People are posting all over the Internet and all over the media “advertising” and “posting” for the guy of their dreams. There are social networking sites just for finding “the One.” There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t see a girl posting on some social network asking, “Why God? Why is my heart broken? Where is my dream guy!? Why am I all alone and everyone else happy?! Maybe if I had just done (insert here), like my boyfriend wanted, then I wouldn’t be alone. What am I doing WRONG?!?!?”
I have thought about this topic for years. Through talking with various people in many different situations about this, I have counseled people with this:
First of all, God loves you and made you special. He wouldn’t want you to be with someone who isn’t as special as you are. God made a man to love a woman.
The way I see it, God wants a man to love you as close to the way He does as possible. The relationship mirrors the relationship Christ has to His people, His Bride. The Bride is to love Christ wholeheartedly, trust Him, honor Him, serve Him selflessly and respect Him. Christ loves his Bride unconditionally and is selfless in His endeavors. He protects, strengthens and carries His Bride through the troubling times. Wouldn’t any girl LOVE to have a man like that?
Granted, both guys and girls are all flawed because we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, so we will not be perfect. But we can strive to embody The Bride (for girls) or Christ (for guys) to show the world that Christ lives in you and show everyone that You LOVE Christ!
God is like a GPS for your life (while you’re here on earth), Jesus is your passenger, The Holy Spirit is your helper and you are the driver.
God has created the perfect mate for you. He can see where you are, Point A, and where this man is who He has created for you, Point B. Jesus talks to you along the way, God shows you the next step you must take, and the Holy Spirit helps urge you along the way and lights up the road ahead.
Just like with a GPS, it shows you the steps you must take, but it doesn’t tell you there’s a pothole one mile down the road, when your tire will go flat, if you get backed up in traffic, etc. There’s one other element: the gasoline for your care. That gas is faith in Him. Faith that He will get you through it. If you give up, then you will eventually just stop. You have to keep believing in Him.
If you feel alone, DON’T.
Jesus is always with you, even when you don’t register it with your senses. HE IS. Don’t give up on Him, because He has NEVER given up on you.
Happiness is a state of mind. Joy comes from above. (Trust me, I know the difference, I’ve struggled with this).
If you tend to be a pessimistic person, find five things a day to be happy about, even if your day is terrible. If you are an optimist, good for you! But everyone needs to be reminded that we are blessed. Did you slept on a mattress with a blanket? Do you have clothes to put on today? Did you have clean, running water this morning, food for the day? Did you wake up this morning? Did you breathe within the past minute? Do you have someone who loves you in this world (a family member, a friend, a dog with a wiggly tail, etc.)? Then there are at least five things right there. If you want true joy, ask God to grant it to you.
But I know what you are thinking, “Why is my heart broken? Doesn’t God care?” OF COURSE HE CARES! He holds every tear you ever cried! He hurts when you hurt. He loves you! If you feel that you cannot stand the pain, to the point where you don’t want to crawl out of bed, you just want to curl up in a ball and hide from the world, cling to Him! You may not see it at the moment, but this pain that you are feeling right now will make you stronger. Think of it as one of life’s “potholes.”
NEVER compromise your values for a guy, I don’t care how “amazingly perfect” he is.
If he were so “perfect,” as you say, would he be putting you in a situation you were uncomfortable with? Sit yourself down and write down your morals (what you see as right or wrong). Sometimes just doing this can help you. Write out what you will do and refuse to do. Once you have “set the line” you refuse to cross, stick to it. If a guy puts you a situation that may cause you to cross the line you have set, be sure to stop him and make it extremely clear where you draw the line. It may end up inevitably ending your relationship, but in the end, you did what you believed in.
This is coming from someone with experience: My ex-boyfriend and I got to a point where I was uncomfortable. I made it clear where I drew the line. He STILL tried to pressure me for weeks, but I did not give in. Once he realized I wasn’t budging on what I was willing to do, he gave up and broke up with me (on this past Christmas Day, of all things).
I was hurting for a while because I thought he was different and I thought I loved him. It turned out that I was just “infatuated” with him. He was my first kiss, my first boyfriend. I look back now and realize that I want nothing but blessings for my ex. I want him to come to know God and experience Him like I have. I feel empowered now. I feel stronger! I never want to give in to the ways of this world. I realize now that I am a woman made by a loving God.
Finally, if you are doing everything you can think of to do correctly and you still can’t see where your “guy” is, then here comes the hard part: WAITING!
I’ve been waiting for years myself. Patience is a virtue, a harder virtue to uphold for some people than others. Maybe it’s not you who’s being worked on at the moment, did you ever stop to think that God just may be working on your mate as well? God is the master potter and He is molding you and your mate and everyone else. You wouldn’t want the perfect man for you to be only half done, would you? I know I wouldn’t. The truth is, no one can understand EVERYTHING that God is doing in their lives.
Written by PI Fan, Faithe