the only thing I have left to hold onto. I have realized that if we don’t stay dependent on only earthly values–values such as the desire to have a boyfriend over the desire to stay single and wait for the right guy–this most certainly will lead to us being happy and successful during our teenage years.

    In the book “Redefining Beauty” by Jenna Lucado (which can be purchased at the C28 store!) Lucado gives us a taste of why purity, an active father-figure, and God are important characteristics in our lives. She reminds us as young girls to keep our priorities as the Bible tells us to:

    Put our Heavenly fathers first, then our earthly dads, then our want to have a boyfriend as our very last priority.

    I do not know why I am as unappreciative of my father as I am. He works hard for our family and before he started working this year made sure I was ready for school with a lunch packed for me, and was always willing to give me a ride to and from school. Lucado states that a father’s marriage relationship with a mother is the most important life lesson on dating a young girl could ever receive. I am–that is, I should be–very blessed to have a father who has been married to my amazing mom for almost 20 years. And I am, because the relationship my parents share is a great example of what I should look for when I am searching for a future boyfriend.

    The reason this article is titled “God, Then Dad, Then Boys,” is because that is the order of which God wants us to set our priorities–we are to make our relationship with Jesus the most important by spending time with Him everyday, making time to read the Bible for His life advice for us, and live it in our lives.

    Our Fathers

    Our fathers are there to constantly remind us we are beautiful. Although the way a father expresses his care is much different than that of a mother, we can rest assured that a true father will always be there for us at the end of the day. But the beautiful thing about God is that if we don’t have that “perfect” father, He in return will be both our Father and our God if we choose to accept Him as that role in our lives.

    Boys

    As for boys, I have learned the hard way that it is better to be single than have a boyfriend. Although many would instantly argue with me about such a statement, I am not going to regret saying it. Being a girlfriend takes time and commitment. And in my opinion, if you cannot be satisfied with yourself, how are you ever going to find complete happiness in having a girlfriend or boyfriend? I have a great friend. He is…well…a he, and we have spent lots of quality time together.

    He wishes to be my friend because he values my friendship and wouldn’t want to go off and waste it on a relationship. And I know exactly what he means. I have seen him struggle with his choice of his two girlfriends during freshman year. I have helped him out, but whenever I do, I never realize how smart I am on relationship advice for myself. It’s easy to help others, but sometimes impossible to help ourselves.

    Find a Relationship Example!

    I challenge you to find a great example of a marriage, and have that be your relationship example, but also have an example of an individual or couple with a not-so-good relationship. For example, I know of a Christian couple who wanted to get married earlier than planned because they were being tempted, whereas I know of a relationship in my family where the couple has been married for over fifty years but if they were young, this relationship would turn into a divorce.

    Even Nicole inspires me–although she had bad experiences with guys in the past, she found her current husband and she’s very happy and excited with what she has done with her life thus far with him. I also feel that we should have a very reasonable expectation when it comes to a relationship. Don’t go looking towards Hollywood for an example, because that’s the equivalent of looking to the devil for life advice. Although it may seem impossible to find a decent guy in today’s world–a guy that is good looking, nice, and treats you like gold–remember there is no law that states you must have a boyfriend at the ridiculously young age of 13. And the couple I mentioned earlier, who got married early than expected? The woman in the relationship never had a boyfriend and put school before boys.

    Find Your Inner Beauty!

    I think what a lot of girls are missing is inner beauty. That voice inside themselves that says, “I don’t need to be beautiful or need a boyfriend to call me beautiful because I AM beautiful.” Although God does not directly say to get straight A’s in school, I do know He wants the best for us because it says that over and over and over again. “Thus says the LORD: ‘Stand in the ways and see, And ask for the old paths, where the good way [is], And walk in it; Then you will find rest for your souls…’ ” I actually wrote an essay about roads in the beginning of eighth grade and how they are applicable to life, how one road leads to a path of good while the other road leads to evil. I think this verse would’ve been a perfect addition to include in this essay.

    I Dare You to Be a Rebel!

