So I can feel myself falling for this guy, but there’s a problem. And a big one at that. He’s 29, I’m only 17. I don’t know how or why, but I can feel it. I graduate next spring and I’ll be leaving my hometown. And the thing is it’s hard to see the age gap. It’s not just that he’s not a high schooler, but more that I act like an adult, and I almost think that if I were, say, 5 to 10 years older, maybe, just maybe, I’d be getting asked out on a date soon. I know I can’t do anything about this. I can’t pursue it for more reasons than the 12-year gap. He’s a teacher, too. It’s so hard because he’s such a strong Christian guy…. I need to get over these feelings I’m getting because I know there’s nowhere they can go, not now at least, unless God brings us together in a few years. Any tips on what I can do about this? I’d love some insight.
Hey, girl! Thanks for the question. You wrote, “I can’t pursue it for more reasons than the 12-year gap,” so I’m going to base my response on the assumption that this guy is your teacher and you have a crush on him. It’s the old cliché, I’m afraid! It happens all the time, but it’s just not right, and I think you already know that, otherwise you wouldn’t be asking me. And I’m not even referring to the age gap or the fact that he would definitely get in trouble for getting involved with an underage student, no matter what the circumstances of your relationship.
I’m not going to go on about why this relationship would be wrong, but you did write that maybe you’d be getting asked on a date, which causes me some concern. I’m hoping that the two of you are not flirting or anything. Your teacher has a responsibility to maintain a responsible and trustworthy relationship with his students and anything more than that is a violation of his position as a teacher.
So, here’s what I think you should do:
- You and your teacher both have a responsibility to behave appropriately, but since I can’t direct my suggestions to him, I’ll direct them to you. If you care about this man, take a giant step back! Seriously! Way back!
- Don’t put your teacher in an uncomfortable and possibly job-hindering position. Act like his student. Don’t give him any indication that you have feelings for him and don’t try to get him to have feelings for you.
- Pray! 1 Corinthians 10:13 is clear in its teaching when it states that “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” This means that it is possible to endure and overcome this with God’s help.
- Remember that you’re a Christian girl, who holds Christ above all else, including this desire you have. So don’t allow your emotions for this guy to consume you.
Good luck and God bless!
Need some advice? Ask your relationship questions in the Ask Olivia Girl Talk forum or in the comments below and I might answer them in a future article!