“Help! I Really Like Him, But He Likes Someone Else!”
Written by Ask Olivia | May 21, 2014
Okay, I’m providing a bit of backstory to make it easier to understand if you ever do answer this. SO! Five months ago, my friend, K.M., started telling me about this new, awesome Christian guy at her school and she’d been telling him about me. A few weeks later, she showed him a picture of me and me a picture of him, and we realized we used to go to the same church (the one I currently attend, but he left). So, she kept telling us about the other, saying we’d make a great couple in like three to five years (I’m a freshman and he’s a junior, and neither of us are looking to date even until after graduation).
Well, we met at a dance K.M. was throwing as a fundraiser and he was hilarious to me, and he liked that I thought he was hilarious because apparently most people don’t think that, so despite my timidness, I left a good impression. Well, a couple weeks ago he invited K.M., her boyfriend and me square dancing, and by the end of the night, he seemed genuinely interested in me, and I for sure was interested in him. From what I could tell, he is exactly the kind of guy I want to marry when I’m older. But…then I was talking to K.M. and she said that he’s madly in love with this girl with probably-fatal cancer about five hours south of us who he met through online school.
Even before I knew, I didn’t plan on really pursuing more than friendship until after I graduated or at the very least he did, assuming we still talked and I still held interest in him, but now I’m wondering if it’d be wrong to? Assuming she’s still around in two years, and based off what K.M. told me, if she’s still around he’ll still be interested in her and might even ask her out, would it be wrong to pursue him when it’d be likely he’d be pursuing her?
Welp. That took a novel.
Oh, girl! Sounds like way too much drama already, and you’re not even seeing this guy! My first question is related to your friend, K.M. Why would she get you all interested in this guy if she knew he was interested in another girl? Hmmmmm. Doesn’t make sense to me.
Anyway, you mentioned that neither of you want to date until after graduation, and also that this guy is exactly the kind of guy you would like to eventually marry. Now, I’ve stated this before and I’ll do it again: Dating should be the first stage of finding your husband, so if you’re not ready to get married, you’re not ready to date. And since there’s so much confusion regarding this guy and some secret girl who he’s “madly in love with,” I would be inclined to suggest that you take a step back from this drama so you can get a good look at the situation.
Here’s what I think you should do:
- Remind yourself that you’re not ready to date, and that’s based on your own standards. So getting emotionally involved right now may not be in your best interests.
- Get busy with your friends, activities, hobbies and school so that your mind and days are full.
- Don’t get caught up in boy drama, especially with your friend K.M., who may just be having fun putting herself in the middle of this mess.
- Focus on God and your relationship with Him. In doing so, you will understand your priority to glorify Him in everything that you do, including your future relationships.
Good luck and God bless!
Need some advice? Ask your relationship questions in the Ask Olivia Girl Talk forum or in the comments below and I might answer them in a future article!