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“Help! My Boyfriend Uses Drugs! How Do I Tell Him They’re Bad?”

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I have a boyfriend currently, but he does drugs. I’ve asked him about it before, the whys and what-ifs, and he talks to me about it pretty openly. I’ve told him that they aren’t good for him, but he always says that the worst thing that could happen is that he gets caught with them. I know it’s not what God wants. He’s a Christian also, but has been struggling with his faith a little. I’ve tried to talk to him about stopping, but usually find myself at a loss for words. What can I do to help him see that this isn’t good for him or what God wants? He says that the conflicts with his mother make him to turn to it, but I keep telling him that God is there too. Any advice on what else to say to him on why it’s bad?

Hey sweet girl! Thanks for trusting me with your question.

I’m going to cut to the chase and guess that your boyfriend already knows that doing drugs is not good, but he has no desire to stop. Why do I believe this? Because he’s making excuses for using and he’s not worried about using. So, rather than focus on helping someone who doesn’t want help, I’m going to focus on you, who I’m hoping does.

I’m not going to tell you to leave your boyfriend or stay with him, but I am going to ask that you think about a few things.

Your boyfriend uses his mother as an excuse, but what does that say about how he will deal with any kind of stress in his life in the future? Today, it will be his mom, but later it will be his work or the bills or marriage. Life is full of stress. Is he going to turn to drugs during these moments of struggle? Is this what you want in a future husband?

I think it’s really important that you take a moment to evaluate whether this is the type of relationship you want to be in. Drugs destroy lives. And your boyfriend will likely choose stronger and more addictive drugs as he becomes more dependent on them. And those who rely on drugs usually need to fund their addictions, and as the drugs get stronger, the costs go up. Addicts often start stealing to feed their addictions. And later, they will hurt people they steal from. Will this be the path for your boyfriend? I don’t know. But it’s totally feasible. Do you want to risk that?

Let’s be honest—your boyfriend may need a real wake-up call before he gives up drugs. But I believe that you also need a wake-up call.

So, here’s what I think you should do:

  1. Have a serious discussion with your boyfriend. Discuss your concerns with him. You may have to give him an ultimatum. That’s your decision.
  2. Decide where you want to go with this relationship, if anywhere. Dating is the first step to marriage, I believe. Would you consider marrying this guy? And if so, have you considered the consequences of marrying a person who abuses drugs?
  3. Pray. Pray that God opens your heart up to the truth of this reality. Pray for the courage to deal with this. And pray for your boyfriend—that his eyes are opened to the destruction that drugs usually cause.

Good luck and God bless!

Need some advice? Ask your relationship questions in the Ask Olivia Girl Talk forum or in the comments below and I might answer them in a future article!

Image: Lightstock | brenton_clarke

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3 Comments

  1. Project Inspired

    Posted by Beloved_Woman on May 17, 2015 at 20:54

    Been there, done that, wish I high tailed out of relationship. When it comes down to choosing you or the drugs, it will be the drugs…my father is an addict to it, the guy I dated for ten months is still doing it (3 years after relationship). Okay, maybe there is a slim chance of a person going the other way, but that’s slim. He has to WANT to change for himself, not for you because that will be short lived.

    Think about the long run. If you are crying after every time you two talk about this, do you really want to be like that for life? Most importantly, is he pulling you away from God? Are you compromising your values and what you believe in?

    God isn’t going to give you somebody that has an addiction and going down to destruction. He wants the BEST for you…question is, are you going to trust Him?

  2. ReaganthePK15

    Posted by ReaganthePK15 on March 29, 2015 at 20:04

    Good article! I see especially your point about him maybe turning to drugs at other points in his life because of stress. There is hope, and keep praying. God will show you whether you should be with him or not.

  3. USGIRL95

    Posted by USGIRL95 on March 21, 2015 at 20:57

    I can relate to this subject in many ways”‘ I “d say don”t give up on friends that re doing drugs”‘ I “h three girlfriends who did drugs for a while”‘ I left them for a while”‘ till they completely turned around”‘ my $$$$ was stolen from me by childhood friend bout six years she was doing drugs she stole it for her drug habit God turned her around & my other two friends from drugs”! There”s hope girly!. My guy friend Matt unfortely never stopped doing drugs to a point where he got expelled from High School it hurt me a lot eleven years of friendship was utterly destroyed he got a girl pregeant he was than a father I cried of sadness the guy I knew was sweet caring kind”‘ long suffering’ self control’ that’s all gone”‘ he is austicts I was sad I declined when he asked me to date me” I said no I can”t my beliefs didn”t match up with his he respected my answers”‘
    I got a lot of good memories” he was high on drugs he threw my friend at a wall in school she could been badly injured I ended up texting him I don”t apeticte u hurting ur girlfriend I was afraid he “d hurt her she was fifteen at the time”‘ he was 19 at the time”‘ I warned him pentelty I”m not going to keep the friendship with him if he kept lying bout what he was doing”‘ I told him either drugs or friendship or I end it”‘ those were the. Choices I gave him”‘ sometimes I miss him he”s not a good example as far I know. I “d do is prey for your boyfriend u need to be distances away from him”‘ he could hurt you”‘ courrpiction cause bad company he is bad company I “d not date someone like that”‘ he is a fallen Christian or in wovle”s clothing be careful Noicole that’s is very Riskey what she is doing