“How Can I Talk More to the Guy I Like?”
Written by Aysha Ives | August 15, 2013
I get nervous when I’m around this guy that I like a lot and I’m not really sure what to do! I don’t want to look goofy or overly infatuated with him when he’s around so I don’t talk to him a lot. The problem is that I end up looking completely uninterested! So what do I do?
Interacting with the guy you like can be pretty tricky! When you’re shy or when flirting doesn’t come naturally, it can be particularly hard to balance whether you appear overly interested or completely disinterested. Here are a few tips that might help!
- Remember that he’s just a person! When interacting with guys, one thing that’s important to remember is that they’re really not that different from you. Although guys and girls are motivated by different things, when it comes down to it, we’re ALL human! When you remember that he’s just another human being who God created, then it becomes easier to talk to him!
- Rejection is a myth. Keep in mind that rejection only has the value that you place on it! This means that rejection is only as real as you perceive it to be. If your crush discovers that you like him and he isn’t interested in building a relationship, then a few things can happen. You can tell yourself that you’re an awful person and that’s why he isn’t interested. You could also tell yourself that he’s an awful person and doesn’t know what he’s missing. OR you could remind yourself that you’re just different people and the relationship isn’t meant to be because God plans to send someone more suited for you! Once you have the mindset that “rejection” only means that someone or something better is on the way, then it won’t be so hard to talk to potential boyfriends!
- Be intentional about starting a conversation. It’s going to be hard to form a relationship if there is no conversation. Try choosing a specific topic to talk about with your crush so that it moves past the occasional “Hi.” Also, try asking open-ended question (for example, “Great shirt! Where did you get it?”) because open-ended questions require a response and can be great conversation starters!
- Try a group outing. Organize a group outing with a couple of your friends and invite him to come along. Make sure the group stays small so that you can have ample opportunity to talk to him. This is a great way to be able to casually talk to your crush. If you’re too shy to invite him by yourself, grab a buddy and approach him together; just be sure that YOU do the talking. Not only will you have invited him along to a great outing, but you’ll have also managed to TALK to him in the process!
- Stay focused on God! When you choose to date or court, don’t lose sight of God in the process. Make time for GOD ever single day because relationships outside of Him won’t prosper anyway!
What do you girls think? Are you shy around your crushes? What other suggestions do you have?