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Christian Life

“Help! My Ex-Crush Won’t Leave Me Alone!”

There’s this guy I used to like, in fact, he was my first crush. But eventually it got to be very unhealthy and I had to end it, but now he won’t leave me alone. I feel like maybe he doesn’t know it’s over for good. What do I do?

Hey girl! Thanks for the question–this is truly a tough one.

I would be interested to know how you broke it off with him when you ended it. Were you clear that it was over for good? Or did you just brush him off, ignore his calls or tell him it’s over through a friend? It’s really not easy breaking it off with a guy, especially if he still likes you, so you want to be sure that you made it clear to him!

Another question I have is how he’s bothering you. Is it making you uncomfortable? Are you afraid of him? If he’s just annoying, but you think you can talk to him, then I suggest you sit him down–somewhere public–and lay it out straight and clear.

  • Tell him or remind him that you’re breaking it off. Be very clear with your words. “I just don’t think it’s working” is too ambiguous for someone who wants to make it work. It suggests that if he tries hard enough, he may be able to succeed…which isn’t true!
  • Be kind and compassionate. He may be heartbroken!
  • Do not suggest that you want to stay friends. That’s way too awkward and he’ll think the door’s still open to get back together!
  • Make sure he understands that it’s over.

If you think he might take it badly, or if you’re afraid of him, get an adult to speak with him or be present when you talk to him.

I really pray it all works out for you. God bless and good luck!

Need some advice? Ask your relationship questions in the comments below and I might answer them in a future article!

Image: Project Inspired

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5 Comments

  1. kayla.hb13

    Posted by kayla.hb13 on February 14, 2014 at 19:20

    Yeah… I’ve had this problem where a guy will just randomly text me, “I’m thinking about u like always”… it’s really uncomfortable and I never know what to do! Don’t worry, girls, we have all been in an awkward situation with a guy! But God will give us an awesome guy who will pursue us kindly and respect boundaries! How great is it that we can know that???!?? 🙂

  2. Mose0413

    Posted by Mose0413 on February 14, 2014 at 18:08

    I have dealt with this situation for years. And the thing is he and I used to be great friends. But then he wanted more than I was willing to give. I told him no many times and I ended up having to ignore him completely which has worked so far.

  3. Christian.girl1441

    Posted by Christian.girl1441 on February 13, 2014 at 20:07

    BFF troubles!
    Me and my best friend want to be friends forever, but lately we’ve been fighting a lot, AND to top that off, we both like the same guy! I want to be friends, but avoid stuff like that! How can we stay friends, but avoid drama!

  4. the_real_me101

    Posted by the_real_me101 on February 13, 2014 at 14:40

    been in your situation before, like i always say, just turn to God, he will guide

  5. thespiritualwarrior7

    Posted by thespiritualwarrior7 on February 12, 2014 at 17:02

    Oh! Thank you so much! It’s likely I’ll be confronting him tonight, so I’ll try some of these strategies.