I have been having trouble with jealousy. A few months ago my best friend started coming to the same church as me and I introduced her to my good friend. They hit it off really well. But now every time I’m with them I feel like the third wheel. When I’m at my best friend’s house she is always texting my good friend. I feel like I’m the old toy that gets put on a shelf because there is a new toy. I have been praying to God every night asking Him to help me with my jealousy. I would like some advice on what to do, please?
Oh, girl, I’m sorry you’re feeling like a third wheel! That’s no fun. The good news is that your friends hit it off, but now you’re feeling left out of their great friendship. But I think that if your friends are as good as you write, then you should approach them and explain how you’re feeling. You can speak to them one at a time or together, depending on what’s more comfortable for you.
The other thing to remember is that you shouldn’t take this personally. I know that can be REALLY tough, but they’re a new friendship, so they’re still getting to know each other and it’s likely they don’t realize they’re excluding you.
Here’s what I think you should do:
- Talk to your friends! Explain that you’re really happy they’re getting on well, but that when you’re hanging out, it’d be nice to have their full attention. If you’re good friends, then your concerns will be important to them.
- Remember that they’re your pals, but you don’t own them. If you want to make plans with one but she already has plans with the other, don’t reflect that on yourself. It’s like any other friend who has plans with someone else, so don’t let that get to you!
- Make new friends. You don’t want to replace your two good friends, but it’s nice to have different people to hang out with who share your interests.
- Continue to ask God to help you with your feelings of jealousy. You don’t want to be consumed with negative thoughts, especially when you’re around your friends, as it could ultimately affect your attitude and eventually cause friction between all of you.
Good luck and God bless!
Need some advice? Ask your relationship questions in the Ask Olivia Girl Talk forum or in the comments below and I might answer them in a future article!