How Do I Avoid Going Back to the Wrong Guy?
Written by Christi Given | September 17, 2016
Every week, I go through the “Girl Talk” section of Project Inspired and look for those seeking advice and counsel. I want to help answer some questions you may have about living out your Christian life and walk of faith! We want PI to be a safe place where you can ask questions. Contact me @ChristiGiven.
This week, a PI Girl shared her story and testimony on how she dated an older guy in high school, and how he said he was Christian, but was not walking out his faith by honoring purity and by respecting this young lady. They had a friendship while being in a band together, but outside of kissing and seeing each other at practice, it was not a good relationship because they never saw each other. After being convicted of this relationship at a youth camp, this PI Girl broke it off. The problem is that she’s tempted to go back to him even though she knows it is not God’s best, and also her parents do not approve.
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When You Know It’s Wrong
Girls, this is really hard to deal with, especially when you run into the guy that you like but know deep in your soul it is wrong. What you need to do in this situation is, first off, pray. I know that it may seem like the obvious thing to do, but seriously, prayer helps remove fear and anxiety and can help us make better choices. Focusing on Jesus and God’s path gives us peace, joy and clarity, and helps us to remove any roadblocks from being in God’s perfect plan.
You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand. (Psalm 16:11)
How to Cut It Off
Next, you must, in the proper way, cut off the relationship and communication to avoid falling back into lust and/or the old ways of living. You must depend on God’s strength to help you in this season because our flesh is weak. Sometimes in the garden of life, branches need pruning, which doesn’t feel good, but it is the healthiest for us to grow. You don’t want to allow someone to block you from growing in your relationship in Christ.
He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. (John 15:2)
Wait for the Best
Do you prefer to wait in life for the best, or do you tend to take shortcuts and the quick solution? It’s tempting to always want the easier, faster route…this may be convenient or may be appealing, but in the long run, it’s not lasting. We all have areas in life we can work on regarding being patient and trusting God, but why not examine how we take the shorter route instead of waiting on God’s best? When we wait on God, we will fly high like the eagle who has the better perspective and higher view. Do not let someone deter you from trusting in God’s timing. Although it may be painful for a short season, God is faithful and will reward you for trusting in His goodness.
…those who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint (Isaiah 40:31)
Look at the Long-Term Effects
PI Girls of many different ages read this column, but I want to say that if you’re in high school or college, you may or may not be thinking of marriage, but if you’re under the age of dating, obviously you can pray for your husband in the far-off future—everyone is in different places in life. I wanted to say it is important to have the perspective of preparing YOUR heart for the right man of God versus God sending someone to rescue you or sweep you off your feet. We must really focus on being the best women of faith.
Know Only Jesus Satisfies
Realize if you are not whole in your heart now, only Jesus can fill that empty space in your soul. Only God can satisfy us, not man. We must have the indwelling of the Holy Spirit and thirst for God’s Word and righteousness, instead of constantly looking for attention from guys.
The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. (Isaiah 58:11)
Tips on NOT Going Back to the WRONG Guy:
1. Pray: Ask God for protection and for strength to not cave in. We must resist the enemy and also temptation, and then it will be removed. We must seek God and His strength (Philippians 4:13) because we can do nothing without Him (John 15:5).
I can do all this through him who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:13)
2. Cut Ties: You need to fully cut off this relationship if it is hurting your heart, causing destruction and/or hindering your walk with God. The Bible says that we need to cut off the branches that do not bear good fruit in our lives. You will know when it is the right time.
Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. (Matthew 26:41)
3. Think of the Long-Term Outcome: It’s easy to make quick decisions that appeal to the flesh or our desires in the short term, but if you think of the spiritual fruit in the longer term of waiting on God for HIS best, it will be WORTH it! If you take a shortcut and settle for less than what God has for you, it will be filled with regret, sin, compromise, pain, sickness and brokenness. No one wants a quick fix—we want the good things in life that last, take time and are quality, amen?!
Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD. (Psalm 27:14)
4. Prepare Your Heart for Your Husband: We want to eventually get married and we tend to think in cultural terms of our Prince Charming arriving. Many times we want someone to rescue us and sweep us off our feet, but what about preparing our hearts for marriage and for the right courtship?
5. Be Content in the Lord: Only the Holy Spirit can fill the empty space in our hearts. We must be born again and trust in God He will give us the comfort and peace we need.
But the Helper (Comforter, Advocate, Intercessor—Counselor, Strengthener, Standby), the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name [in My place, to represent Me and act on My behalf], He will teach you all things. And He will help you remember everything that I have told you. (John 14:26)
PI Girls, do you want a fast-food boyfriend or do you desire GOD’s choice? The man of God will pursue YOU and will protect your relationship with Jesus if He is a godly man. Comment below with any prayer requests!
Message Christi Given for more questions or prayer requests at facebook.com/ChristiGiven