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Christian Life

“Help! My Brothers Act Ungodly! How Do I Make Them Put God First?”


I am 19 years old and quite old-fashioned, I guess. I have three older brothers who all have girlfriends. None of them are quite Godly men. They’re more caught up in earthly things than Godly things. We’ve been fighting these days because our views are different. … Two of my brothers have been bringing their girlfriends [home] and I feel that they should have a little more respect when coming to the house; after all, they’re still living under our parents’ roof. One of my brothers brings his girlfriend [over] whenever my mother is not home, and she isn’t a Godly woman either. Another brother brings [his] girlfriend [home] and lets her sleep over even though he and my oldest brother are sharing rooms. I know they’re all still pure and plan on waiting till they get married—that’s only because I give them a speech on waiting. I just don’t think that the way they are living is getting them any closer to God. Every time I tell them about God, they call me a saint. I know I don’t have a boyfriend, that I am waiting and putting God above everything else, but is just the way I live. What should I do to make them see that if they put God first, they’ll be much happier and would find peace?

Hey girl, thanks for entrusting me with your question.

I know it can be really frustrating and somewhat scary when the people we love behave in an ungodly way. Sure, we should try to share God’s Word with them, but ultimately, that’s all we can do. Have you heard the saying “You can bring a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink”? Well, this is the same for your brothers.

If you’re looking for validation, then yes, you’re right. Based on what you’ve written, your brothers are not acting Godly. Going against your parents’ rules is disrespectful and having girls sleep over is inappropriate. But all you can do is tell them this and pray for them. The rest is up to them.

The fact that your brothers call you a “saint” is an indication that they’re not taking you seriously.

So, here’s what I think you should do:

  1. Continue to follow your desire to be the best Christian you can be. You can show the light to others, but being the light is a more effective way to evangelize. Hopefully, they will see that following God’s Commandments is the better way.
  2. Be there for your brothers. They already know how you feel, so there’s no point in continuing to upset yourself by arguing with them. Maybe one day they will see that what they are doing is wrong and they may come to you for guidance.
  3. Pray for the strength to continue following Christ. It won’t be easy when your brothers are following the world. You need to stay strong in your faith by continuing to grow close to God. Prayer is fundamental in this relationship.
  4. Pray that God not only opens their eyes to His truth, but also their hearts to the desire to follow it.

Good luck and God bless!

Need some advice? Ask your relationship questions in the Ask Olivia Girl Talk forum or in the comments below and I might answer them in a future article!

Image: Lightstock | Brayden Heath


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  1. Project Inspired

    Posted by shamaya0804 on August 2, 2015 at 11:35

    This helps me a lot .

  2. Project Inspired

    Posted by Chrissie on March 4, 2015 at 16:04

    Continue to persevere girl! Remember: GOD ANSWERS PRAYER AND CHRIST IS THE ANSWER!

  3. goatwrangler

    Posted by goatwrangler on March 4, 2015 at 13:43

    You can’t “make” anyone do anything, nor should you.

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by Allison616 on March 12, 2015 at 18:11

      TOTALLY agree. The reason why atheists are so tuned out to Christianity is because christians keep “making” them understand things. But here’s the deal. Jesus convicted, he didn’t convince. He spoke the truth and left it completely up to others what they thought. That’s what you need to do. If you try and convince them they’re wrong, it’s not gonna go anywhere. And to be honest, it doesn’t sound like they ARE doing wrong. If they’re not sinning or stumbling, then it’s not wrong for them to let their girlfriends sleep over. Jesus doesn’t have any rules against that, he has rules against lust, adulterers, and fornicators. Doesn’t sound like your brothers are doing that. It is up to them and your parents to decide what the boundries should be.

      • Project Inspired

        Posted by Allison616 on March 12, 2015 at 18:12

        And I have 3 brothers as well. I understand the struggle of seeing them do something dumb and wondering what the frapeccino inspired them to do something so stupid. But I have to bite my tongue and simply remind them of the truth- but what they do with it is in their hands, it’s for them to decide.

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by Pippylongstockings on March 9, 2015 at 23:06

      Yep ^^ God is the only one who can change their hearts. Forcing them isn’t going to do anybody any good. All you can do is pray for them