    I dare all of us Christian girls–me including–to be rebels. To not be another girl with a boyfriend, to be proud to be single, to have great relationships with our Father in heaven. I want to change. I will change this summer. I want Jesus to be my best friend again and I want to share Bible verses proudly and wear my Bible shirt verse I was given for Christmas without sounding like a hypocrite for not being a Christian this year.

    I am not here to be awarded any kind of prize. I am simply here to state that I think we need Jesus as our No. 1 man in our lives, and that if we live for the values of our world, we will be put in a hole that we feel we cannot get ourselves out of. I am not sure what my future husband is going to be like, but I know Jesus only makes beautiful things and that I have a great purpose in life if I put God first, daddy second, and boys last.

    Written by PI girl, Morgan Connelly

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    53 COMMENTS

      • You had said in another comment for a purity article about reading “God’s Girl”. I am also reading that for a girls’ Bible study, at school. I just started reading it, I’m on chapter two, but already I can tell its going to be great- plus, my Friends, who have read ahead, say its great and deep. Nice to know other girls are reading it 🙂

    1. This is a great article, exactly what I needed to hear. I’m 14 and just about to enter high school, so this is great advice for me as Christian girl who wants to set an example and dealt walk the walk, not just talk the talk. This is a fantastic article, thank you so much!! 😀

      • I am 15 and just got done with my Freshman year. You’ll find that you may discover yourself greatly this upcoming year–I certainly have. But do heed my advice–this year will be challenging, but stay single for all the RIGHT reasons and maintain those grades (AND DON’T CHOOSE HONORS CLASSES UNLESS YOU CAN HANDLE THEM!), you’ll have a great Freshman year. I hope God will be with you throughout this year!

    2. I totally agree!we as girls should put Jesus first in our lives always!then everything and everyone will fall in place:)even though I am now a junior I have the same trials in school.I loved what you wrote!great job!

    3. You have no idea how much this helps me. For some reason I’ve been allowing my head to be filled with all kinds of crap about what the “perfect life” is. A boyfriend, happy family and riches beyond counting. I admit that I am in a similar situation as Morgan. I’m going to resolve with her that I will be the best possible Christian that I can be, with God beside me, where I belong, and to appreciate my earthly father more, because despite what I may think is good or right or best for me, there’s a reason he knows all he does. 🙂 Thank you so much!

      • Also, who thinks that there should be a similar “Project Inspired”-type thing for guys? I remember reading Nicole’s article about not settling for “beef jerky” and waiting for “steak”, but the fact is there isn’t much left out there. In the meantime, I’ll try to pray that all the guys left in this world will man up!

      • I have the same thoughts on what the “perfect life” should be! When I was younger, I used to hate cleaning and putting away clothes. I thought that I was a princess, and I didn’t deserve to do anything whatsoever! But when I got saved I actually didn’t care really about having to clean! Sometimes though I have a lazy streak!

    4. Now, I agree with most of this article. However, there’s a huge chunk of it that I find rather offensive; what if I don’t have a father? Does that make me somehow broken, as if I need a father to be complete? No, it doesn’t. It just means that I grew up a little differently than most families, and there’s nothing wrong with that. God comes first in my life… but as for my biological father, he’s a guy somewhere in Idaho. I don’t give him much thought, nor do I need to. So, please, keep that in consideration.

      • I am not saying we need fathers in order for our lives to be complete. I am saying that if we do not have a father-figure in our lives, that God can become our Father, as He already is. As I mentioned in the article, this is Jenna Lucado’s main message throughout her book: REDEFINING BEAUTIFUL.

        • God is the father for the fatherless. He is anything we need! He is always there for us! My parents divorced when i was in 2nd or 3rd grade but eventually God gave me an awesome step-father! It doesn’t matter where your father is because even the orphans of this world find their place in God’s kingdom!

    5. Amazing article! I actually do have a problem, however, that is important. I can’t look to a good marriage model because my parents are divorced, and their marriage life before was mediocre at best, violent at worst. My other friends all have parents with happy, healthy, godly marriages, but I hardly ever see them. How can I look for a healthy marriage model when I rarely see my friends and my parents are divorced? Any advice, books, etc.?

