I am going to be frank, and I have not even told some of my best friends about this–this freshman year has come with a lot of trials, a lot of challenges, low grades, and has resulted with me not being the Christian I should be. I have sworn far more than I ever had and not listened to my mother’s best wishes for me, but sometimes only remembering the positive things I have done is the only thing I have left to hold onto. I have realized that if we don’t stay dependent on only earthly values–values such as the desire to have a boyfriend over the desire to stay single and wait for the right guy–this most certainly will lead to us being happy and successful during our teenage years.
In the book “Redefining Beauty” by Jenna Lucado (which can be purchased at the C28 store!) Lucado gives us a taste of why purity, an active father-figure, and God are important characteristics in our lives. She reminds us as young girls to keep our priorities as the Bible tells us to:
Put our Heavenly fathers first, then our earthly dads, then our want to have a boyfriend as our very last priority.
I do not know why I am as unappreciative of my father as I am. He works hard for our family and before he started working this year made sure I was ready for school with a lunch packed for me, and was always willing to give me a ride to and from school. Lucado states that a father’s marriage relationship with a mother is the most important life lesson on dating a young girl could ever receive. I am–that is, I should be–very blessed to have a father who has been married to my amazing mom for almost 20 years. And I am, because the relationship my parents share is a great example of what I should look for when I am searching for a future boyfriend.
The reason this article is titled “God, Then Dad, Then Boys,” is because that is the order of which God wants us to set our priorities–we are to make our relationship with Jesus the most important by spending time with Him everyday, making time to read the Bible for His life advice for us, and live it in our lives.
Our fathers are there to constantly remind us we are beautiful. Although the way a father expresses his care is much different than that of a mother, we can rest assured that a true father will always be there for us at the end of the day. But the beautiful thing about God is that if we don’t have that “perfect” father, He in return will be both our Father and our God if we choose to accept Him as that role in our lives.
As for boys, I have learned the hard way that it is better to be single than have a boyfriend. Although many would instantly argue with me about such a statement, I am not going to regret saying it. Being a girlfriend takes time and commitment. And in my opinion, if you cannot be satisfied with yourself, how are you ever going to find complete happiness in having a girlfriend or boyfriend? I have a great friend. He is…well…a he, and we have spent lots of quality time together.
He wishes to be my friend because he values my friendship and wouldn’t want to go off and waste it on a relationship. And I know exactly what he means. I have seen him struggle with his choice of his two girlfriends during freshman year. I have helped him out, but whenever I do, I never realize how smart I am on relationship advice for myself. It’s easy to help others, but sometimes impossible to help ourselves.
Find a Relationship Example!
I challenge you to find a great example of a marriage, and have that be your relationship example, but also have an example of an individual or couple with a not-so-good relationship. For example, I know of a Christian couple who wanted to get married earlier than planned because they were being tempted, whereas I know of a relationship in my family where the couple has been married for over fifty years but if they were young, this relationship would turn into a divorce.
Even Nicole inspires me–although she had bad experiences with guys in the past, she found her current husband and she’s very happy and excited with what she has done with her life thus far with him. I also feel that we should have a very reasonable expectation when it comes to a relationship. Don’t go looking towards Hollywood for an example, because that’s the equivalent of looking to the devil for life advice. Although it may seem impossible to find a decent guy in today’s world–a guy that is good looking, nice, and treats you like gold–remember there is no law that states you must have a boyfriend at the ridiculously young age of 13. And the couple I mentioned earlier, who got married early than expected? The woman in the relationship never had a boyfriend and put school before boys.
Find Your Inner Beauty!
I think what a lot of girls are missing is inner beauty. That voice inside themselves that says, “I don’t need to be beautiful or need a boyfriend to call me beautiful because I AM beautiful.” Although God does not directly say to get straight A’s in school, I do know He wants the best for us because it says that over and over and over again. “Thus says the LORD: ‘Stand in the ways and see, And ask for the old paths, where the good way [is], And walk in it; Then you will find rest for your souls…’ ” I actually wrote an essay about roads in the beginning of eighth grade and how they are applicable to life, how one road leads to a path of good while the other road leads to evil. I think this verse would’ve been a perfect addition to include in this essay.
I Dare You to Be a Rebel!
I dare all of us Christian girls–me including–to be rebels. To not be another girl with a boyfriend, to be proud to be single, to have great relationships with our Father in heaven. I want to change. I will change this summer. I want Jesus to be my best friend again and I want to share Bible verses proudly and wear my Bible shirt verse I was given for Christmas without sounding like a hypocrite for not being a Christian this year.
I am not here to be awarded any kind of prize. I am simply here to state that I think we need Jesus as our No. 1 man in our lives, and that if we live for the values of our world, we will be put in a hole that we feel we cannot get ourselves out of. I am not sure what my future husband is going to be like, but I know Jesus only makes beautiful things and that I have a great purpose in life if I put God first, daddy second, and boys last.
Written by PI girl, Morgan Connelly