I have a boyfriend currently, but he does drugs. I’ve asked him about it before, the whys and what-ifs, and he talks to me about it pretty openly. I’ve told him that they aren’t good for him, but he always says that the worst thing that could happen is that he gets caught with them. I know it’s not what God wants. He’s a Christian also, but has been struggling with his faith a little. I’ve tried to talk to him about stopping, but usually find myself at a loss for words. What can I do to help him see that this isn’t good for him or what God wants? He says that the conflicts with his mother make him to turn to it, but I keep telling him that God is there too. Any advice on what else to say to him on why it’s bad?
Hey sweet girl! Thanks for trusting me with your question.
I’m going to cut to the chase and guess that your boyfriend already knows that doing drugs is not good, but he has no desire to stop. Why do I believe this? Because he’s making excuses for using and he’s not worried about using. So, rather than focus on helping someone who doesn’t want help, I’m going to focus on you, who I’m hoping does.
I’m not going to tell you to leave your boyfriend or stay with him, but I am going to ask that you think about a few things.
Your boyfriend uses his mother as an excuse, but what does that say about how he will deal with any kind of stress in his life in the future? Today, it will be his mom, but later it will be his work or the bills or marriage. Life is full of stress. Is he going to turn to drugs during these moments of struggle? Is this what you want in a future husband?
I think it’s really important that you take a moment to evaluate whether this is the type of relationship you want to be in. Drugs destroy lives. And your boyfriend will likely choose stronger and more addictive drugs as he becomes more dependent on them. And those who rely on drugs usually need to fund their addictions, and as the drugs get stronger, the costs go up. Addicts often start stealing to feed their addictions. And later, they will hurt people they steal from. Will this be the path for your boyfriend? I don’t know. But it’s totally feasible. Do you want to risk that?
Let’s be honest—your boyfriend may need a real wake-up call before he gives up drugs. But I believe that you also need a wake-up call.
So, here’s what I think you should do:
- Have a serious discussion with your boyfriend. Discuss your concerns with him. You may have to give him an ultimatum. That’s your decision.
- Decide where you want to go with this relationship, if anywhere. Dating is the first step to marriage, I believe. Would you consider marrying this guy? And if so, have you considered the consequences of marrying a person who abuses drugs?
- Pray. Pray that God opens your heart up to the truth of this reality. Pray for the courage to deal with this. And pray for your boyfriend—that his eyes are opened to the destruction that drugs usually cause.
Good luck and God bless!
Need some advice? Ask your relationship questions in the Ask Olivia Girl Talk forum or in the comments below and I might answer them in a future article!