      • If you’re looking for some great books to read, try “GUYS ARE WAFFLES, GIRLS ARE SPAGHETTI” and “THE TRUTH ABOUT DATING, LOVE AND JUST BEING FRIENDS” (my personal favorite). Both books are by Revolve Tour speaker Chad Eastham, who is a humerous, but serious author who relates with teens and gives the reader amazing and very practical advice about dating and the realities. GUYS ARE WAFFLES, GIRLS ARE SPAGHETTI, tells about the differences between the genders using the waffle brain and spaghetti brain theories, which explain how the brains are different.

        If you are needing a good relationship/marriage to look at, look at the Bible!! The relationships that people like Paul and Peter have with Jesus, and the chosen ones like David, who wrote his Psalms based off of things we go through everyday, are the perfect example of how God chose imperfect people like us to be in a relationship with Him. Although God unfortunately doesn’t include laws like “thou shall not kiss,” He does give us amazing examples for us to look after!!

      • Read and study the book of the bible song of solomon. it is a love story in the bible, and pay attention to the way the guy treats the girl. Respect, self control, gentleness, and love. That is an example from the bible it is god’s example for us to follow. Also you can look into stories like these because they hold valuable examples, also you can look into the story of hosea, and ruth. I also recommend the book “redeeming love” by francine rivers. that book always encourages me that there are godly loving gentle guys with self control out there.

    6. Great article!! I definitely know where you’re coming from. Also, I never really appreciated my dad until I almost lost him this year to stroke. I can’t wait to have a better relationship with him and God.

    7. Good stuff Morgan! This article is great! I have had a very different experience however, not having a father figure in my life (other than friend’s dads, and an uncle here and there- once in a blue moon). It’s very hard and took me a long time to understand how infinite greater God’s love for us is compared to the Earthly father I was dealt.

    8. Thanks Morgan! That was beautiful – if you put God first, he promises to put everything else together in your life in the best way possible…

      “In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight” Proverbs 6 <3

      • I have a social disorder called Asperger’s syndrome, believe it or not, and it can be really hard for me to “fit in” and obey the “rules” of social areas such as conversations, understanding certain jokes, etc., and I am deathly afraid of loud sudden noises. I find that this is something I’ll have to get used to for the rest of my life, and I don’t consider myself to have a disorder, just a few “road blocks.” But it does come with it’s perks, like the God-given ability to be a good writer. Go hard! I am very talkative, but you don’t have to talk in order to stand out, you can go against the norm by doing things like dressing modestly and being kind to everyone, which is sometimes impossible to do, but will make you stand out and shine in good ways!!

    9. Sometimes I bring myself down because of the fact that I’m single, my older and younger sisters both have had boyfriends and I have always felt that I don’t fit in because of it. They are both more popular than me, I don’t really have many friends. The other day my whole family tried to convince my dad to let me date but now I realized how wrong I was. I’m only a freshman and my sister just graduated from high school. I am so grateful for my mom and dad because I know they are only looking for my well being and I’m so glad they both have put strong Christian beliefs on me. My sister is always upset because our dad doesn’t let us wear shorts but I know dad just want us to be modest. I love this site because it helped me realize that my dad has only been doing the right things, and I’m grateful for that. I’m single and never had a boyfriend. And I’m proud. Thank you to everyone who runs this site. 🙂

      • Hell I’m nearly 30 and still single. All my friends are younger than me and have kids or are married with kids. All my siblings have a relationship/marriage and/or kids. I’ve dated but apparently I scare them away or something lol. If you’re only 15 then you have PLENTY of time to date. Just don’t let it go too long. Just have fun.

        • *Heck not H***. Please remember that our mouths are to represent our hearts. Curse words and praise coming out of the same mouth don’t mix. Like salt water and fresh water

    10. Thank you all so much for your feedback! I am very blessed to hear how my story is being used in your lives and/or is similar to what you’re going through!! Pray that I change fast–I need to read my Bible more often and I’d like to try and find a good “study buddy” to stay encouraged by and talk with. Again–I’m very blessed that I was able to share my story and advice from one teen to another. Thank you all so much and stay inspired!! ♥

