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Inspiration

How I Forgave My Bullies (and Why You Should Too)

Sometimes people hurt us in the worst ways possible. For girls, this often is through mean gossip, words written on the wall, a snide comment, a hurtful text and so many other things. Often times we sit in our own self-pity and just hold in anger for the person who hurt us like that.

Just imagine for a second that your closest friend decides to turn their back on you. This person hurts you in the WORST ways possible. They go as far as to betray you. Would you forgive them, ever? Probably not.

The thing is, there was this guy. His best friend sold him for blood money to people who wanted him dead. Once those people had killed him, the man who sold him felt awful. He had just wronged his close friend. But the funny thing was, he was already forgiven.

The guy who was so unjustifiably betrayed? His name was Jesus. Before he died he forgave those who wronged him, and through his death and forgiveness, others were able to get into heaven. Even after hurting God over and over with our sins, we can get into heaven.

If we have such a Merciful Savior, who forgives even those who SELL Him away, why don’t we forgive? How come we find it so hard to forgive those who have hurt us in some way?

Trust me, I understand it isn’t easy. I KNOW it’s not. I have harbored hurt before, and gripped anger. I have stared at a bathroom wall that screamed, “You aren’t good enough,” and “You are worthless.” A wall that told me that I am ugly and several other lies. The worst part, it was directed right. At. Me. Name and all.

In the beginning, I was so full of anger for this vandal. A vandal who was one of my peers and could easily be in one of my classes? What right did they have to write these things about me?

I shed too many tears over it. But through some of my very closest friends and mentors, I was reminded of that one thing:

Forgiveness. Even if you don’t believe in God or Jesus, forgiveness is sooo appealing. It’s a chance to start over and erase all mistakes. Every time I mess up (which is often), I hope that someone will forgive me for hurting them.

Through all of this trial, I have come to not only forgive whoever this is, but forget it. What happened is a thing of the past. Although it’s still saved as a memory, it is neither a good thing nor a bad thing.

I wish I could forgive this person to their face, but I do not know who it is.

But to anyone who has ever hurt me on purpose or on accident:

I forgive you.

Girls, I encourage you to forgive COMPLETELY from you hearts. Pray for help. Because forgiveness is the best thing for many reasons: It keeps your heart open to others and it makes you free.

Once you have forgiven someone, it’s time to let go and see what God also has planned for you. He often makes the worst situations shine like jewels, if you look at it with the right light.

Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive anyone’s sins, their sins are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven (John 20:22-23).

You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives (Genesis 50:20).

Written by PI girl, Madeleine McCarty

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Image: Thinkstock | istockphoto

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14 Comments

  1. Lexis

    Posted by Lexis on August 14, 2012 at 08:36

    At my school we have constant drama and I’ll truthfully forgive the other person(s). They think that since I forgave them after something they did that REALLY hurt me that we are best friends again. But I’d rather stay my distance because I don’t want to be hurt again like that. Who is right?

  2. Project Inspired

    Posted by Country Christian Girl on July 24, 2012 at 10:07

    I soo needed this right now! :). I tend to push people away when they try to get too close to me, whether theyre a boyfriend, family member, or a friend. This has helped, cause the only reason why I do that is because I dont forgive the people in the past that hurt me, so I get scared, n then push people away when they try n get close to me. Thank you SOO much for this article! May God Bless You to the fullest! 🙂

  3. Project Inspired

    Posted by TheMouseLover on June 30, 2012 at 08:51

    I know that this doesn’t apply to the subject of the article (the article was great by the way! Thankyou for posting it), but someone here on project inspired should do a post on how to deal with people that are CONSTANTLy taking the Lord’s name in vein. Most of my friends are constantly using the word God or Jesus with swear words or saying “Oh my God.” It bugs me and makes me really sad, because i go to a catholic school and we study the ten comandments and how to be a good catholic/christian and yet they still say those things! Someone should do a post on how to talk to these people about it.

  4. Project Inspired

    Posted by picklejar on June 29, 2012 at 07:47

    This article brings back memories of a dark time in my life. Three years ago, one of my friends was going through a rough patch right after her parents split. At the time, I had the same friends as her, and interests and talents that were very much like hers. About two months into the school year she began to be a jerk towards me, either screaming or ignoring me when I talked and telling people that I was trying to copy her style behind my back. I couldn’t even try to stay away from her since we were in the same class and hung around the same friends.
    Unfortunately, these friends of ours seemed to like her better, and would rarely stick up for me when a problem arose between the two of us. It made me feel pitiful and alienated, especially since I was just trying to be myself but my talents ended up being labeled as an imitation of hers.
    It took me a year and a half, even though I haven’t seen her or these friends again since the end of that grade, but I’d managed to let go of most of my grudges against them. One of the things that help me to achieve this is that I knew her personally. She was the type of person who loved attention and thrived on other people’s recognition of her individuality. When I had started to threaten her status as the best at certain things, it gave her reason to vent all her frustrations on me whether I was the cause of them or not. While this is in no fashion the best way to release yourself of things that upset you, I had to remember that it could happen to anyone who has too much to deal with, and I might have acted the same way in her situation.

  5. trumpetchick

    Posted by trumpetchick on June 27, 2012 at 10:41

    Love this!

  6. Paris

    Posted by Paris on June 26, 2012 at 21:20

    I love it! Life is not fun if you hold a grudge the whole time.

  7. love4494

    Posted by love4494 on June 26, 2012 at 18:37

    This sounds just like me! I learned to forgive my bullies who were absolutely brutal to me and had so many friends I thought I could trust turn their back on me. Forgiveness is always the right way to go or else your just going to be holding this burden forever.

  8. jones.dana46

    Posted by jones.dana46 on June 26, 2012 at 18:00

    Colossians 3:13 “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

  9. Project Inspired

    Posted by A. Christine on June 26, 2012 at 17:04

    Congratulations! 🙂

  10. Project Inspired

    Posted by musicalkat33 on June 26, 2012 at 14:24

    Thanks so much for sharing this. I am in a similar situation right now; 97 kids in my school district were caught stealing and plagiarizing my homework off of our school’s online database. I’m trying to forgive them, and that has been my goal throughout this whole journey. Please pray for me girls, that I may have the strength to forgive in the same was as Madeleine.

    • emily.kate

      Posted by emily.kate on June 28, 2012 at 12:39

      im so sorry that your in this situation. stay strong, you can get through it. ive been bullied myself and i know its hard to completely forgive someone. ill be keeping you in my prayers!

  11. Project Inspired

    Posted by AlyssaBillow on June 26, 2012 at 11:16

    Awhh, Madeleine this is great! Loving and forgiving our enemies is hard to do! But you are right . . . it’s worth it. =)

  12. Project Inspired

    Posted by tNOgreaterlove on June 26, 2012 at 11:04

    Amen! You go girl… it is true that until you forgive you will never find peace, and I’m so happy for you that you figured that out!

  13. horselover0509

    Posted by horselover0509 on June 26, 2012 at 08:43

    thank you so much for sharing your trials and triumphs of forgivness! you are a true woman of God! 🙂