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How Do I Survive With Roomies When I’m an Introvert?

Every week I go through the “Girl Talk” section of Project Inspired and look for those seeking advice and counsel. I want to help answer some questions you may have about living out your Christian walk of faith and any miscellaneous topics! We want PI to be a safe place where you can ask questions and become bold in your faith. We love you, PI readers!

This week on the Girl Talk college forum, an anonymous PI Girl asked about how to deal with roommates in college who are very talkative, and how she isn’t and sometimes wants to keep to herself. She is wondering how to handle the situation.

So I moved into my apartment for school today and have three roommates. So far they seem really nice, but we haven’t really clicked. They all know each other, and I don’t know any of them, so it sort of feels…awkward. I’m also pretty introverted and ambiverted—not shy or socially anxious, but being around people a lot drains my energy after a while, even though I like talking…how do you survive with roommates as an introvert? I don’t want them to think I’m rude or unfriendly, but sometimes I don’t feel like talking, and sometimes I want to be alone. I’ve met all of them and chatted with each a little bit, and we talked about how we might decorate our apartment, but that’s pretty much it. They all hang out together and I would rather hang out by myself (for now) since I don’t know them well and I’m super exhausted from this past week.”

Click here to read the full post and to join the Girl Talk Forum.

This is a great question and I’m sure many other PI Girls are wondering the same thing.

I would say that it’s wise to express to your roomies that sometimes you just need to come in and grab some things from your room or the apartment. Explain that to them and you can say a quick hi, but tell them you can’t always stop and have a long conversation.

Your roommates may be going through the same struggle, so honesty is key. You need to be friendly while also being cautious to not be a people pleaser. You have to come in and out of your living space and you may have to rush to work or school. You can say a quick hi and bye, but tell your roomies you can catch up later in the evening—they will get it. (If not, pray and ask God for wisdom on how to deal with the situation.)

A great idea for someone who is super busy and needs a set time to do catch-ups with friends is to plan a girls’ night out or dinner at the apartment together. That way, you can all respect each other’s schedules and really learn how to deal with what everyone is facing.

If you want an apartment catch-up about any concerns in the apartment, schedule a meeting. A girls’ night and a communicative meeting about cleaning, dishes and apartment duties are totally separate, so make sure to be clear with your needs.


How to Deal With Roomies

1. Always smile or say hi and be friendly.

2. Express to your roomies that you can’t always have long conversations in and out on the way to class or work. They will understand.

3. Be kind, but also mention to your roommates that you have somewhere to be. They will have compassion.

4. Schedule a girls’ hangout night where you can all catch up.

5. Communicate and plan apartment meetings.


PI Girls, do you have roommates? How do you handle this type of situation?

Image: Lightstock | Prixel Creative


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