    11. So true! I had my heart broken last year by a guy who acted like a Christian but was using my trusting and loving heart to his advantage. My dad and God helped me through! But now one of my best guy friends and I are showing interest in each other, and while I know nothing will happen for a while because we both want to wait for a relationship, I know God is showing me how a true gentleman should act towards His princess, and my daddy is very happy to see a guy treating me right!!! I love my dad so much, I’m so lucky to have him as my father 🙂

    12. Amazing article Morgan! I’m about to start 7th grade in a few months, and I am scared getting surgery on my back wouldn’t attract boys. Wait, go back I WAS scared getting surgery on my back wouldn’t attract boys, this article made me feel good about being single! Heck I’m going to turn 12 3 days after school actually starts! I don’t need a guy in my life now! Maybe not ever! Thanks for this wonderful article!

    13. Having God as my Father is a wonderful thing. Also, in this artical, you talked about your parents, and that their relationship is a reflection of something that is a lesson to you. To show you what a true relationship is. But what if their relationship was… Ungodly?
      My parents are divorced, and I do realize that many girls go through this, but what am I supposed to take away from that? My mother has had three husbands. I am the child of her second, along with my twin brother. Growing up with noone at first, then a man I was afraid of was hard for me. My father was hardly there, and because of that I have not had what I would like to consider a father-daughter relationship. And what my brother has gone through, i can’t even imagin. We’re 14 now, and I am honestly scared for my brother. He had not the father he wanted to grow up with and that has brought the two of us further and further apart, to where we are at the point where He chose to move out. I never see him anymore. He moved in with our father. And I am scared that things will get worse because he never realized that he had and has a great father called God.
      Even at the same time I am scared to make the same mistake as my mother. I have not gone to the point where i have chosen to date. I want to wait for the man God made for me and me for him. I am just scared that I’ll mess that all up, because i don’t have anyone to learn from about the perfect relationship…

    14. Thank you very much. Habakkuk 3:18 “Yet I will rejoice in the Lord. I will be joyful in God my Savior.” Thank you for helping me to be joyful no matter what the circumstances, boyfriend or not and for helping me to put Christ where he belongs as the first one and only true love of my life. God bless.

    15. That was amazing, and a total encouragement! I felt the same way this year but none of my friends agreed and I even said yes when a boy asked me out because after a while I thought I wanted one, now I

    16. DIDO SISTA! this is da best article yet! im going to take the challenge… ive never had a bf… ive come close but no official boyfriend.. so im gonna stay that way till Jesus knows when the time’s rite! im GONNA BE A REBEL!

    17. Im really glad you wrote this article Morgan. I read this a week or so ago and i keep coming back to it. It opened my eyes to realize how important it is to have that order in my life. And you are so blessed to have realized how important that is just going into your high school years. I am just starting college here in a couple days, and when i look back at high school, i see all the bad relationships I was in and how i didnt put God first. I have learned the hard way, and im still working on my relationship with my earthly father.Although i have struggled much with that order in the past, i know its something that needs prayer. thanks for posting this 🙂

    18. I definitely agree with all thing listed in this article. I’ve definitely made that decision to put God first in my life and if he’s not after God’s heart, he shouldn’t be after mine. I always pray to God to help me to be his disciple wherever I go. #Godbless

    19. Awesome article! I’m glad to see that I’m not the only girl that is in high school and doesn’t have a boyfriend, and believes that she doesn’t need a boyfriend (because we really don’t. It just adds more stress into our lives, and God definitely doesn’t want us to be stressed out: that’s why He made rules for us to follow). I get funny looks from other girls at school, but then again a lot of them tell me that they wish they’d used that discernment. I AM NOT TRYING TO PUT MYSELF ON A PEDESTAL. I AM ONLY TRYING TO SAY THAT GOD’S WAYS WORK. My sister and my best friend also share these beliefs, and I urge whoever reads this to join us. Because we’ve been able to avoid a lot of drama by keeping to it.

    Project Inspired

    We here at Project Inspired want to guide and inspire teen girls to be true to themselves and to God. We want to show young girls how to be people of value and confidence – how to be your own best selves – through leading a Christian life. Who are we? We're a team of girls, like you. We edit the site, we post to social media, we hang out in the chat rooms and forums. We talk with you, we listen to you, and we love you!

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