“He Says He Doesn’t Like Me But He Keeps Flirting! What Should I Do?”

    I really like this guy who goes to my church. He says that he doesn’t like me but he flirts with me constantly! My friends think he really does like me but won’t admit it because he’s not allowed to date. I’m so confused! What should I do?

    It’s really tough when you like someone who isn’t ready to be in a relationship. Whether he doesn’t feel the same way or he’s not allowed to date, the result is still the same: The relationship is probably not going to happen and that stinks! But here are a few things to think about when it comes to relationships:

    • When a guy says that he’s not ready to date (for whatever reason), it usually means he REALLY isn’t ready to date. It doesn’t feel so great when your crush isn’t crushing you back, but it’s probably best to move on. It’s not a good idea to invest emotionally in a guy who doesn’t want a relationship right now. You deserve a guy who’s able to invest back into you!
    • If a guy flirts with you constantly but has indicated he doesn’t want to date, then it’s up to YOU to set limits! You were handmade by God, which makes you precious and valuable, so you shouldn’t grant someone access to your heart unless he earns it! It might be a good idea to avoid the flirting sessions altogether. When he starts flirting with you, smile politely and excuse yourself. This way your emotions stay intact and you let him know that you know your worth! If he does like you, then he’ll let you know and then you can decide if you want to wait until he is allowed to date.
    • Remember, if a relationship doesn’t work out, that does NOT mean there’s anything wrong with you! It simply means he’s not the right guy for you and that your Prince Charming is still out there. So don’t be so hard on yourself (or the guy) because now you’re free to meet the guy who actually IS for you!

    Relationships can be quite complicated and navigating them can be pretty confusing. Remember, every relationship may not end the way that you want, but God will send the right guy at the right time. You may want to consider courting instead of dating, because that eliminates a lot of potential heartbreak. However, whether you choose to date or wait, be sure to pray about potential relationships BEFORE moving forward! God loves you and He’ll ALWAYS guide you in the right direction!

    What do you girls think? Have you ever been in this situation? What did you do?

    Aysha Ives
    Aysha Ives loves God with her whole heart and has a desire to help hurting people. With a Masters Degree in Psychology, she combines her education and experience with her love for God to help people live whole and fulfilled lives. Aysha is an Author, Mental Health Provider, Youth Church Teacher, and the mother of one gifted little boy whom she absolutely adores. Aysha is honored to be able to share her love of God with Project Inspired readers. Aysha is also the author of God Cares About Your Stuff: How To Believe For Tomorrow When Things Look Utterly, Completely, And Totally Impossible Today, released February 2013- Available at Amazon.


    1. This exact same thing happened to me. The guy I liked wasn’t aloud to date either. He is a pastor’s son. I think he’s aloud to at 18, but I’m not sure. It was hard, but I just got over it. I got busy and focused my attention on other things like school work, my music, and of course, God.

    2. I would say that he might just be a person who is naturally flirty – I know a lot of people like that and it can be annoying. If it really bugs you, I would just follow the advice in the article and politely excuse yourself. Soon enough, he’ll get the message that it makes you uncomfortable.

    3. Usually guys flirt like that so you could fall for them . I know this guy that used to do that to me and later on when I got a boyfriend he asked me if he wasent good enough and I asked him if he likes me and he said he doesnt, he just wanted me to like him because every guy wants to feel like a ladies man.

    4. I just would like to share this with you girls.

      There was this boy in my school who was constantly flirting with me and always touching me. I let it go on for a little while but then I got tired of it. So I set some boundaries and asked him to stop and he got sooooo mad and continued to do it. I then later told my dad and he set this boy straight.

      Then I met this other guy who was really nice and he sat beside me at lunch and stuff like that. I told him about my boundaries and he respected them! It really surprised me like it didn’t change how he treated me and stuff. I came to really like him, and we became good friends. But now he’s moved away sooo…..:( but oh well.

      All this time I’ve known him we never ever ever laid a hand on each other. But in my mind I’ve given him a gold star, for respecting my boundaries, and he’s the only guy I’ve ever met that’s done that. So yeah, I just thought that I would share it with you.

    5. Seriously I have been there! I liked this boy for years, even though he didn’t like me back. I mean, I thought we were meant to be! He has a flirty personality, and so do I, so that didn’t help. Basically, I wish I would have stopped liking him sooner than I did. I though he was one of my best friends because we hung out a lot. It was wasted time and now that I’m married I can see that. We don’t even talk anymore, we are sooooo different now and idk I’m just glad that time in my life is over. Don’t waste your time. If he wats to be in a relationship he will let you know.

