So there is this guy I like. And he is a major farm boy type. And we have gotten closer. And I found out his dad and my dad are friends (I never put two and two together). We both like agriculture stuff. And his friends always tease him when I am around, and try shoving him into me. And we danced together at a school dance. But I don’t know where he stands in his faith. And I feel he is pulling me away from God. But I really like him! Which scares me. I am starting to swear now and dress more revealing (which is not me). But he acts like he likes me. I always catch him stealing glances my way. But we are both really shy. And I just don’t know….
Hey girl! Thanks for trusting me with your question.
So, let’s get down to it! My immediate response to you is that no one can pull you away from God without you letting him. Please understand this!
You write that you feel that this guy is “pulling you away from God,” you’re swearing now and dressing in a revealing way, and it’s as if you’ve lost all control of yourself and who you are. But is that really true? Can someone really pull you away from something or someone you love, especially if that someone is good? I don’t think so.
The reality is that you’ve chosen to please this guy rather than please God and even yourself. You wrote that your current behavior isn’t “you”…so then why are you acting this way? If it scares you, then why are you doing it?
Also, if you’re acting in a way that’s contrary to who you are, aren’t you deceiving this guy? What happens when you decide not to act this way anymore or you don’t like who you’ve become? What if you want to go back to loving God more than this guy, and the guy doesn’t like it?
And did this guy start liking you before you started changing or after? Does he like your true self or your new “rebellious” self? If he likes the Godly you, why are you changing? If he likes the ungodly you, why are you interested in him?
You really need to be careful about losing yourself for the sake of a boy—or anyone, for that matter. You’re trying to be someone you think he likes and you’re sacrificing your love for God. Is he really worth it? God says “no.”
Remember, Jesus Himself said in Luke 14:26, “Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself, cannot be my disciple.” Now, Jesus doesn’t want you to hate any of these people or even this guy, especially since the fourth commandment tells us to obey our parents, and many of the commandments are about loving our neighbor. Rather, Jesus doesn’t want us to put anyone above Him. But you are! You’re compromising your Christian values for this guy—Christian values that you hold dear as a result of your love for God.
So, here’s what I think you should do:
- Decide who’s more important to you: God or this guy. Don’t forget, this guy and others may come and go, but God is forever! And let’s be honest, life without God is just an empty world.
- Stay true to yourself. You have instilled Christian values within your heart because it pleases God, right? Don’t give them up for this or any guy. If you’re willing to compromise your values now, who knows what you’re willing to give up for a guy in the future?
- Pray. In all moments of anxiety, you need God. Pray that He helps you stay strong in your faith. At the end of the day, only you can choose to love Him. That’s why you have free will.
Good luck and God bless!
Need some advice? Ask your questions in the Ask Olivia Girl Talk forum or in the comments below and I might answer them in a future article!