I get jealous easily with my boyfriend, [who] is in ninth grade and goes to a different school. I find it hard to trust him, and I don’t want [our] relationship to not go well [or] to break up with him. I mean, I want to be able to trust him. Can you please give me some advice that might help me so I don’t lose my boyfriend? Thanks.
Hey girl, thanks for the question.
Trust plays a really important role in all relationships! And the fact that you don’t trust your boyfriend is not a healthy sign.
Is there a reason why you don’t trust him? Has he betrayed your trust in the past? If so, how? Because I don’t know the answers to these questions, I can’t really give you a definitive answer. So instead, I’ll just focus on the significance of trust in any relationship, as well as the dangers of jealousy.
Trust binds a relationship, just as much as lack of trust destroys it. If there’s a reason not to trust, such as infidelity, then it might be better to let the relationship go, rather than allow that sentiment to destroy your character. If there is no reason behind your lack of trust, or if it’s a result of being hurt in a past relationship, then you have some healing to take care of. And it might be best to let this relationship go until you can heal.
Jealousy is an emotion of the devil. And you really can’t allow yourself to be consumed by it. It can bring out the worst in people and have really bad consequences. If you don’t get a hold of your emotions, then you’re likely to lose your guy anyway.
So here’s what I think you should do:
- Understand that trust is necessary in any relationship. You can’t be happy in any relationship if you’re constantly worried or afraid that your boyfriend or husband is getting up to no good.
- Determine whether the lack of trust is valid. Is your boyfriend deserving of the feeling or not? If he’s not, you really need to learn to trust him. If he is, then you may never be able to trust him, especially if he’s not willing to become trustworthy.
- Recognize that bad relationships can really damage future ones. So, not only should you be very particular about any guy you date, but you should only date those you’d consider marrying.
- Pray. God is the only one who can help change your heart if you ask Him to.
Good luck and God bless!
Need some advice? Ask your questions in the Ask Olivia Girl Talk forum or in the comments below and I might answer them in a future article!