      • no need to “try” girl! just be yourself 🙂 God will bring him when the time is right! My cousin didn’t have her first boyfriend ’til junior year of college, and guess what.. 3.5 years later, they are still together and talking about marriage. Just be patient <3

    6. It is also important to note that if you are meant to be together (aka if it is in God’s will), then you will be! And maybe it’s not now or tomorrow, or next year, but that doesn’t mean it’s not going to ever happen. God always has 3 answers… Yes, not now, and I have something/someone better in mind 🙂 So live on, growing closer to the Lord, and eventually when the time is right, you’ll meet him. That’s one of the amazing things about God! He takes care of it so that you don’t have to worry about it 🙂

    7. Wow this is very close to what I am going through right now… but slightly different. I really need advise. I honestly think I know the right answer, I just am hoping that maybe I’m missing something that someone else might see.

      I have some really close friends– a husband & wife– and they are like family. The guy has a brother… and I had heard so much about him that I really wanted to meet him. A great Christian guy with a huge passion for Christ. But a long time went by and I still hadn’t met him. So finally I just laid everything out before God, and I prayed LORD, show me what to do. I know I should give this to You. But I really need an answer. Please show me the door… open or closed. I need to know. If closed, show me, slam it in my face and let me hear the lock click! If open, show me– let me feel the breeze and the light from the other room.
      The next day, I met him. And he was everything that I thought he would be. He even came back a week later to spend an entire week with his brother and so I ended up getting to see him every day that he was here.
      We really hit it off. We have so much in common and can talk about anything. He Loves my cooking, and pays a lot of attention to me. Which lead my parents to think that he was very interested in me.
      But when my dad asked him about it, he said no. Yes he was attracted to me, said he thought I was a beautiful, godly young woman. But that was that.
      I didn’t see or hear from him for six weeks after that.
      Then the other day, I see him. Got to spend the majority of the day with him (amongst others) and he acts like we are best pals. And flirts with me.
      What am I to think?
      Here are some important details that really need to be included.
      He is six years older then me. And he recently ended a relationship that really meant a lot to him. He has told me that he has been greatly impressed by me. And that he loves my family.
      He really means a lot to me. I know a lot about him, and I know that like everyone, he is not perfect, he has his problems. But I care very much about him, and I just don’t understand why he is behaving this way.
      I sent him a message earlier this week, letting him know that I am glad we are friends, and that I’ve been praying for him. He hasn’t responded.
      Sometimes I think I should just give up, and forget about him. But something inside me says be patient and keep praying for him. I won’t stop praying for him, but should I stop being his friend? Should I avoid him so that he won’t flirt with me when (if) I see him again?
      Remember, his brother is like a brother to me, we are very close. But not close enough for me to tell him that I have feelings for his younger brother.

    8. This helps so much thankyou.
      I had been friends with this boy for 4 months now. We would always talk to each other and say hey in a weird voice and it seemed like he would always flirt with me . We would try to push each other off tables as a competition and we would play tips, he even showed me who he was texting and everything. I thought that I had found a nice guy and it seemed like every day my feelings grew for him and I thought that he had felt the same way. One day I decided to tell some of my friends and by the week everyone in my group knew except him and because I have 16 people in my group of course someone told him well more like 4 people told him but he didn’t believe it he thought that they were rumours and I told him that they were as I tried to keep my secret. Last Friday he broke my heart someone brought it up again and by that stage he had a girlfriend and he said “We all know who I like I mean I have a girlfriend and I could never like her”. This hurt more than anything but I played along. That afternoon I texted him the message “I need to tell you something important I like you but I know that you don’t feel the same way but I appreciate you being my friend” (this was the first guy that I had told that I like them) he hasn’t replied and it’s the weekend and I go back to high school tomorrow and I have no idea what I will do. My friends told me that I was brave but was crying to my self every time I hear a heart break song brave? I thought that I was special to him I thought that he felt the same way I thought wrong. But, something inside me still loves him and I thought that I had been hurt before but I would rather be stabbed with a knife then have heard those words. I still have hope that things may work out and my friends tell me that he likes me, but, I don’t think so well at least part of me doesn’t. I am so dreading tomorrow will he love me or will he hate me at least I know that I have to be strong.

      I made the mistake of falling to hard and telling him too late I hope that you don’t.

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