How can you know if you’re being called to a life of singleness? I’m an 18-year-old college student and feel that God may be calling me to a life of singleness; however, I have a desire to one day be married and have a family. Does God sometimes deny us those desires? Or would he only call to singleness someone who didn’t desire marriage?
Hey girl. Thanks for your question!
I guess the first thing I would ask you is why you think you’re destined to a life of singleness. Is it because you’re 18 and you’re not in a relationship? If that’s the case, I would urge you not to stress out about being in a relationship. It’s still too early to tell. Maybe you just haven’t met the right man and so you should be focused on other things, such as your relationship with God.
I believe that if you focus on Him, you will come to know Him better and, consequently, come to understand what He wants from you and your life.
Sure, there are people who are better suited to a life of singleness. Priests and nuns, for starters, often have a strong desire to just serve God completely, without the distractions of a spouse or children. Jesus and the apostle Paul were also single. In fact, in 1 Corinthians 7:32-35, the latter wrote, “I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to please the Lord; but the married man is anxious about the affairs of the world, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried woman and the virgin are anxious about the affairs of the Lord, so that they may be holy in body and spirit; but the married woman is anxious about the affairs of the world, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to put any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and unhindered devotion to the Lord.” So, Paul was all for being single because he felt that it brought people closer to God.
Does this mean that Paul advised people against marriage? Of course not. He just knew that some people were best suited to marriage, and some people, like himself, were best suited to a single life devoted 100 percent to the Lord.
There are also lay people who never get married and are more comfortable remaining single and living a life devoted to God and helping others. So, a life of singleness is not something to be shunned for or upset about.
I feel like I’ve digressed a tad, but here’s what I think you should do:
- Stop stressing out. You are still young. Focus on the Lord right now and let Him guide your way.
- Trust in Him. He knows more than we do about what we need and what life is better for us.
- Pray and believe. Jesus said in Mark 11:24, “So I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” And in John 15:7, He said, “If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask for whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.” So, don’t fret. Stay strong in your faith and pray for what you desire, and then God will give you what you want. He said so Himself!
Good luck and God bless!
Need some advice? Ask your questions in the Ask Olivia Girl Talk forum or in the comments below and I might answer them in a future article!