How Do I Politely “Friend-Zone” a Guy?
Written by Christi Given | January 13, 2017
Every week I go through the “Girl Talk” section of Project Inspired and look for those seeking advice and counsel. I want to help answer some questions you may have about living out your Christian walk of faith and any miscellaneous topics! We want PI to be a safe place where you can ask questions and become bold in your faith. We love you, PI readers!
This week, a PI Girl asked about how to kindly tell a guy you’re not interested in being more than friends. Click here to read the full post or to join our Girl Talk forum.
When telling a guy that you’re not interested in him romantically or being more than friends, you want to do it in a loving and polite manner. Rejection is not easy for anyone, and sometimes clear communication from the get-go (in the beginning of the friendship) can prevent any heartbreak or a misleading situation.
It really depends case by case on how to respond and tell a guy you don’t want more than a friendship, because it will be based on how close you are to the guy who is interested in you. If your best guy friend suddenly is interested, it may be harder for you because you probably don’t want to risk ruining the friendship or making it awkward later for you both.
Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires. (Song of Solomon 8:4)
In the case of an acquaintance, it’s probably easier to share with the person where you stand relationship-wise. If it’s a newer friend, make sure to be clear and gracious when setting boundaries, not spend too much time together alone (if at all), and explain that you want a pure friendship and/or that you don’t see them in that way. It’s best to spend time together in group settings if you want to keep the friendship. Honesty is the best policy, and if the person can’t respect it as a new guy friend or acquaintance, it may be up to you both if you continue to speak.
If the guy is really interested in you and you decide it’s just simply never going to be more than a friendship, then you must know that it can affect your relationship in the long run. The guy who is interested in you may not want to see you with someone else in the future or may have a fear of getting hurt.
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. (Proverbs 4:23)
The best option for all situations is to be clear and honest; to pray and ask God to give you the words; and to really get to know the person before making this decision. If you KNOW for certain that you’re not interested, please be up front about it and just tell the person, “I really love our friendship and don’t want to taint or change that.” Hopefully they will respect you and will move on.
PI Girls, I am praying for you!
Do you have any words of wisdom or advice for our PI community about this subject?