Help! How Do I Tell a Guy That I Don’t Like the Way He Lives His Life!

    Dear Olivia, I’m 17 years old and I’m not interested in guys mostly because most of them act so cheap and don’t have a strong relationship with Christ. So here is my question- HOW DO I TELL A GUY I’M NOT INTERESTED IN HIM AND (in some cases) I DON’T LIKE THE WAY HE LIVES HIS LIFE? I really need guidance on this, it becomes so confusing! Thanks so much!!!

    Hey, girl! Thanks for the questions. I’m going to tackle your second question first. And I’m going to answer it with a question. Do guys ask you if you like the way they live their lives?

    You see, it’s not really up to us to pass on our judgment to others regarding their lives simply because we don’t like the way they live them. We can judge the way a guy lives his life as a “note to ourselves” of what we don’t want in a future husband. In fact, we can judge a person’s life as a “note to ourselves” on how we should or should not act. But when a guy approaches you and tells you that he likes you, it’s kinda harsh to respond with something to the affect of, “Sorry, I’m not interested, oh and by the way…I don’t like the way you live your life.”

    Okay, so maybe that’s not what you’d say, after-all, you’re asking me for the right words, right?

    Well, I’m not going to put words into your mouth, but I feel that in order for you to say what you want to say, you need to take a moment and consider the tone. As Christians, we’re called to be kind and compassionate, and we’re called to bring people to Christ. We’re also called not to judge, unless we are content with being judged in the same manner. So, would you like someone to randomly tell you that he or she does not like the way you live your life? Not unless you asked them in the first place, right?

    I think that it’s fantastic that you have a strong relationship with Christ, and it’s great that you obviously have a good idea of the type of person you want to share your life with. Just be careful not to offend or hurt those who do show interest in the mean time, or give them a reason to have negative feelings about Christians.

    So, here’s what I think you should do.

    1. If you’re approached by someone interested in you, be kind in your response. You can say something like, you’re flattered, but you’re not ready to date. Simple and sweet. You don’t have to go into detail or add that you don’t want to date them because they “act cheap.”
    2. Remember that as a Christian, we must live a life according to our faith. And that includes showing kindness and compassion.
    3. Be a light. You’re a Christian, so if you want to change a person, be a light in their lives. You don’t have to befriend all these guys, but you can be a light when you are around them in the way that you speak to them and act around them. Who knows, your demeanor may inspire them to change and be more godly.
    4. Pray for them! If you want to help them, offer your prayers and ask God to soften their hearts and open their eyes.

    Good luck and God bless!

    Need some advice? Ask your relationship questions in the Ask Olivia Girl Talk forum or in the comments below and I might answer them in a future article!

    Ask Olivia
    Got a question about boys, your besties or God? I'm here to help! As the girl all my friends always came to for advice, I've turned my girl talk, level-headedness and love of Jesus into a job -- one I love because I was a teen not long ago, too! Click into Ask Olivia in our Girl Talk Forums to ask me a question!


    1. Hello.
      I get anxious a lot in my life. I think I have social anxiety, even though I absolutely love meeting and talking to new people. But last Sunday, when i started talking to new people, when I opened up my big mouth- I got really shaky. What should I do? How can I ask God to help me? 🙂

    2. There’s this guy that really really likes me. He is a Christian but he listen to rap and I hate rap. He also smokes and drinks. I’ve been trying to tell him that I don’t think we’re meant to be, but he desperately wants to be with me! Please help! What the heck should I do!

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